How to make the right decision. How to make the right decision? Which decision is correct? The world through the prism of beliefs

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Hello! In this article we will tell you how to make the right decision when in doubt.

Every day we make several decisions a day, starting from choosing a menu for breakfast and ending with our social circle. Most of our decisions are harmless and cannot radically change our lives, but there are also those on which our entire future life completely depends. In difficult situations, we often begin to doubt ourselves and the correctness of our decision, rush between several options and waste a lot of time and energy instead of taking action.

How to make the right decision in life

Making decisions - real science. However, there is nothing supernatural in it; every person can quickly and correctly learn to make decisions. It is enough to have the courage to take responsibility for your life in own hands and adhere to several rules and methods.

There are several ways to make decisions:

heuristic(based on feelings and intuition)
algorithm(based on informed decisions, study of information and analysis).

Ideally, there should be harmony between rational thinking and intuition.

In addition, the manner in which you solve problems largely depends on your personality type and temperament. Thus, extroverts prefer not to think for a long time, but to immediately begin to act, while introverts analyze a lot and can “freeze” for a long time before making a decision. Both of these strategies can fail: the extrovert will end up messing things up, and the introvert will remain stuck in the problem and wait for it to resolve itself.

Basic rules for decision making

There are some rules that you should follow if you are in doubt while making a decision.

Remember your life priorities and stick to them strictly. Think about what is really important to you and why you work, study, etc. Often values and priorities are artificially replaced by society.
For example, The principle of “money for money’s sake” is becoming fashionable. When applying for a job, think about what you really value and why are you doing it? If you value your family and communication with your children very much, a highly paid job with constant overtime may simply not be suitable for you. By keeping your attention on the main thing, making decisions becomes much easier.
Try it if possible. You can think endlessly about what would happen if you went and did something, or you can just try and then make a decision.
Eg If you dream of becoming a famous graphic designer, apply for an internship at an advertising agency. By looking at your dream job from the inside, it will be much easier to make a decision.
Limit your options. You should have a choice, but remember that the abundance of options does not help, but, on the contrary, makes it difficult to make a decision.
Come up with an algorithm of actions if a certain situation occurs.
Eg, if you started your own business, but after a year it has not started generating income, you stop investing in an unprofitable enterprise. Such “backup” algorithms allow you to calculate risks and insure yourself in case of an unfavorable course of the situation.
Seek advice from loved ones and more experienced people. It is important to be able to process these tips. Of course, outside opinions and information received are very important. However, do not forget that sometimes people give advice by projecting their own fears and failures onto your life. Be careful and don't be influenced by other people's opinions.
State the problem several times. Seeking advice is useful not so much to hear advice as to talk through the situation. When we repeat our question several times, already at the moment of speaking, new unexpected thoughts and ideas come to us.
Stop thinking and analyzing and just act. Sometimes we have nothing to lose in a given situation, so why waste your time and energy thinking about it? Wherever there are no losses, act immediately and decisively.
Postpone your decision until tomorrow. Sometimes weighing and making a decision is much easier with a fresh mind. In addition, sometimes it is useful to rely on your subconscious and ask yourself exciting question for the night. Perhaps the first thought that comes to mind immediately after waking up will turn out to be the right option.
Limit the time for making a decision. The law of forced efficiency comes into force.
Rely not only on your experience, but also on current changes in the situation.
If you have made decisions, act immediately!

What should you not do?

Don't turn off your intuition. It’s still worth listening to your body and “signs from above.”
Do not delay in making a decision and implementing it. Otherwise, you will remain stuck with the problem.
Never regret the decisions you make. Remember that there is no ideal course of action. Everything that happens to us happens for a reason and is already the most correct decision. Maybe if we had made a different decision, there would have been a lot more problems?
Do not abuse advice and do not ask everyone.
Don't shift responsibility for your life to someone else.
Don't be led by your emotions.

Eliminating emotions

Before making a decision, it is very important to get rid of interfering emotions: fear, nervousness, excitement, etc. Such emotions prevent you from concentrating on the main thing, constantly draw attention to minor details and do not allow you to adequately look at the situation.

Fear

In order to get rid of fear, you need to very vividly imagine the worst case scenario. Of course, it will be greatly exaggerated, but replaying a frightening moment in your imagination will allow you to touch your own fear and prepare for possible problems on the way to your goal.

Breath

No matter how trivial it may be, deep and slow abdominal breathing will help get rid of interfering arousal. You need to breathe deeply with your stomach, while your chest practically does not move. Take 10 slow breaths in and out, holding your breath slightly for 5-7 slow counts.

Wait

Just wait. Momentary impulses and desires are not always worthy of immediate implementation. Sometimes they pass as quickly as they appear in our heads. It’s better to wait until the wave of excitement and emotions subsides than to do something stupid.

Stay focused

Try to be here and now as much as possible at the moment of making a decision. Stop being distracted by external factors and various little things. If necessary, retreat and be alone. Plunge into the problem headlong and concentrate on it.

