Let's talk about our desires. Is desire itself a sin? No. We can desire something strongly and still not sin. For example, wanting to do the will of God. Is it bad? “I desire to do Your will, O my God, and Your law is in my heart.”(Ps. 39:9) . But the desire, or more precisely, the object of desire, may be chosen incorrectly.
To desire what belongs to another while feeling a strong sense of annoyance is called envy. It is not just a desire to have something, but a desire to have it only because someone else has it. This is already a sin. Envy is something that can never be satisfied. You can be very rich and still want what the poor have. Remember the parable that the prophet Nathan told David about a rich man who spared his sheep for a stranger and took a sheep from a poor man (2 Sam. 12:1-4). Or another story about King Ahab, who, being rich, coveted a vineyard that belonged to another person, and because of this he committed murder (1 Kings 21).
The desire to have wealth is not a sin. It is bad when a person thinks that happiness and joy lie in earthly wealth. Jesus warns his listeners: “At the same time he said to them: Take heed and beware of covetousness, for a person’s life does not depend on the abundance of his possessions.”(Luke 12:15). The writer of Hebrews warns: “Have a disposition that does not love money, being content with what you have. For He Himself said: I will never leave you nor forsake you.”(13:5). Envy is a work of the flesh. We cannot cope with the flesh on our own, but God will help us cope with the flesh. “For if you live according to the flesh, you will die, but if you put to death the deeds of the flesh in the spirit, then you will be alive"(Rom. 8:13). Without the Holy Spirit you cannot deal with the flesh. If only the Spirit of God lives in you. Pray and ask God for help from the temptation of envy. “Likewise the Spirit also helps us in our weaknesses; for we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings that cannot be expressed.”(Rom. 8:26). Humble yourself and the Lord will strengthen you. "God! You hear the desires of the humble; strengthen their heart; open your ear"(Ps. 9:38) .
It happens that a sincere desire to help a neighbor turns into sadness and pain for the one they want to help. An example can be seen in the book of Job. Job's three friends, Bildad, Eliphaz and Zophar (elders in age) sincerely wanted to help Job. They told him the right words about punishment for sins. That we must turn to God, repent, and God will bind up Job’s wounds. Good, correct words, a sincere desire to help and console. But the reason for Job's suffering is not his sins. In the eyes of God, Job was a blameless, righteous man. “And the Lord said to Satan: Have you paid attention to my servant Job? for there is no one like him on earth: a blameless, just, fearing God and shunning evil.”(Job 1:8).
God tested Job's faithfulness, this is the reason for his (Job's) suffering. Friends, with their “correct” advice, only increased Job’s suffering. “Are you making up diatribes? You are throwing your words into the wind. You attack an orphan and dig a hole for your friend. But please, look at me; Shall I speak a lie before you?”(Job 6:26-28).
For all our actions, for all our words, we will give an answer to God. Are we giving wise advice or foolish ones? And from stupidity it’s a stone’s throw to sin: “The thought of stupidity is a sin...”(Prov. 24:9) So, not every desire is a sin. Our problems begin when we are not led by desires, but desires are led by us. “Plant the path for your feet, and let all your ways be established.”(Prov. 4:26)
Igor Olefira
One day I got into the car, put the car in gear and hit a concrete vat with a flourish, that is, excuse me, a future flowerbed that the city landscapers had erected right in the middle of the yard for beauty.
“Replacement of the steering rod,” said the car mechanic, listening to the squealing noise coming from under the hood.
All business for an hour.
“He’s a good guy,” the car service director sighed, “a mechanic from God.” Hands are golden. It's a shame, he'll spend his whole life tinkering with other people's cars.
Drinks? - I guessed.
Worse. You can stop drinking. And this one is simply happy with everything. Doesn't want to grow.
I don’t want to,” confirmed the mechanic from God.
Sit here, girl, now we’ll do everything. He worked, humming a song about high-rise erectors and from time to time addressing the machine as “poor wounded girl” and “well, well, my beauty.”
When everything was ready, the mechanic wiped his hands with a rag and said:
Come on, my dear, go to the mistress. Try not to offend her anymore.
“When you open your service, I’ll be your first client,” I joked, wanting to please the master.
Why the hell do I need my own service? - the master was amazed.
Well, of course. If you were a boss, if you worked for yourself... You could do it.
“Probably,” the master shrugged.
But I don't need it. I'm fine as it is.
