Self-esteem, self-respect, self-affirmation. Painful s.(exacerbated). Insulted s. Spare someone. With.(do not give rise to feelings of resentment or offended pride).
Dictionary Ozhegova. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. 1949-1992 .
Synonyms:
See what “PRIDE” is in other dictionaries:
Self-love... Spelling dictionary-reference book
It takes a lot of pride not to show it too much. Pierre Marivaux Our pride suffers more when our tastes are criticized than when our views are condemned. François La Rochefoucauld We are unable to ignore the contempt of others: with us... Consolidated encyclopedia of aphorisms
Honor. See egoism... Dictionary of Russian synonyms and similar expressions. under. ed. N. Abramova, M.: Russian Dictionaries, 1999. pride, self-esteem, pride, self-respect, ambition, ambitiousness, self-interest,... ... Synonym dictionary
PRIDE, self-love, cf. A high assessment of one’s own strengths, combined with a jealous attitude towards the opinions of others about oneself; sensitivity to others' opinions of oneself. A man of great pride. False pride. Painful pride. To spare someone... Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary
Self-love- Self-love ♦ Amour Propre Self-love from the point of view of another person; the desire to be loved, to be approved or admired; horror at the thought that another person might hate or despise you. La Rochefoucauld sees in pride... ... Sponville's Philosophical Dictionary
pride- Boundless, immeasurable, unrestrained, limitless, painful, large, hypertrophied, stupid, proud, contented, arrogant, healthy, excessive, false, boyish, petty, petty, young, insatiable, unbridled, unlimited,... ... Dictionary of epithets
pride- boundless self-love immeasurable pride boundless pride great pride devilish pride colossal pride unbridled pride exorbitant pride enormous pride ... Dictionary of Russian Idioms
Self-love- - predilection for oneself, vanity, resentment, desire to have better personal qualities than others, to be higher than others. In the underworld of the scenes, pride knows no gender: the success of an artist - whether male or female - turns everything against him... ... Encyclopedic Dictionary of Psychology and Pedagogy
Self-love- a spiritual and moral quality of an individual, manifested as respect for oneself as an individual, as recognition of one’s own merits and, sometimes, not noticing one’s shortcomings. But the quality of self-love differs from simple self-esteem in the combination of feelings... ... Fundamentals of spiritual culture ( encyclopedic Dictionary teacher)
- (foreign) self-esteem; ambition Wed. By the word self-love (the root of all other vices) I do not mean that sense of self-worth, which, without going beyond the boundaries of moderation, is not in the least reprehensible for a person; from... ... Michelson's Large Explanatory and Phraseological Dictionary
Books
- The Book of Deceptions (collection), Martha Ketro. The heroines of this book take deception very seriously, seeing it as a creative act, a means to strengthen a fragile reality, or an instrument of power. The path of the Liar seems to them a heroic path and... eBook
- Look for the young lady, or Ruthless Orpheus, Anton Chizh. A hairdresser's talent lies not only in skillfully curling a woman's curls, plucking eyebrows and captivatingly tinting eyelashes. A hairdresser is a subtle psychologist, an expert on women’s souls, their secrets...
Let's try to understand the meaning of the term “self-love” and try to understand what it is. So, self-love is a trait that is inherent in everyone, it differs only in degree, greater or lesser, for each person. Self-love allows you to determine the winning sides, the degree of development, sociability, the ability to self-criticize and the normal perception of criticism from the outside, identifying your personality. This character trait makes it possible to set a high bar for ourselves and achieve what we want with confidence; a sense of pride pushes us forward, allows us to draw conclusions from the criticism received and improve our track record. This is a kind of ability to identify one’s significance in the chain – me and the world around me.
Sick or wounded pride - what does it mean?
Everything should be in moderation, this also applies to self-esteem. Its excess prevents a person from adequately assessing his strengths and capabilities and from accepting appropriate criticism addressed to him. With wounded pride, refusals and the mildest attempts to point out mistakes will be met with hostility, followed by a violent reaction and even aggression. According to practicing psychologists, heightened pride is a consequence of an existing inferiority complex, an attempt to hide dissatisfaction with oneself behind an ideal mask, but is not a mental disorder.
Is self-love good or bad?
When answering the question that follows, you need to clearly understand what measure of pride we are talking about. If you mean adequate self-esteem, a sense of dignity, the ability to accept comments addressed to you, but at the same time not to give yourself offense and achieve your goals - this is of course good. The sages said that great pride is better than low pride. But when we're talking about about self-love, which is visible to the naked eye, which prevents you from existing in society, which does not allow you to intelligently assess your capabilities and strengths, if your interests prevail over the interests of others, personal importance above other people is not the best quality of character. Following sick pride will come neurasthenia, because a person will constantly feel that he is underestimated, in order to console the narcissistic ego, he will indulge in all serious things: alcoholism, gluttony, drug addiction and other asocial actions.