Rule 10/10/10

To cool down your ardor, sometimes it’s enough to ask yourself three questions:

How will I feel about my decision in 10 minutes?
In 10 months?
After 10 years?

While doing this practice, try to remain as honest with yourself as possible.

Remember this state when a friend turns to us for advice. We clearly see the situation and do not pay attention to various little things. Try to look at your problem from the outside and give yourself adequate advice.

Ideal "I"

Choose the ideal one from the proposed options. Try not to think about what you want. Our desires do not always benefit us.

Decision making methods

Throughout its existence, humanity has come up with many ways to make the right decision. But before you begin to get acquainted with these methods, you need to understand what the correct solution consists of:

Information. These are dry facts without emotional coloring and information distortions.
Selectivity in information. Not all facts should be taken on faith or projected onto your life.
Concentration on the problem and its solution.
Experience. Mostly your own, but the experience of loved ones is also very valuable.
Flexibility and ability to adapt to changing situations.
An adequate assessment of what is happening.
Consistency in decision making and subsequent actions.

Avoid restrictions and boundaries

People tend to choose between two extremes: "Yes" or "No". Should I buy a car on credit or not? Divorce or not? To quit or not? We drive ourselves into the framework of a difficult choice, while the true answer to the question may be hidden in the middle or lie on a different plane altogether.

For example, someone wants to buy a car on credit, but is hesitant because he does not want to go into debt. Perhaps the question should simply be put differently and buy a cheaper car, rent an apartment closer to work, or even find a job near your current place of residence.

Try to think more broadly and avoid yes/no boxes.

Dream Diary

Imagine the goal in all its colors and your future life when you achieve it. Answer the following questions:

How will I feel?
Why do I need this?
Will I become more confident in myself?
What opportunities will open up for me?

Describe your fantasies in detail in a diary, answer questions and re-read the entries every day. At first you won't believe what you read, but over time your subconscious mind will accept the new picture.

In addition, a clear vision of your own dreams and goals helps you make decisions. The main thing is to always remember why you wake up in the morning.

Expand your choice

Don't get attached to the first option you come across. Check out other alternative solutions. What if it turns out that there are much better and more profitable options? However, you should not expand the choice to an unlimited number of options. Remember that this will only make it more difficult to solve the problem.

Disappearance

Imagine that the option you chose suddenly disappeared. What will you do in this case?

This method allows you to get rid of attachment to one specific decision and get out of the dead end of thinking.

Search for information

Study thoroughly everything related to the problem and ways to solve it. Reading reviews on the Internet has become a common ritual before purchasing a product or service. But for some reason, not everyone does the same when choosing a university or a new place of work.

Research the issue on the Internet and, if possible, communicate with those who worked or studied at this institution. This will already half protect you from making the wrong choice.

In addition, you can ask questions directly during the interview. Do not specify what bonuses the company can offer and whether there are additional “goodies” for employees. It’s better to ask who was in this position before, how many people left this vacancy and why, where they are now and how you can contact them. The answers to these questions will already be enough to make an informed decision.

If it is difficult to make a decision, you can use the Descartes square method. To do this, draw a square on a piece of paper and divide it into four more squares with two lines. In the upper left square, write everything that you will get by making this decision, and in the right - everything that you will get by not making it. In the lower squares, respectively, are everything that you will not get if you make this decision, and everything that you will not get if you do not make it.

After you finish writing all the pros and cons of this solution, all that remains is to calculate their ratio and quantity:

Subtract the number of minuses from the number of pluses in the upper right square.
Carry out the same operation with the left column of the square.
Make a decision.

Three Question Method

There is a theory that before making a decision you need to ask yourself three times. The first time the answer will come based on emotions, the second time - on the basis of logic, and the third answer will be the closest to the truth.

Try on different hats

You can make a decision in game form. To do this, imagine that you have seven hats of different colors and each of them can radically change the way you think:

Red- makes you excitable and emotional;
Lilac- allows you to always remain rational;
Blue- includes intuition;
Black- makes you see only the negative and pass everything through the prism of a defeatist attitude;
Pink- makes you overly self-confident and incapable of self-criticism;
Orange— generates impossible projects and makes fantastic plans;
White - gives wisdom.

Try on all the hats and try to derive the average from the entire stream of thoughts and feelings.

Eliminating uninteresting options

You can make a choice from several alternatives using the elimination method. Remove the most unattractive option out there. Then remove another one and another one. Continue eliminating undesirable options until one option remains.

Lesser of evils

Our choices are not always associated with pleasant things. Sometimes, no matter what we choose, the consequences will not be very pleasant. What to do in this case? Accept the situation as it is and try to choose what will be least unpleasant for you.

PMI method

The abbreviation PMI can be deciphered as Plus, Minus, Interesting . Make a table with three columns. In the first, write down all the possible advantages of the decision made, in the second - the disadvantages, and in the third - just all the interesting remarks, nuances and comments that are neither pros nor cons.

This plate will help you visualize all the advantages and disadvantages of the decision made and once again weigh the pros and cons.