Is your girlfriend okay with this too? - I asked impudently.
And this is the owner's business. I do not care.
Doesn’t want to grow, I remembered. Everything suits him. What a pity... Stop. You cook well, probably want to open a restaurant someday?
You write well, are you thinking of writing a book? You have good fitness abilities, how do you intend to develop them? I hear this quite often. And most often people say this sincerely.
Well, with the exception of a guy with a fitness background who wants to sell me a bucket of dietary supplements and a carload of sports nutrition. Yes, we all hear it: you can achieve anything, you can achieve any goals, you will make any of your dreams come true. A book, a restaurant, a “Fitness Bikini” competition at forty years old - nothing is impossible! Uh-uh, you say timidly, I don’t need any of this.
I just bake pies, tell stories and grow geraniums on the balcony.
But you can do more! You can make a career! Take it to the next level! You just don’t believe in yourself, you just need to stop being afraid. Yes, I'm not afraid. I just don’t want to go to another level - I’m fine here too. I like my life, my geraniums and my pies. There is no such law that everyone strives for the top. And what kind of peaks are these anyway?
Who erected them and why do I absolutely need to climb them? Really, why? It's not even a question of the price I'll inevitably pay for social climbing. This is a question of common sense: why should I go somewhere if I feel good where I am? The worst sin modern society- be happy with what you have. Lack of ambition and ambition is considered something of a social disability: how is it possible not to strive for more? Make the most of your appearance. Realize your potential. Can't you do anything special?
Go to courses on motivation, try everything, find it, come up with it in the end, and then implement it anyway. Go forward, overcome yourself, set goals for yourself and achieve them. Why do you still live in a small apartment on the outskirts and wear sneakers from five years ago? At your age, it’s time to earn money for an expensive car, diamonds and Chanel! Didn't work? Are you focused on something else? On personal growth? For charity? On creativity? No? So you are a stupid lazy cow with an empty, aimless life. You will never succeed.
No, of course, success is not necessarily money, power and fame. Success can be anything at all if you persist in being the best in your field. Okay, one of the best. Well, at least you strive for this. The main thing is not victory, the main thing is participation in the race along the social and professional ladder. If you run, it means you are successful. If you try to achieve it, it means you are human. I don't want to run. I don't want to achieve anything.
I want to pick strawberries, make jam and darn socks. I have no need for self-realization through a career; well-risen dough and successful pies are quite enough for my ego. Yes, there are people who are trying to change the world.
They have dreams, they have ambitions, they are ambitious, they fall and they rise, and they are the heroes of our time. Actually, they are heroes of any time. And there are others who simply live.
Every day they go to work, go on vacation, barbecue at the dacha. Raising children. They buy cars on credit. And they have the audacity to be satisfied with their life, which in the paradigm of our society seems to be not life at all, but just vegetation. No goal, no motivation. Without a dream. Loading... No, dear heroes. Such people have everything. Going to the sea, paying off the mortgage, knitting a sweater - what’s not a goal? For those you love to be healthy and prosperous is not a dream?
Why is it so hard to believe that anyone doesn't need diamonds? That someone could be happy with their small apartment on the outskirts? What does someone need to be happy in the small, poor world in which he lives? You don't have to be the best to be happy. Sometimes just being is enough.
And who said that the gift of accepting this world and this life as they are is worthy of less respect than the gift of moving mountains and launching rockets? He just doesn't want to grow up, the auto repair shop director said about the guy who sang to my car.
But in my opinion, he has just grown up - enough to honestly say: I won’t run just because everyone else has run. I won't fix what isn't broken. I am happy here and now, and if someone thinks that this is wrong, well, that’s the owner’s business. I do not care…
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Contentment
After Moses left Egypt, he enjoyed staying with Raguel:
21 Moses liked to live with the man; and he gave his daughter Zipporah to Moses.
(Exodus 2:21).
« Liked" is a translation of the Hebrew word ya'al meaning “to be pleased with (something).”
Moses heard something and approved:
20 And Moses heard and approved.
(Lev 10:20).
« Approved" in this text is a translation of the Hebrew word ayin, which means “eye” and, by analogy, eyebrows, face, facial expression. The meaning of Leviticus 10:20 is that Moses raised his eyebrows in approval of what was said.