How to get rid of pride?
In cases of adequate self-esteem, 
You shouldn’t get rid of it, it’s more of a source of pride than a drawback. Self-love, within normal limits, will be the engine forward towards accomplishments and achievements, the desire for self-development, the ability to derive personal benefit from these mistakes and defeats. When it comes to a patient with wounded pride, it is most likely impossible to do without the help of a qualified psychologist and attending trainings. Because a narcissistic person will not take your word for it that he has self-esteem problems.
Appreciate yourself, believe in your personal capabilities, and don’t let yourself be offended.
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Self-love is an overestimation of one’s strengths, which is simultaneously combined with a jealous attitude towards one’s own personality and is expressed by strong sensitivity to one’s opinion about oneself. Self-love is noted in every individual, but is expressed in varying degrees. Overly proud individuals are overly sensitive to criticism and are incredibly worried when they are denied something. Injured pride can develop into fully conscious or unconscious revenge.
Hurt pride
Each of the individuals is a person, represents something, has unique character traits and worldview. This is an absolute and indisputable fact. And yet human psychology includes some points that unite all people. Such features include pride, which is one of the characteristics of human character.
Is self-love good or bad? Psychologists give the following meaning to self-esteem: an individual’s defense of his social value, as well as relevance. In other words, self-love defines a character trait due to which an individual becomes smarter, more attractive, grows above himself, and maintains value in society.
Is self-love a good incentive to improve your life? Everyone will answer this question for themselves. Some are inclined to believe that self-love is good, others that it is an illusion of one’s own superiority, leading to hyperbolization of one’s own “I”. One thing is clear that each individual has his own personal motivation and without respect, as well as self-love, intellectual, spiritual and physical growth is impossible. And negative statements, judgments, and indications of shortcomings negatively affect the personality, hurting self-esteem.
Each individual reacts to criticism differently: some feel guilty, some become aggressive, some have decreased self-esteem, some get very irritated, but in any case, criticism does not fall on deaf ears and deals a blow to self-esteem .
Not everyone can accept criticism with dignity due to their individual characteristics and character traits, however, it is important to be able to correctly perceive constructive comments. If it so happens that a person has been given an unreasonable insult, then psychologists advise accepting it as a fait accompli, drawing conclusions and moving on with life.
Humans are very sensitive to social approval. When he is praised, he grows in his own eyes; when he is criticized, it is the other way around. Proud, he builds a certain scale of values in his head and tries to achieve it with all his might. This is good when a person strives for goals that are useful for himself and society, and it is destructive behavior when an individual deliberately takes the path of degradation. It must be remembered that pride itself acts as a catalyst for actions and desires, but not the main reason.
It is sometimes very easy to offend a proud person. To do this, it is enough to say just one word. In this case, there is heightened self-esteem, when a person exclusively concentrates attention on satisfying his needs and desires; by and large, he is indifferent to those around him. Such excessive self-esteem leads to egocentrism.
The desire to be first is considered normal, healthy pride. A physically and mentally healthy person is always endowed with this quality. In this case, it is motivation for professional and personal success.
Vulnerable pride is observed in women, so you should not intentionally offend them, since you can forever lose your good relationship with them. Women react sharply to comments about appearance, way of thinking, behavior. In adulthood, they react especially sensitively to words of flattery and compliments, so it is sometimes better to remain silent than to express a lie. It is important for the fair sex to feel calm and comfortable, so it is better to refrain from directly expressing shortcomings. If such a need exists, then it is better to express it in private. In this case, your hurt pride will not suffer much, and you will maintain normal relationships.
Wounded pride
The bad thing about wounded pride is that the individual perceives critical remarks addressed to him painfully, and begins to treat people with suspicion. It is very difficult for a proud individual to learn to control himself and competently perceive criticism addressed to him. No matter how mildly criticism is presented, it is always difficult for people to perceive, and often individuals take it too close to their hearts, especially if the critic is inexperienced or the criticism is not constructive. Not many people master the art of constructive criticism, so they perceive it doubly very difficult and painful.
How to properly respond to criticism if it so happens that the individual has become its object? If a person has been criticized, then, first of all, he should convince himself that he really has something to criticize him for, otherwise he will behave aggressively. At the same time, if a person recognizes the right of other individuals to criticize him, then he can also count on the recognition of certain rights for him. For example, the right to be taken into account, not to humiliate his dignity, not to extend criticism to the individual. An individual also has the right to demand that criticism be made only in a private conversation and not in the presence of strangers and colleagues.