Practice five guiding questions

Let's assume you have already chosen a solution for your problem. How to check whether you are moving in the right direction and whether it is worth changing it? The five question method will help you with this:

Do I want this (to become someone/do something/have something)? If the answer is yes, we continue asking questions.
If I do this (become someone/do something/acquire something), will I remain in harmony with myself, the world, the Universe and God (for believers)? If yes, then we continue.
If I do this, will it bring me closer to my dream? Yes? Let's continue.
If I do this, will it violate anyone's rights? If not, then you can ask yourself one last question.
If I do this, will it make me or anyone else better?

If you have reached the last question and the answer is yes, you can safely assume that you are on the right track.

Algorithm for independent decision making

To learn how to make decisions on your own, take a piece of paper and a pen.

Write on a piece of paper exactly what your problem is.
List the reasons why it needs to be addressed.
Describe in detail the desired outcome of events.
Write down all possible solutions to the issue and actions that need to be taken.
Analyze your answers, relate them to current opportunities and start taking action.

How to decide on a job?

As you prepare to leave your job or have multiple jobs to choose from, think about your life priorities and values. If your family is at the forefront of everything, it is wrong to choose a job with long working hours and constant delays at work, even if you get good pay for it.

In this case, it would be a good idea to ask a friend for help. After all, real risks and imaginary fears are always better visible from the outside. If you don't have anyone to ask, try giving yourself advice yourself. Try to turn off your emotions, because changing jobs can change your life for both the worse and the better.

How to decide on divorce?

If family life has cracked and everything is bad, sometimes thoughts of divorce may flash through. Don't rush to cut from the shoulder. Wait until your emotions calm down and your head becomes clear. It may be a good idea to live apart from your spouse for a little while.

Do not rush to turn to loved ones for advice. If you later change your mind and make peace with your husband or wife, your loved ones will condemn him/her, consider him/her an enemy and put a spoke in your wheels. Besides, personal life one of those areas of life where decisions should remain solely yours, so that you don’t bitterly regret later that you blindly listened to someone’s advice.

Remember to avoid narrow boundaries and radical solutions. Perhaps the question “To divorce or not?” put incorrectly and there are other solutions, for example: sort out the relationship, work through grievances, have a heart-to-heart talk, improve relationships or contact a family psychologist.

If you understand that you are much better off separately than in an alliance with your partner, and the relationship cannot be restored, perhaps it is worth getting a divorce rather than fighting for a destructive relationship that no one needs.

How can I help you make a decision?

Every person is the master of his own life. Therefore, give others the opportunity to build their own lives, win and make mistakes. If you see that your loved one doubts himself, give him the opportunity to make his own decision and do not interfere with unsolicited advice. Of course, if you are asked for advice, you can express your opinion and say what you would do, but no more. You have no right to make decisions for another person or take responsibility for their life.

What prevents us from making adequate decisions? (Dan Gilbert)

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When we, to some extent, influence our destiny. And, of course, they are interested in making the choice optimal. That's why it's important to use different tools to help predict positive and Negative consequences making one decision or another.

Why do people make bad decisions?

This is not such a simple question if you think about it. You can, of course, get away with the banal: “People are stupid.” But even smart, talented, experienced people make bad decisions. That's why:

Lack of time
Relying on a single source of information
Emotional experiences
A large number of thoughts about the problem
Failure to notice alternatives and new opportunities
Lack of knowledge and clarity
Underestimating the amount of time needed to make the right decision
Reassessment of your own skills, knowledge, abilities and resources
Fear of making the wrong decision

All these barriers prevent you from making the right decision. And if they work in tandem, trio or quartet, then the situation gets even worse. How to overcome them?

Practice 360-degree thinking

Thoughts influence emotions, emotions influence decisions, and decisions influence actions. And each link in this chain can be optimally configured.

360-degree thinking consists of three critical components, which are also methods. They can be used to effectively analyze a situation, after which it becomes easier to make the right decision.

These are the components:

A look into the past.
Foresight.
Insight.

By using all three of these thinking methods, you view your life from a 360-degree perspective. That is, they work best together.

A look into the past

Looking into the past (aka retrospective analysis) will help you critically evaluate your past. This allows you to comprehensively understand a situation that has already occurred in order to improve your future decisions.

It is useful because it helps you learn from mistakes, problems, failures and past successes. As a result of this learning experience, you can adjust your course of action to move forward much faster.

If you don't know or have never done self-reflection, then this is a very suitable case. Take time to review the decisions you made yesterday. Ask yourself:

What did I do yesterday?
What decisions did I make?
What problems did you encounter?
How did I deal with these problems?
How did I deal with the problems that arose when I encountered a problem?
How does this make me feel?
From what other point of view can I look at my yesterday's problems?
What can I learn from yesterday's experience?
What could I have done differently?
What do I need to improve to deal with this problem more effectively next time?

Please note, this is not simply scrolling through negative thoughts (which is what you usually do), but self-reflection. You ask yourself the right questions, give answers and figure out what you can do better next time. Now you are more aware of what decisions you are making and in what state you are making.