A jealous person will not be pleased even with many gifts:
34 For jealousy is the wrath of a man, and he will not spare on the day of vengeance,
35 He will not accept any ransom and will not be satisfied, no matter how many gifts you multiply.
(Proverbs 6:34-35).
« Will be satisfied" in this verse is a translation of the Hebrew word abah, which literally means “to yearn (for someone or something)”; “hope”, and figuratively – “desire”, “agree”.
It is very difficult to gain the pleasure of a jealous person with gifts or actions aimed at overcoming his jealousy. In the New Testament, Paul often spoke about the need to be content and satisfied. He said about himself that he had learned to be content in any condition or situation:
11 I say this not because I am in need, for I have learned to be content with what I have.
12 I know how to live in poverty, and I know how to live in abundance; I learned everything and in everything, to be satisfied and to endure hunger, to be both in abundance and in shortage.
(Phil 4:11-12).
« Satisfied" is the translation of the Greek word autarkes(autos – “himself”; arkeo – “satisfied”; “sufficient”). This word can be defined as “self-sufficient”; "sufficient in oneself."
This does not mean that Paul was self-sufficient without Christ and God. The context of this passage clearly demonstrates Paul's next point. He did not worry about life’s circumstances because he was with the Lord. He could achieve anything in Christ:
13 I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me.
(Phil 4:13).
No matter what obstacles stood in Paul's way, he did not worry, but showed contentment and satisfaction! The same root word is used in 1 Timothy 6:6, where Paul said, “It is great gain to be godly and content (autarkeia).”
When a person has godliness, that is, lives in accordance with the commandments of God, he can not depend on circumstances. He does not have to worry about what is happening in the world around him, because he relies on God!
8 Having food and clothing, let us be content.
(1 Tim 6:8).
Have you ever thought that no matter how much we have, we always want more? And it is natural that a person wants to be richer, healthier and more successful. And it is very rare to find a person who will say: “ No, I don't want more, I'm happy with what I have».
Most likely, a believer will answer this way. Faith makes a person be happy with the things and situation that befall him. Through faith, a person can fully enjoy the blessings of his life and gain the pleasure of Allah.
When a person is overwhelmed by troubles and shows patience and contentment and does not complain about his suffering, he is a true believer. Naturally, we do not imply that those who want to be richer, healthier and more successful are not believers. Strive for the best, but be happy with what you have. Dissatisfaction is a lack of understanding of faith. Contentment does not mean that a person does not strive for better or does not feel pain, it means the manifestation of patience and awareness of the will of the Almighty.
The virtue of contentment is closely related to the virtue of trust in Allah. When a person is content with what he has and does not show envy or hatred towards others, Allah will not allow him to fail and a great reward awaits him.
The Dignity of Contentment
With contentment, a person finds inner peace and becomes spiritually higher. When he cultivates this quality in himself, he loves others and will be loved by others. He does not compare himself with those who have better conditions, but rather remembers those who are less fortunate.
If contentment reigned in society, then there would be no room left for greedy and envious people. Contentment will lead to Paradise in eternal life.
Contentment will bring you closer to Allah in this world and the Hereafter. If a person is content, he will not experience psychological problems such as depression, anxiety, anxiety. When a person is dissatisfied, Satan will build a path to his heart. Contentment protects the heart from the penetration of the shaitan, and it will be busy trying to please Allah Almighty.
How to learn to be content
- Don't despair about everything. If you, for example, lost your job, don't despair. This means that the money you could have earned is not destined for you. Your rizq will come to you from other sources.
- Cleanse your heart. Always think about what can bring you closer to Allah. Stop worrying about little things.
- Think about the reward that awaits you in the hereafter. Allah said: “Everything that has been given to you is just a transitory blessing of worldly life and its decoration, but with Allah is something more beautiful and lasting. Don’t you understand?” (28:60).
- Think about today. Be happy with what you have now.
- Learn to notice the positive aspects even in the bad. For example, a person had an accident, but survived, and he complains that the car is in obscene condition, but does not appreciate the fact that he survived.
- And the key to happiness lies in the phrase: “Everything is the will of Allah, and it will be as He wishes.” This is how we realize the power and authority of Allah and accept His divine predestination.
Chloe Carmichael - with a successful private practice in New York City. She specializes in relationship issues, stress management and career coaching. She received her PhD in clinical psychology from Long Island University and is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dr. Chloe’s 10 Commandments of Dating” (“Dr. Chloe’s 10 Commandments of Dating”).