We offer some tips on how a person should behave in such a situation:
If the essence of the criticism is not clear, then it is necessary to ask the person who is criticizing to clarify what he specifically means;
It is important for a person to learn to separate the content of criticism from the form; if a person is not satisfied with the form, then one can answer this way: “the criticism is fair - I admit this, but I would like it not to become personal”;
If a person does not agree with criticism, then he should say so, mentioning expressions that will emphasize that this point of view is his. For example, “personally, I think differently” or “everything was wrong”;
Always maintain eye contact and speak in a calm, cheerful voice, without raising your tone.
What does self-love mean? Wounded, sick pride is not just an awareness of personal negative aspects of one’s character, it is also a defensive reaction of the EGO to internal problems, as well as Feedback on the world. As a result, with wounded pride, there is resentment towards those people who inflicted it. Offended pride is not a character trait, but acts, as already mentioned, as a defensive reaction of a person who has been offended. Often such an individual becomes impervious to criticism, becomes inadequate and incapable of self-analysis. This happens because the individual’s EGO builds a strong shell around its painful core, which is felt like a dull aching pain in the soul. Provoking factors in this case are lack of love, dissatisfaction with life, dissatisfaction with the reactions of others and with oneself. Constant does not allow a person to live fully. Pointing out a shortcoming or expressing criticism to a person with heightened pride only provokes in him, and the consequence of such painful pride is inappropriate behavior.
Male pride
A blow to pride offends any person, but in comparison with women’s pride, in men it is more acute, as a result of which they become unpredictable, uncontrollable and inadequate. In order not to hurt men's pride in family life a woman needs to learn to smooth out sharp corners, be able to give in, not touch pain points. It also doesn’t hurt to find out what often irritates men the most, as well as what women’s actions they generally cannot forgive.
Many women perceive the feeling of a certain impunity as the right to say and do whatever they want, as well as to achieve their goals by any means. A loving man can forgive a woman a lot if it does not go beyond certain limits. When one day such an often flexible and soft man ceases to be controllable, he greatly surprises his beloved half. Therefore, it is very important for a woman to maintain a certain line in a relationship, which cannot be crossed under any circumstances. So what will a man never forgive? A man's pride will be very much hurt by a woman's betrayal, which will be very difficult for a man to forgive. For men, their own betrayal is not comparable to that of a woman. They do not attach any importance to their betrayal, since they attribute it to a simple need for intimacy. After betrayal, they continue to consider their woman as their dearest. But with female infidelity, everything is different. Often, female infidelity is not accidental and in most cases there is sympathy, passion, search, as well as the need for affection and tenderness. By cheating, a woman makes it clear to her man that her relationship with him means nothing to her. In the case of betrayal, a man’s pride suffers greatly and, even if a man forgives, then he is unlikely to ever be able to forget the fact of betrayal and the relationship will no longer be the same as it was before.
Men cannot forgive women if they give themselves the dominant role in relationships and also put themselves above them. Whatever a man is, he wants to feel like he’s in charge and to be a protector, as well as a support. A man wants to feel more confident and stronger, even if a woman earns more and knows how to make decisions and implement them. A woman should spare a man’s pride and not take on the role of mistress of the situation in everything. Sooner or later, a man will not be able to withstand the moral burden, will oppose this and leave for someone with whom he will be confident and strong.
To maintain a relationship with a man, a woman should never compare him with others. He wants to be the best and the only one for a woman, so comparison with others humiliates him, gives rise to complexes and irritation, which can get out of control.
A woman should not emphasize her role as a housewife in the house and loudly express her husband’s shortcomings, as well as the advantages of other men. In order not to hurt a man’s pride, it is necessary not to demonstrate your intelligence and knowledge to the detriment of the image of your beloved man.
Men also do not like attempts to manipulate intimate relationships. Refusal of intimacy under the far-fetched pretext of headache and fatigue is one of the ways to push a man to cheat. And demanding the fulfillment of whims, gifts for intimacy and thus manipulating looks dishonest.
After getting married, many women relax and only try to look good before leaving the house. Over time, the husband wonders why his wife no longer wants to please him? Even if he doesn’t show it, you must not forget about it.
How to hurt a man's pride? A man's pride can be greatly hurt when a man is shown in a funny light and for him this means a lack of recognition of his worth. Women should be careful with ridicule directed at men. This is especially true for intimate opportunities, family members, appearance, and the ability to earn money.