From now on, you will begin to approach your problems and decision-making more consciously, and not on autopilot. Next time there is a greater chance of doing everything right. In other words, you drew the right conclusions from past experience - this is what all successful people do.

It should be remembered that you should not use the past to make decisions in the future. Each situation is unique in its own way. What works today may not work tomorrow. But the process of self-reflection itself is very useful because it forces you to reflect on your thinking, actions and decisions.

Foresight

Foresight is the ability to predict future events, changes, trends and the consequences of one's actions. Moreover, it is the ability to explore alternative scenarios that could potentially unfold.

This mindset is useful because it helps you see and predict what might be ahead. Therefore, you will be better able to identify opportunities and make much less mistakes when making decisions.

Foresight works great in tandem with hindsight. This way, you can use the past as a barometer to predict the future and therefore make better decisions.

Developing foresight requires learning to successfully address potential threats and identify your needs early. This is planning, as well as gathering the necessary resources that will help in the future.

Ask yourself the following questions:

How will this decision affect the future?
How will this decision affect my future decisions?
What are the consequences of making this decision?
What options will I have after making this decision?
What problems will arise?
What if everything goes wrong? How will I react?
What is my plan B and C?
What happens if...?

Foresight is not exact science. It's more of a game where you try to use a combination of lessons learned from the past and ideas from the present to make the best decision.

By considering these two factors, you can generate possible future scenarios that will help you make better decisions.

Insight

Insight is the ability to discern the true nature of a situation. This is the ability to understand your situation, as well as cause-and-effect relationships. In other words, we're talking about about gaining an accurate understanding of the people, events and circumstances in your life.

Insight is often the catalyst for creativity, innovation and inspiration. This is what brings out those “Eureka!” moments, when all the puzzle pieces suddenly come together into something that makes sense. It's like you've come out of a fog and are now finally seeing things in a whole new way that opens up a world of new possibilities.

However, it is worth saying that the ideas that come to your mind are nothing more than an interpretation of reality based on past experiences, as well as perceptions and expectations of the future. In short, real insight only comes when you have mastered the other two ways of thinking.

The best entrepreneurs and politicians in the world have this skill. To master it, you need to read a lot, understand people and be curious. But even this is not enough. You need to learn to understand your thinking patterns, get rid of cognitive distortions, be in a conscious state and see the essence of things. In a sense, we are talking about intuition.

Start by becoming more observant of what is happening around and within you. Notice the world and ask deep questions about yourself, others, and the circumstances in which you find yourself. For example:

Why do I do what I do? Why does this matter to me?
What do others need? Why is this important to them?
What's happening? Why is this happening? What does it mean?
What is the problem? How did this become a problem? Why is it still a problem?
Why are the circumstances the way they are and not others?
How did this happen and why does it matter?
What is the value of knowing this? How does this knowledge change my perspective?
What's another way to look at this situation? Why is it important?
Why did this happen? What led to this? What happened before this? Is there a connection?
How are these two events related? Why are they connected in this way?
How was this done? Who did it? Could it have been different?

If you start asking these and similar questions, you will become very attentive and observant. Tyrion Lannister, if you like, who often asked himself what others needed and carefully analyzed the events of his life and the world around him.

You will learn to understand why things are the way they are and how they could potentially be different. In fact, you cease to be a passive observer. As a result, you begin to think critically about yourself, about others, and about the circumstances with which you are dealing. All this stimulates the emergence of deeper thoughts, allowing you to draw conclusions in situations that you have never considered before. This opens up new levels of understanding.

There are situations when the solution lies on the surface, you just need to extend your hand. Others are complex and consist of many factors. To make the right decision, you need to use 360-degree thinking, looking at the problem from all sides. It won’t happen right away, but certain results will be visible after the first use of this technique.

Practice step-by-step decision making process

Step One: Get Clear on What You Want

Your first step is to clearly understand your desired outcome and identify the resources needed to achieve that outcome. Ask yourself:

What is my desired outcome?
What exactly would I like to achieve?
What might be required to achieve this result?
How should I prioritize my efforts?

Understanding what result you want to achieve is important because it (understanding) helps direct all efforts towards achieving one goal. Then you will be able to make more effective decisions.

Step Two: Take Action to Achieve desired result

When you don't quite understand how to get to your desired destination, it's easy to panic. However, the important thing is that you take the first step.

You only need to take one step that will move you a little closer to your desired result. There is likely still a lot of fog ahead, but it is clear that this action is necessary. For example, if you're looking to buy a car and are completely overwhelmed by the number of options, your first step might be to read car-specific forums. By learning to understand the topic, you can make a more informed decision.

In any complex decision, there are always several actions that you can start with. At some point you will make progress and the next steps will become more obvious.

Step Three: Track Your Results

You should always be vigilant about what works and what doesn't work. There is no point in wasting valuable time on ineffective tools.

However, to start measuring progress, you need to understand what exactly you will be measuring. Ask yourself the following questions:

How will I know I'm moving in the right direction?
How exactly will I measure my progress?
How will I know that I have achieved my goal?

