Characters:
Kolya and Masha.
Masha: Where are you going to go?
Kolya: In radio engineering. And you?
Masha: And I’m probably in the pedagogical department.
Kolya: Are you not tired of school after 11 years?
Masha: You see, I’ve been thinking for a long time: if only I could change something at school...
Kolya: Yeah! For example, show movies instead of lessons!
Masha(dreamy): I’m thinking about how to make school interesting, joyful and good for everyone: both teachers and students.
Kolya: It’s also a joy for me: to study! Yes, and teach too, by and large. We can finish it, it won’t seem like much.
Masha: I think it all depends on the teacher. After all, look for yourself - we loved some subjects, maybe we didn’t love some, but we knew them by heart, and some made us sick and motion sick - from boredom and misunderstanding. But the point is not in the subjects, but in those who teach them! I want to become such a teacher that absolutely all my students adore my subject and know it not because I demand it, but because I was able to interest them so much that they simply cannot live a day without learning something new!
Kolya: Mash, in my opinion, you are an idealist. There are no such teachers that all the children adore them. What kind of person should you be?!
Masha: And there’s nothing complicated here. Passionate, like Tatyana Dmitrievna. She knows her subject by heart, like Marina Anatolyevna. Strict, but fair, like Lyudmila Borisovna.
Kolya(enters the game): Kind, like Irina Sergeevna. And beautiful, like Veronica Igorevna!
Masha: Responsible, like Vera Ivanovna. If he promises anything, everything is ironclad.
Kolya: And don't forget your sense of humor!
Masha: Yes, Evgeniy Petrovich is... It’s a pleasure to communicate!
Kolya: And I really like Larisa Matveevna! She's so light! No problem! I would appoint her as a minister - she would easily solve all the country’s problems!
Masha: And Anna Fedorovna! She's so sarcastic and so smart!
Kolya: And I still really like Irina Petrovna - in any case, everything she says is her own thoughts.
Masha: And how Valery Petrovich knows how to hold on! So confident, so fit, correct, you involuntarily try to fit in.
Kolya: And I like Ivan Sergeevich! He's decisive. You can immediately feel that he is a man.
Masha: You might think that Ekaterina Ivanovna is not decisive. How does she operate a computer?
Kolya(sighing): Yes...
Masha: Oh, and how to cultivate all this in yourself?
Kolya: You know, Masha, if such teachers come to school, I wouldn’t mind studying there for another period.
The show ends
The holiday called Teacher's Day is approaching. In the meantime, he is gradually approaching, all the students are “running” in search of what they will surprise their beloved teachers with. And you run too? Or maybe you can show funny skits about teachers on Teacher's Day?
Thumbnail of passing the exam.
Teacher:
Dear students, hello. Today we have an exam, and today in our school, in our class, an experiment is being conducted. They connected cameras to us, and now they can see us all right in Moscow! So we behave well, don’t cheat, and pass the exam.
Here one student raises his hand.
Teacher:
Stepanov, what do you want?
Stepanov:
It’s as if I already want to leave.
Teacher:
What does it mean to leave?! We have an exam!
Stepanov:
So I want to “give it up” and leave.
Teacher:
Oh, give it up! This is another matter! But remember Stepanov, there are cameras everywhere, so don’t let your class or the whole school down!
Stepanov comes out and immediately goes to the teacher and gives him a heavy bag.
The teacher takes the bag and says in surprise:
What is this, Stepanov?
Stepanov:
Like what? This is my exam!
The teacher looks into the bag, then wipes the sweat from his face and says:
Why small change?
Stepanov:
It’s just that my dad works in a minibus, we always have this little thing!
The teacher gives the bag to the student:
Take it quickly, Stepanov. Cameras are everywhere, and you're poking me!
Stepanov takes the bag:
How then can I pass the exam?
Teacher:
Do you see my table is free? Sit behind him and leave the bag there.
The student sits down at the teacher’s table and says:
All is ready. I passed?
Teacher:
Which one passed, Stepanov?! See, cameras are everywhere! Come on, I'll help you now. Let me know what your question is.
Stepanov:
How to hint?
Teacher:
Raise your hand, ask to leave and drop hints in between.
Stepanov holds out his hand.
Teacher:
Stepanov, what do you want?
Stepanov:
Arthur Nikolaevich, before I answer the question “basic properties of the atom,” can I go to the toilet?
Teacher:
You can, Stepanov, go.