Men do not want to “dance to a woman’s tune”, do not tolerate cliches and monotony in behavior, and cannot tolerate a commanding tone from a woman. These listed points can forever discourage men from communicating with women. Male nature will not tolerate imposing stereotypes of behavior, and will not try to fulfill all the expectations.
In order not to hurt a man’s pride, a woman needs to change behavioral stereotypes, say less “that’s how it’s supposed to be,” “that’s how everyone does it,” and try to be unpredictable. Men cannot stand a showdown, they prefer actions to words and rely on impulse, instinct, and long conversations cause irritation and can lead to a breakup. Therefore, women should not drag a man into a showdown.
A man will never tolerate his chosen one's flirting with another man. Such behavior by a woman will anger the man, and his pride will be greatly hurt.
How else to hurt a man's pride? There are still some habits of women that greatly irritate men. These include endless telephone conversations, endless TV series, a thirst for gossip, aimless shopping trips, and the habit of buying everything. Men turn a blind eye to many things and try not to focus attention or notice, but there is no need to abuse this. It is necessary to be able to stop in time, and also think about whether it is worth getting on your husband’s nerves, leading to irritation, indignation and displeasure. To maintain peace and tranquility in the family, and also for a man to respect and love a woman, it is necessary to respect and spare his pride.
Women's pride
Women's self-esteem is often so unreasonably inflated that it can be offended by anything and the fair sex immediately turns into a disgusting creature. A woman with hurt pride begins to be sarcastic, show off, and offend her interlocutor with words. Often a woman’s behavior is not controlled and she is not aware of what she is doing. This condition is very difficult to get rid of. The woman is haunted by a desire for revenge and anger in her eyes. Minor grievances and misunderstandings provoke an increase in tension in relationships and worsen interpersonal relationships. Therefore, in order to maintain a trusting, sincere, happy relationship, a woman needs to overcome, no matter how difficult it is, her hurt pride.
Psychologists note that a blow to pride is easily dealt by male infidelity. Not all women can turn a blind eye to numerous male infidelities. And no matter how hard experts try to explain the reasons for male infidelity, to show the driving motives so that women do not react to it so emotionally and painfully, nothing works.
Psychologists note that betrayal occurs as a result of weakening emotional ties between spouses, and it makes the hidden conflict obvious. According to statistics, it is the woman today who in many cases initiates divorce. A woman’s pride pushes her to take such a decisive step. Before a divorce, a woman decides for herself what is more important to her: personal pride or self-control, love, patience for a person who until recently was close and dear. Women are often indignant: why do psychologists, after their husband’s betrayal, urge them to endure it?! It turns out that the wife should, when meeting her husband from work, be charming, feed him delicious dinners, provide leisure time and also take care of the children.
And if the spouse suddenly finds out about the betrayal, then she needs to calm down, tune in to a neutral wave, visit the hairdresser, hum fashionable songs, take care of her wardrobe in order to remind her of her attractiveness. In such a situation, not every woman will want or be able to behave this way. That's why most women choose divorce. At the same time, many women are outraged by the fact that psychologists do not encourage a husband who has learned about his wife’s infidelity to take on household chores, try to regain his attractiveness, give gifts to his wife and catch her mood. As if on purpose, the wives believe, the difference between male and female is emphasized. female psychology.
Undoubtedly, it is necessary to take into account male psychology in family life, since nature has endowed the stronger sex with emotional stability, will, and all methods of re-education on the part of women often encounter resistance. Many wives would do well to use their ability to adapt, patience and affection, rather than go ahead. Many husbands cannot withstand the pressure in this situation, and cheating is often an infantile attempt at self-affirmation in the eyes of another woman. And if you begin to reproach the unfaithful spouse for immorality and selfishness, then it is only possible to push him away completely. Of course, one must take into account both the stranger and one’s own pride and not allow it to play out to its heightened limits. Therefore, perhaps, nature has endowed women with artistry, spiritual subtlety, deep warmth, the ability to see with the soul, understand, pity and empathize.
Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"
Some qualities inherent in people, initially have a lot in common, so it is not surprising that they are confused. For example, not everyone is able to distinguish self-love from self-respect. Additionally, one can mistakenly attach negative connotations to traits without realizing their meaning.
What is self-love?
Self-love is a feeling inherent in any person; full acceptance of one's own strengths and weaknesses. It is mistakenly equated with selfishness. In fact, it is precisely this that helps to achieve success, to isolate oneself from unnecessary things, to avoid dangerous situations, and not to suffer due to progressive ones.