The more clarity you have about where you are in the process, the better the decision.

Step Four: Stay Flexible in Your Decision Making

The action plan will always be reworked, because it is impossible to predict all the factors in this absurd world. Therefore, you must be flexible in your decisions and actions at all times. Keep your long-term goals in mind at all times to help you stay on track.

Ask yourself:

What results do I want to achieve?
What am I doing now?
Is my current action getting me closer to results?
This is the most The best way doing so?
What should I change to get better results?

Don't lose your temper if things don't go as planned. This is fine. Find out why you veered off course, be curious rather than annoyed. With the curiosity of a scientist, ask yourself questions and look for optimal solutions.

Complete decision making process

The previous point was rather preparatory and theoretical. Here we will talk about the complete decision-making process. It will require significantly more time, which means it needs to be used if the problem facing you is really important.

Step One: Get Clarity

Let's first understand the importance of the decision you are about to make. Ask yourself:

What are the options?
What decision should I ideally make?
Why is this decision so important?
How will it help me?
How important is this decision for my loved ones?
Can it change my life?
Do other people understand the importance of this decision?

It is worth being clear about the importance of the decision you are about to make because it will help determine how much effort and time you will spend.

Step Two: Gather the Facts and Explore Options

Sometimes a solution requires a gathering large quantity information. And, if it is important to you, then you need to allocate enough time to it.

Once you've gathered all the information you need, take the time to consider possible ways forward. Ask yourself:

What decision can I make?
What actions can I take?
What options are there?
What will I need?

For one solution you may need money, help from other people and a lot of time. For others - a lot of work and patience. What will be best for you?

It's time to look at the pros and cons of each solution option. Ask yourself:

What are the benefits of this course of action?
What are the disadvantages?
What are the advantages of one option over the other?

As you ask yourself these questions, think about the sacrifices you will have to make in the first and second case. They may not be obvious: sometimes you can ruin relationships with others by making decisions that do not affect them.

It all basically comes down to opportunity cost. Taking one course of action may prevent you from taking another, and there may be advantages and disadvantages to different options.

Step Four: Determine the Worst-Case Scenario

Remember Murphy's Law: “If something bad can happen, it will happen.” Take it into account whenever you make a decision.

Ask yourself, “What is the worst that could happen if I make this decision. How will I deal with the consequences?

Of course, the worst case scenario may not always happen. But you need to be prepared for it. At least psychologically. After weighing the pros and cons and figuring out what worst-case scenarios await you, make a decision. But remember that it should be flexible so that if something goes wrong, you can quickly rebuild and update your action plan.

Step Five: Learn from Experience

You made a decision and now you either reap the rewards of your efforts or regret your mistakes. In any case, all this is an experience that needs to be appreciated. Ask yourself:

What did I learn from this experience?
What have I learned about how I make decisions?
Was this decision completely in harmony with my personality and my values?
Have I achieved the desired result?
Did I adjust my actions when I encountered problems?

There are many questions you could ask yourself. So please don't limit yourself to just these. Think of others you might ask, especially after mistakes, defeat, or failure.

We wish you good luck!

A person’s entire life consists of a series of decisions made – big and small. The whole future life depends on some of them. Many people have difficulty when faced with making a choice. Let's figure out how to make the decision-making process more effective, and what methods can be used to do this.

Every day life presents us with a choice, presenting us with various tasks. What to cook for breakfast? What suit to wear to work? Which phone should I buy? Where to go on vacation during your vacation? Should I agree to the marriage proposal or wait? Should I quit my job or stay? There are decisions that don’t really affect anything, but there are those that radically change your life.

All people behave differently when making decisions. There is a category of people who are called “don’t care”. They are never tormented by choice, because they give preference to the first or simplest option. They put on the clothes that are the first to be taken out of the closet, go on a date with the first person to invite them, take the job that is easiest to get, etc. These people believe that life itself will put everything in its place, so they don’t It's worth the effort.

Another category of people is guided by intuition when making important decisions. These individuals always listen to their inner voice and do not doubt the correctness of the decisions made. However, there are not very many such people.

The majority of people are individuals who have difficulty making choices. They suffer, doubt, weigh every option, but still cannot make a final decision. And when the decision is made, they continue to doubt its correctness. If you belong to the category of such people and do not know how to make a decision when in doubt, then it will be useful for you to learn several methods that make the selection process easier.

Method 1. “Descartes Square”

The essence of the method is to consider the problem facing you from four different angles. To do this, you need to ask yourself 4 questions. Take a piece of paper and divide it into four parts in the form of a square. In each part, write one of the questions:

What good will I get if I fulfill my plan?
What good will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plans?
What harm will I get if I fulfill my plan?
What harm will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plans?

Think and write the answer to the question in each square. By listing all the pros and cons of implementing your plan and refusing to implement it, you can understand which decision is best for you to make.