Stepanov comes out. And the teacher says:
Do you see how Stepanov easily passed the exam?! And all because Stepanov’s dad works in a minibus, and Stepanov is preparing to continue his father’s work and therefore is in a hurry to pass everything quickly and go study with his father!
Sketch - Modern teachers.
Teachers can be played by students.
The teacher's room, there are two teachers in it. Another teacher walks into the teachers' room with quick steps, throws a magazine on the table and speaks.
Teacher 1:
No, I can't do this anymore! I have no more strength!
One of the teachers in the room asks.
Teacher 2:
What's happened? Did you reach 8th grade again?
The third teacher, who was also already in the staff room, echoes.
Teacher 3:
Yes, 8"a" is just hell!
Teacher 1:
My mother told me: put on tights, a shorter skirt, and go to the city council building, maybe someone will fall for you! No, I put on a formal suit, and went to become a teacher, I went to make a career!
Teacher 2:
Well, you can’t do that because of one class! After all, these are children, we need to be gentle with them somehow.
Teacher 3:
It needs to be softer. But if it were up to me, I would “tighten the screws” for them!
Teacher 1:
How much more strict? I call Petrov to the board and ask – show Mallorca on the map. And he says, I won’t show you, but tell you how cool it is, my dad and I vacationed there in the summer!
Teacher 2:
Yes, really, Petrov is the son of a deputy, he can tell a lot! And in my lesson Ivanov holds out his hand and says - you can go out! I ask - where are you going? And he answers - feed the cat! I say - what cat? Did your cat stay at home or did you bring it to school? And he answers me - he downloaded the game, it’s called a talking cat, now it’s time for him to eat. And shows me the tablet. I just don’t know what to do, I say, go feed the cat, I don’t need hunger victims in my class.
Teacher 3:
But my students flatly refused to teach Dostoevsky. They say that Rospotrebnadzor added their favorite site with games to the list of prohibited ones, and they responded by adding all the writers and poets that we study in school to their list of authors prohibited from studying!
Teacher 1:
Yes, these are not children, then... I don’t even know how to say it without swearing!
Teacher 2:
Well, no problem, there will be a holiday on our street, the time for tests and exams will come!
The door to the teachers' room opens, another teacher comes in and says:
Happy holiday, teachers!
Theatrical performance in honor of the first teacher.
Characters:
Narrator,
First grader,
Firefighter,
Doctor,
Pop star,
Advocate,
Teacher,
Extras.
Narrator:
My story won't be long.
But, nevertheless, important!
To which hundreds of eyes are closed,
We will bare bravely.
It's time to end the ancient dispute
About the importance of professions.
Let's start a difficult conversation
Serious, interesting.
First grader:
They say that I am the master of the future. And as a good owner, I want to take care of my property. For this I need the most necessary, useful and interesting profession.
But I just can’t figure out who is the most important? Who is the most important and necessary?
Narrator:
I'll help you decide.
I will reveal the secrets of all the “specialists”!
To be more precise
Be ready for a personal bet.
Now they will come to meet you
Those who you can become later.
And every guest sincerely,
He can tell the truth.
(change music)
The terrible word "fire"
Everyone knows him: who is old and who is young.
From an early age the habit is instilled,
That insidious lists are dangerous.
Well, if trouble happens,
Who will we call then?
Spectators They answer - “Firefighter!”
Firefighter:
I risk my life every day:
I'm taking people out of the fire!
I am a legend of all publications,
I am an idol for all children!
I'm not afraid of stray flames!
Let the roof go to your head,
I won't fall, I know for sure
That for luck I am a magnet.
First grader:
Want Want! Save people
And command fire!
Give me a helmet and an axe,
I'm a hero now!
Narrator:
Tell us, dear,
Who was next to you
When did you break all your bones?
Who helped you in trouble.
Firefighter:
My best friend, Doctor on duty.
I left him at a gallop!
He's an amazing man
Without him I would not have stood up forever.
(the fireman goes into the background, turns his back to the viewer and freezes in a characteristic pose)
Doctor:
My mission is no less dangerous
I'm at the center of frontline epidemics.
I fight for my health every hour.
Scalpels, syringes and probes
People are saved in my hands
From the most terrible diseases.
He who is smart knows for sure
Being a doctor is an honor and important!
First grader:
Yes, it would be nice to become a doctor... But what? And I will help people and I myself will not remain offended. Look, Aunt Zina says that she leaves her entire salary with the dentist.
So two or three patients a day and I’ll buy my mother a fur coat.
(The doctor is sincerely offended and joins the fireman.)