Number of sources used in this article: . You will find a list of them at the bottom of the page.
In a world where the words “more” and “better” are so often emphasized, it is difficult to be satisfied with what you have. We feel a lot of pressure to have the perfect relationship, the most precious things, and an orderly life. However, there are so many things to be grateful for in your unique daily life. To be content with what you have in this moment, develop positive thinking, interact with other people and be unpretentious.
Steps
Develop positive thinking
- Try writing down one thing for each letter of the alphabet (a through z) that you are grateful for.
- If you want to express gratitude to other people, write them notes with kind words.
- For example, you find that you sometimes accidentally interrupt people. If so, make a conscious effort to change the behavior.
- For example, you decide to change your political position regarding taxes after hearing several strong arguments that we had not thought about before.
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See things from a different perspective. Trying to look at seemingly negative situations in a positive light can help you change your thought processes over time. This will likely help you feel more fulfilled because you will notice the positive things in people, events and situations in your life.
Recognize that more is not better. Think about the rich people you know and those who are not so lucky. There are many people on our planet who are deprived of what you have, but who still manage to have a positive outlook on life. There are also many people who are endowed with many blessings, but who experience dissatisfaction with life. Keep this in mind if you think you need more things to be happy.
Interact with other people
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Invest in friendship. Research has shown that having several close friends significantly increases people's optimism and life satisfaction. Contact your friends often and suggest ways to spend time together. Make a conscious effort to prioritize spending time with friends. The closeness that comes from investing in friendship will provide you with support and positive experiences.
Accept your loved ones for who they are. Perhaps you want your spouse to be more organized or your child to be more athletic. Try not to get too hung up on what you want to change about the people you love. This can cause tension and dissatisfaction in the relationship. It is better to accept your loved ones as they are.
Don't compare yourself to others. Most people you come into contact with are on a different path or at a different stage in life than you. Try to enjoy other people's happiness, achievements and success, and not compare them with your own. This way you will become less bitter and envious, and also gain greater peace of mind.
Keep in mind that people often keep silent about negativity in in social networks. Scrolling through all these happy faces and fun adventures on VK, Instagram and other social networks, you can easily start to feel jealous. Try to remember that every person goes through both positive and negative moments, even if you only see the beautiful side of their life on social media.
Volunteer to help others. Helping other people will boost your morale and give you a sense of self-worth. If you work hard day after day, it can be difficult to understand the meaning of everything you do. Volunteering for those in need can often make the effort you put in more visible. This feeling of meaning will give you more satisfaction in life.
- For example, you might feel a sense of self-worth by volunteering at a soup kitchen. Your contribution here is obvious: you feed those who are hungry and who have no food.
Be unpretentious
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Include intangible joys in your life. Start by making a list of all the things you love that don't require an investment. Return to this list often and try to add one or more things every day.
- The list might include: love, laughter, faith, family, long walks, nature, and more.
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Buy what you need, not what you want. Financial difficulties often lead to an unhappy life. Of course, it's not easy to get to a position where money isn't an issue at all, but you can relieve stress by living within your means. Instead of just buying everything you want, think about every purchase and basically buy only what you need to live a comfortable life.
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Practice daily gratitude. Write in a gratitude journal every day to consistently recognize all the wonderful things in your life. Whether you write a full page or just a sentence a day, this activity will help you feel fulfilled by shining a light on all the positive aspects in your life.
EXPERT ADVICE
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Chloe Carmichael is a licensed clinical psychologist with a successful private practice in New York City. She specializes in relationship issues, stress management and career coaching. She received her PhD in clinical psychology from Long Island University and is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dr. Chloe’s 10 Commandments of Dating” (“Dr. Chloe’s 10 Commandments of Dating”).
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Practicing gratitude should not be a substitute for problem solving.. Dr. Chloe Carmichael, a licensed clinical psychologist, says, “While practicing gratitude can be very helpful, be sure to focus on the issues that deserve your attention. For example, if you are in a relationship with someone who is constantly cheating on you, and you want to resolve the issue by focusing only on positive qualities partner, then this will be denial of the problem, and this is counterproductive.”
Be willing to change. Those who change at least one of their attitudes or behaviors every few months are more likely to look to the future with hope and positivity than those who do not. Typically, these people claim to be in a good mood most of the time. Keep in mind that you can't grow without changing, and try to approach changes in life with open arms to feel more fulfilled overall.