If you don’t know what to do in a particular situation and stop doubting, tell the two closest people about the problem and ask them for advice. Folk wisdom says that every person has his own guardian angel who protects and guides him on the right path. The Guardian Angel gives clues through intuition. If a person has poorly developed intuition, then an angel can convey a hint through a loved one. Hence the recommendation to ask for advice from the two closest people.

Method 3. “Expanding the framework”

The problem with most people is that they force themselves into narrow boundaries and do not see alternatives. They tend to get caught up in the “Yes” and “No” options, not realizing that there are other choices. Let's say you want to take out a car loan. You see only two options: take a car loan or continue using public transport.

By expanding your choice, you will see alternative options. For example: you can find a cheaper car and buy it no longer on credit; you can refuse the loan and start saving money to buy a car; you can rent a house closer to work and avoid using public transport; you can even change your job by getting a job in another company located close to your home; You can negotiate with one of your colleagues to give you a ride to work in his car for a certain fee. As you can see, there can be many options, the main thing is to see them.

Method 4. “Disappearance of options”

Imagine that the option you like best is not available. For example, the company you want to get a job with has ceased to exist. Think about what to do in this case. Thinking in this vein, you will discover other, no less interesting options regarding new job, which you haven’t seen before because you were fixated on one.

Method 5. “Glass of water”

The author of this technique is the American parapsychologist Jose Silva, founder of the Silva Method, author of books on unconventional psychology. He suggests the following: in the evening before going to bed, pour clean, unboiled water into a glass. Take the glass with both hands, close your eyes, focus on the problem that worries you and clearly formulate the question that requires a decision. Then, slowly, drink half the glass, mentally repeating something like this: “This is all I need to make the right decision.”

Place a glass with the remaining water near your bed and go to bed. First thing in the morning after waking up, drink some water and thank your subconscious for the right decision. The solution may come immediately after waking up or during the day. People who have tried this technique claim that it works.

Method 6. “Delay”

If you can't make a choice and make a decision, give yourself a break. When you are excited and your brain is overloaded with information, do right choice very hard. Remember how often you made the wrong decision in a hurry and then regretted it? To prevent this from happening, take a break, calm down, and once again carefully analyze the strengths and weak sides of your choice. There are not many situations in life that require instant decision making, so don’t be afraid to put it off for a while.

Method 7. “Own the information”

Before making a choice, try to find out as much information as possible about the option you are going to choose. When it comes to purchasing a product, read reviews about it on the Internet. When deciding to change jobs, learn everything about the position you will be taking and the people who worked there before you. If possible, track down these people to get first-hand information. You understand that the employer may not tell you about all the difficulties that await you, and a person who has already worked in this company before is unlikely to withhold such information.

The more important the decision you make, the more responsible your approach to finding the information you need must be. This way you will protect yourself from deception and prepare for possible difficulties.

Method 8. “Drop your emotions”

Emotions greatly interfere with making the right decision because they distort the vision of the situation. An emotionally agitated person is unable to think sensibly. Therefore, make it a rule: never make decisions while at the peak of emotions. Anger, fear, malice, as well as intense joy and euphoria are bad advisers in decision making.

If you are overcome by emotions, do not make any choice. Give yourself time to cool down and then with a sober look take a look at the situation. This way you will protect yourself from rash actions and their consequences.

How to get rid of emotions?

Even when you realize that emotions are preventing you from making the right choices, you can't always get rid of them. To make this process easier, use simple methods.

10/10/10

This method allows you to put aside immediate impulses and look at the situation in the long term. The essence of the method is to ask yourself three questions before making a decision:

How will I feel about my choice in 10 minutes?
How will I feel about my choice in 10 months?
How will I feel about my choice in 10 years?

Let's say you want to take out an expensive car on credit. You apply for a loan and get behind the wheel of a brand new car. What will you think 10 minutes after the purchase? You will probably be euphoric, rejoicing at your purchase. But after 10 months, the joy will subside, and you will feel the full weight of the credit burden and will be faced with the need to limit yourself in many things. And in 10 years, when you finally pay off your debts, you will see that your car is old and requires repairs, or maybe you are so tired of it that you want to sell it.

The 10/10/10 method can be used in any situation. It perfectly helps to pacify emotions and look at the long-term consequences of your choice, so as not to regret what you did later.

Stay in the dark

A good way to calm your emotions is to simply be in the dark. Psychologists have proven that twilight or complete darkness calms a person and helps put his thoughts in order. Please note that jewelry stores are always brightly lit. Do you think this was done so that gold and precious stones would play and shimmer better in the rays of light? Not just for this. Marketing experts know that bright lights are more likely to make people make impulse purchases.

If you need to calm your emotions to accept the right decision, sit for a while in a semi-dark or dark room, think again about the consequences of your choice.

Breathe deeply

Another simple but effective method that helps in the fight against emotions is deep breathing. Take 10 slow, deep breaths in and out, and then ask yourself again: “Am I doing the right thing?”

Think about what you would advise a friend

To reduce emotions and cool down the ardor, it is useful to look at the situation from the outside. Imagine that it is not you who are faced with the need to make a decision, but your friend. What would you advise him to do in this situation?