Narrator:
Wait, my young friend, why have you forgotten about the high idea and helping people? If you only care about profit and fame, then I’ll introduce you to another company. Look who just came to visit us... Did you order a pop star?
(track “Everything Impossible is Possible” A shocking pop example appears)
Pop star:
I put on makeup in the morning
And I put on jeans.
I am loved by my audience,
I bring her joy.
My work seems simple to you,
But you are terribly wrong!
Just look dumb
It’s so important for a “star.”
First grader:
I want to sparkle like a diamond
And all day long
I'll be happy to have fun.
Hurry to the plane
To give dreams to fans,
Songs and smiles
To be an example of beauty
Live boldly and openly.
Narrator:
And the star has problems.
And they, my friend, are countless.
Pop star:
Can't count.
There is such a thing, copyright,
Rivals are so happy to challenge his hit!
Advocate:
And then I come to the forefront of conflict events! I am the best assistant, and the only way out when you are trying to sue someone else's house or just quarreling with your wife!
I can be worse than an angry dog, but if necessary I will become fluffier than an Angora rabbit!
To pull a would-be pop star out of a monkey bar or to help an ordinary person defend his rights - for me it’s just like breathing!
(Pause)
Do you have a personal lawyer? Then I'm coming to you! And you...and you...
First grader:
I was painfully confused.
I don’t know what to choose.
Advocate:
Do not worry! Choose me.
I answer better.
Everyone needs me!
(doctor turns around)
Doctor:
well, not quite
Advocate:
And even more so for you!
Firefighter:
Oh, you office rabble,
Now I'll show you who's boss!
(The fireman rolls up his sleeves and heads to the lawyer. He is followed by a doctor and a pop star. Each of them must constantly say some phrase, for the effect of a fuss quarrel. They are joined by five or six more people - representatives of other popular professions. A few seconds there is an imitation of a general quarrel.)
Narrator:
Wait, dear friends,
Stop in a moment!
To complete the trial,
We need a clear shift.
Tell me honestly, without whom
Is it impossible to become someone?
Doctor:
Teachers. Zigzag stitch
It was difficult to master.
Advocate:
And my mentor is from me
Fashioned a shark!
Firefighter:
How my boss drilled me,
I definitely won't forget.
Extra person:
I have had many teachers in my life, but one of them holds a special place in my heart...
(Silence. Everyone freezes for a few seconds, emphasizing the next moment. A beautiful gentle melody sounds).
My first teacher.
(The crowd disperses. The teacher comes to the fore through it. All other characters take off items related to their profession and line up.)
Teacher:
A fireman, a lawyer, and even an oil magnate, before taking their place in life, attended my lessons. Even after years, we are teachers primary classes, we remember the face of each of our pupils.
(The first grader approaches the teacher and takes his hand)
First grader:
The first teacher is a mentor,
Whom you remember all your years.
Every lesson is like a joyful holiday,
Attention, care, friendship, love.
Narrator:
The teacher gives us not only the knowledge
What people are used to calling “education”.
All:
The teacher is a role model,
How you need to work, believe, dream!
Final song.
This scene requires almost no props other than chairs, and requires several actors to play the roles of four students and a teacher. Scene: classroom, beginning of lesson.
The class is sitting at their desks. The teacher enters. The class stands up and, after a nod from the teacher, sits down.
TEACHER: Hello, children. Congratulations on Knowledge Day. The 60/61 academic year has arrived. This year we...
STUDENT 1: We are waiting for Gagarin’s flight into space (the class laughs)
TEACHER: Very funny, Kapitsyn. Although your knowledge of history makes me happy. I thought you could earn a grade in history only if you brought something to the school history museum. Somewhere you dug up this iPad 2, I have no idea... it’s not at any flea market anymore...
STUDENT 1: In my grandmother’s village in the attic...
TEACHER: Well, let's not go into details. The main thing is that everyone is alive and well after summer holidays and together we begin the 60/61 academic year. For Kapitsyn, I’ll clarify – 2061/2061. Well, who vacationed where in the summer? Where have you been Ilyusha?
STUDENT 2: My parents and I flew to the boarding house on the Cassiopeia.
TEACHER: And you Lenochka?
STUDENT 3: I'm visiting my grandmother on Andromeda.
TEACHER: Well, I see. Well done. Then I’ll read your essays on “how I spent my summer.” Just make sure there is a map in the attached file solar system with a mark. So that I don't look. I hope all summer assignments are completed. So, Tikhonov, did you make portraits of writers for the literature room?