There are many myths around self-esteem that are not sought to be debunked. Such an attitude towards oneself is often condemned and considered almost indecent. In society, people are more loyal to people with complexes than to people with complexes. The reasons—or the belief—that confident people are fixated on own desires, ignoring others, and unable to have strong feelings for others. The latter is typical for people, but the roots of such behavior do not lie in their attitude towards themselves.
Wounded pride.
Both notorious teenagers and respectable adult men and women suffer from it. The syndrome is common to those who have ego problems. It is easy to offend such people by carelessly dropping a sharp joke, criticizing their activities/appearance/choice, even looking “wrong”. Wounded pride is a strong reaction to external stimuli, manifesting itself almost instantly.
How to fight?
Stop getting angry in response to jokes; do not pay attention to phrases said specifically in order to catch your pride. A person does not become ugly or untalented because someone voiced an insult out loud - his personality does not change in any way. Words, in fact, are not offensive: offense is just a reaction to something.
You should take it easier on what others say. Someone's words do not affect the internal state. But anger, self-indulgence, resentment out of nowhere - they influence, and noticeably. Those who deliberately say offensive things are trying to throw out accumulated negativity, and almost any reaction from the defendant brings him a fair dose of negative ones. Ignoring or a neutral attitude is a proven defense that preserves nerves and composure.
What is self-esteem?
What is the difference between self-love and self-esteem?
The concepts seem similar, but there are still differences between them. The second is not capable of existing without the first - without accepting oneself externally and internally as a whole. But individual manifestations of pride do not imply self-respect - for example, wounded self-respect. This is due to selfishness, suppressed complexes and other problems.
The difference is that respect is a must. Moreover, every person has pride, which sometimes manifests itself in not the best forms. In general (not to be confused with) - much more important quality, because it implies complete acceptance of all negative and positive, working on oneself, ignoring unnecessary things.
Confusion between the terms is an understandable phenomenon, since they are considered related. However, the differences between wounded pride and self-respect are much greater than common features. The first quality should be eradicated, while the second, on the contrary, should be “nourished”. This implies not only the elimination of destructive traits, but also the development of the best ones. Helping others, treating them and yourself with respect is the key to a harmonious, happy life.
Encyclopedia of sayings“In order to love your neighbor as yourself, you must first love yourself correctly. Self-love is a distortion of love towards oneself. Self-love is the desire for the indiscriminate fulfillment of the wishes of a fallen will, guided by a false reason and an evil conscience.” St. Ignatius
The Holy Fathers distinguish three main types of pride: love of money, love of glory, love of voluptuousness, based on the words of St. ap. John about the three temptations of the world: “For whatever is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but of this world.”(). The fathers identified the love of voluptuousness with the lust of the flesh, the love of money with the lust of the eyes, and the love of glory with the pride of life.
Should a Christian love himself?
Love is one of the essential Divine properties (see more details:). This means that God from eternity abides in Love for Himself. To put it differently, all the Divines are in mutual, heartfelt love, and at the same time, Each of Them nourishes love towards Himself.
Man is created in the image and likeness of God (see:). The ability to love is one of the features of this heavenly image.
Therefore, there is nothing reprehensible in a person’s love for himself, however, if we are talking about love in the correct understanding of the word, and not about a proud, selfish feeling, pride.
A person’s love for his own personality is not only allowed by God, but is also elevated by Him to a model of love for: “love your neighbor as yourself” ().
But what does the expression “love yourself” mean? To love oneself is to live the fullness of a God-like life, to love life itself as Divine, to have joy in the Lord, to strive to fulfill one’s highest purpose. If God loves a person, then does the person himself really have the right to treat himself with dislike (acting in defiance of the Almighty)?
There are many similarities between love for oneself and love for one’s neighbor(s), in particular the following.
Just as love for one’s neighbor implies the desire for his happiness, so love for oneself implies movement towards happiness. After all, man was created for, and not short-term, as is the case in the conditions of present life, but for the eternal and incessant.
The path to this bliss lies through the introduction of one’s life to the life of the Universe, to the life of Christ. He who does not strive for eternal happiness in the Lord does not love himself.
Thus, loving yourself means (among other things) doing what contributes to the eternal blissful life. This is facilitated by fulfillment, love for God and His creation.
Just as the love of one person for another is associated with the desire to protect him and not lose him, so love for oneself implies the desire not to lose oneself for the eternal Kingdom of Heaven: “whoever loses his soul for the sake of Me and the Gospel will save it” ().
Just as love in general implies, so self-love requires taking up your cross and following Christ ().
The commandment “love your neighbor as yourself” () indicates that ideally, love for one’s neighbor should not be inferior to the love that a person has for himself.
This rejects the idea of self-love as self-love, because self-love implies the opposite: a selfish, and often disdainful attitude towards people.