Many people notice this peculiarity in themselves: they give practical and rational advice to their friends, but when they find themselves in similar situations, they behave extremely stupidly. This happens because, looking at the problem from the outside, we see only the most essential. And when we ourselves find ourselves in the middle of a problem, a lot of little things come up that we attach too much importance to.

The ability to abstract yourself and look at a situation with an unbiased mind gives a significant advantage when it comes to making the right choice.

Method 9. “Following life priorities”

Every person has their own life values, rules and priorities that influence his choice. Always stick to these values and you can't go wrong. For example, you are offered a choice of two positions: one of them is prestigious and highly paid, but requires a lot of dedication from you; the second is less prestigious and does not have such a high salary, but you don’t have to work overtime and you have a lot of free time. Which one to choose?

To make decisions without doubt and stress, be guided by your life priorities. If your family comes first, then choose a position that is not so prestigious and paid, but will not steal your personal time, which you can devote to loved ones. If you dream of building a career, give preference to a prestigious and highly paid position that will help you move up the career ladder.

Method 10. “Intuition”

Intuition is a wonderful tool that not everyone knows how to use. She can tell you a way out when rational methods do not bring the desired result. And it often happens like this: you make a choice based on logic and rationality, and this choice seems to you the most correct, but your inner voice stubbornly protests against it. Maybe we should listen to him?

Develop intuition, and it will become an excellent assistant in different situations, but do not overestimate its role and do not forget about reason and logic.

If you find yourself in a situation of choice, use any of the listed methods, or better yet, use several at once. Over time, you will understand which method suits you best, and you will be able to use it in a variety of ways. life situations. By learning to make decisions, you will significantly improve the quality of your life.

The fight against doubt is the most difficult thing a successful entrepreneur has to deal with every day: whether to accept an offer or not, take an order or refuse, invest money in a project or not. Sometimes, this kind of doubt helps to make the right choice and not lose money, but what if it interferes with running a business? Understand yourself and find the answer to the question “What to do when you can’t make a decision?” Recommendations from psychologists will help.

When faced with the impossibility of choosing between alternatives, you need to understand the root cause that prevents you from making a decision. Observe the situation from the outside, think about other solutions, or just relax: very often, what at first seemed like a complex and difficult task can be easily solved with a “fresh” head. For example, if you are concerned about where to get money, then after thinking carefully, you will find a solution to this problem, including borrowing money - zajmy.kz.

Many mistakes are made because people are accustomed to making decisions based on the voice of reason, forgetting about the presence of a “sixth” sense. When a person acts according to the dictates of his heart, he has no black streaks, and all his decisions are correct, and he will never regret them.

Are you ready to make the final choice, but you need to compromise with your conscience? Refuse this decision and try to find another way out of the situation, because... You still won't get moral satisfaction from implementing your plan. And remember: the human mind is accustomed to looking for the easiest solution. But if you have to solve a difficult, confusing situation, the answer does not lie on the surface, and in order to find the right solution, you need to scroll through hundreds of combinations and variations in your head.

It is doubt that becomes a stumbling block to the implementation of projects that could bring a consistently high income. Just imagine what would have happened if Steve Jobs doubted the feasibility of developing computer technology or if Bill Gates for some reason refused to create operating system Windows?

The ability to understand the inevitability of choice distinguishes a successful businessman from hired workers, because starting a business involves independent decision any situations: from minor conflicts between subordinates to the choice of strategic development of the company. That is why many decisions have to be made under the heading “this is how it should be”.

When the choice is made, there is not much left: to implement the plan. But even at this stage, doubt may lie in wait for you. What can you do to avoid this? If you ask psychologists this question, they will offer 2 alternatives:

1. Imagine that instead of the chosen course of action, you chose the worst case scenario. What could happen in such a case? This practice will help you once again be convinced of the correctness of the decision made.

2. Rotate in your imagination, like a slide, the positive aspects that the implementation of the chosen solution will give you. This will help you clearly understand the ultimate goal for which your entire company is working.

There comes a time in every person's life when he some serious decision needs to be made, which can greatly change his fate. As a rule, if a person realizes the difficulty of his situation, then making such decisions is very difficult. It's easy to make fateful decisions when you don't think or when you don't understand what. What can a person who understands his situation and is faced with the need to make a difficult decision find support? I invite you to think with me about possible answers to this question.

Give yourself time

To make any decision you need time. And it’s good if we are for these purposes allocate it to ourselves. In the old days, sages could deliberately retire in order to better concentrate on some important issue. Now the pace of our lives is so great that stopping for a while and focusing on something important to ourselves is becoming increasingly difficult. And without this it is very difficult to make a decision. After all, it is so important to think, analyze your situation, find and be disappointed in certain solutions, reach a dead end, and then again look for a way out of it. All of these are integral components of searching and making a decision. And if we do not give ourselves time, then decisions can be impulsive and thoughtless, based on a fleeting mood or...

Reliance on feelings

Somehow it turns out that in difficult situations our . Or there are so many “smart” thoughts that you can get lost in them; or the wind begins to blow through your head and your mind refuses to work. In this case, relying on your own can help. own feelings. Only this should be relying not on momentary emotions(joy, anger, fear, etc.), but for deep feelings that live in each of us. It is very easy for someone to hear the voice of these feelings within themselves, and they only need to listen to themselves, but for others it is completely unknown how to hear the wave of their feelings in the general noise enveloping the soul. I will share with you the advice of one of my friends, who told me how he does it. Personally, I really liked his advice.

So, first you will need to find a quiet place where you can retire. Once you have done this, find something nearby that you can focus your attention on. It’s better if it’s some kind of shiny object (it’s easier to focus on this for a long time). Sit comfortably, fix your gaze on this object, and while sitting like this, begin to gradually listen to yourself. To do this, imagine that inside you there is emptiness, silence, nothing. Listen to this silence and emptiness. Don't let your thoughts distract you from this silence. And if thoughts distract you, then simply notice what they are about and let them go. Gradually, something will begin to appear in this emptiness. Notice what comes to the surface. These are the feelings we are looking for. They can appear in the form of images, vague premonitions, sensations in the body. As soon as you notice something in yourself, try to listen to it and give your experiences the opportunity to unfold.

This whole procedure can be figuratively represented as follows. You are walking through the forest and you need to go out onto a road along which cars drive. This road is far away. You are walking and behind the crunch of branches and leaves under your feet, you cannot hear in which direction this road is. You stop and freeze to listen where the road is. And you don’t hear it right away, but only after a short period of time, when the ear adjusts to silence and hearing becomes more acute. It’s the same with feelings. You must first stop and stop all internal work, and then listen to where the “sound of your feelings” comes from within you.

If you manage to hear the voice of your feelings, hear your true desires, then this can provide support and the direction in which you would like to move. And if such a general direction becomes clear, then making a decision turns out to be much easier (and sometimes it simply becomes self-evident).

Self-deception test

An important guideline when making a decision can be feeling of inner agreement. This feeling can appear in reverse form, in the form feelings, if you refuse a decision, or, on the contrary, internally insist on the need to make it. Usually this feeling is similar to some kind of internal discomfort, something gnawing inside and tormenting, as if you were betraying yourself. It is very important to ask yourself in a difficult situation: “Why am I here? Why should I do such and such? What is the meaning of my decision? If you don't know what decision to make, then it's worth asking yourself about the meaning of the situation in which you are forced to make a decision. Why did you end up in it? Why did you come to it? By finding answers to these questions, you can better understand why you find yourself in a decision-making or choice situation. And after that, you can ask yourself whether you are betraying what you came to this situation for, and yourself at the same time, by choosing this or that solution.

Fighting doubts

It must be said that doubts often arise when if the decision is made under pressure(internal or external). If the decision is hard-won and internally matured, then doubts and regrets do not arise. Well, if the choice has not yet matured internally, but it needs to be made as soon as possible, then confusion and a desire to find the “right” solution appear. In such a state, any choice will be wrong. Such a decision will always be followed by a trail of regrets and doubts. There is only one way out here - to think about what forces you right now (“as soon as possible”) to make a choice and make a decision. More precisely, what doesn’t suit you about it? And here it is better to think about what else can be done to remove this internal dissatisfaction without radically changing the situation.

Generally speaking, best advice here - don't put pressure on yourself. Don't force yourself to make a decision. Allow yourself not to accept it. Relax. Be like a samurai who, with an unshakable spirit, stands on the edge of a cliff and looks at blue sky, enjoying its beauty. Take your time and allow yourself to look at the situation a little.

Acceptance of sacrifice

In any choice, in any decision you, one way or another, forced to give up something. There is something important and valuable that must be sacrificed by choosing one alternative or another. You should be prepared for this. In order to experience the victim more effectively (so to speak), it is necessary to approach it with the awareness of what exactly are you losing. When you clearly understand what you are giving up, then it is easier for you to survive the consequences of making such a difficult decision.

In order to better understand what you will have to give up, try to complete the following sentence within yourself: “I will never again...”. By talking inside yourself about everything that you have to part with, you can, on the one hand, better understand the importance of this or that alternative and, on the other hand, gain courage and willingness to take responsibility for decision. One way to help you accept this sacrifice is to realize what you are paying for in the form of the benefits you are giving up. This is your choice, and for every choice in life we must pay something and sacrifice something for the sake of something more valuable to us.

Final point

To give your decision more weight, you need to "pump him up with energy". How to do it? There are two options here. On the one hand, you can take one of the alternatives that you want to refuse and imagine the worst possible scenario. This can be done by saying to yourself the following words: “if I choose such and such, I will suffer from such and such all my life.” You can do it like this.

Or you can find the positive that is in the choice to which you are inclined, and keep it in your mind, in your imagination, keep it as a goal, as the lighthouse you want to lead your ship to. Can remember more often the good things you strive for, especially in moments of doubt and hesitation.