STUDENT 4: Yes, Lara Varcraftovna. Everything on the list: Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin, Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy, Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol, Ksenia Anatolyevna Sobchak, Oksana Viktorovna Robski and the T9 regime.
TEACHER: Well done. I hope that this year you will behave normally and you will not have to be given such “punishments”. By the way, the Trudovik still hasn’t gone to work after your bottle... This is what a robot that runs on diesel fuel needs to figure out: fill it with 86-gasoline. Okay, I won't remember. Evstratova, did you bring the flowers you picked up for the summer?
STUDENT 4: Yes.
TEACHER: Okay. Transfer via bluetooth back to the trash can. So, let's give money for curtains...
STUDENT 1: Lara Varcraftovna, how long is it possible? There have been no curtains for almost half a century...
STUDENT 2: LED blinds have been around for a long time...
TEACHER: Okay, quiet. I explained it to you. This is a tradition. All schools collect “curtains”. Do you think that 50 years ago they collected curtains and bought them or something?! Okay, tell your parents that next week Parent meeting. They are waiting for their Skype logins from you. So, we write down a task for ourselves on Twitter: repeat last year’s chemistry course. Tomorrow in class we will look at the composition of Mountain Dew soda... Well, if there are no questions, everyone is free. So, don’t fly too fast through the corridors on ATVs. Do you hear, Kapitsyn!
Humorous skit “Magic School”
(a student appears with a “School” sign)
School:“Let’s let everyone out!”
(a student appears with a sign “Director”)
Director:“Everything will pass, including the test!”
(2 students appear with “Teacher” signs)
Teachers:“When was it easy?”
Voice behind the scenes: So the school, the director and teachers would have lived happily if students had not come to them from time to time and bothered them with writing numerous reports. And this whole company, always screaming, fighting and unwilling to learn, lived under the motto
(3 students appear with “Student” signs)
Student:“And we finally don’t care!”
Director: Well, dear colleagues, how do children learn? What's new in the classes?
Teacher of Russian language: Half of the 5th grade doesn't go to school!
Biology teacher: And in 8th grade, children talk on the phone all the time during lessons!
Teacher of Russian language: And in the ninth they sleep soundly!
Director: I propose a pedagogical experiment. We need to turn our secondary school to the magical one.
Teacher of Russian language: Brilliant.
Biology teacher: We agree to everything, as long as the children study.
Teacher of Russian language: Then, colleagues, start preparing for lessons, and I will talk to the children.
Director: Well, guys, don’t you want to study at all?
First student: Do not want!
Director: What if our school turns from ordinary to magical?
Second student: Like this?
Director: And here it is: wave your magic wand, cast a spell and you will be happy. Well, for example: “Schoolboy, don’t bother yourself, OGE option, make up your mind!”
Or “Stand up the letters and numbers in a row, and your certificate is ready!”
Third student: Class!!! And you don’t have to learn the rules, memorize formulas and dates.
Yes, going to such a school is much more interesting.
The director leaves, the bell rings
Teacher of Russian language: Hello children, I am your new teacher. My name is Vasilisa Vladimirovna the Wise. Today we will teach you a spell that will help you move various items, well, just like in a fairy tale, remember: “hut, hut, turn your front to me and your back to the forest.” Now you try to expand our school. To do this, write down the phrase three times in your notebook: “School, school, turn your front to me, and your back to the city.”
First student: Something is wrong: the school is standing there and it’s not even moving!
School: Look what you were thinking. Because of some ignoramuses, I will begin to shift my hundred-year-old bricks from place to place!
First student: why is this ignoramus?
School: But because while you were writing, you made 8 mistakes in the spell.
Teacher of Russian language: Everything is clear, we urgently take out a Russian language textbook and learn spelling.
The Russian language teacher leaves, the bell rings
Biology teacher: Hello children. I am your new teacher, my name is Volkhva Petrovna. Today we will learn how to brew a love potion.
Second student: Is it possible to bewitch voters with its help? But I want to become a deputy.
Biology teacher: It’s still possible, but you’ll need a lot of it, just like you’ll have to produce Coca-Cola.
Second student: Great!
Biology teacher: Take 20 plantain leaves, 4 yarrow stems, 5 dandelion flowers and one burdock root, cook over high heat. That's it, our potion is ready!
Second student: yes... I would also like to know what these plantain and St. John's wort look like, and where the plant's stem is.
Biology teacher: Then here's what: open the biology textbook, let's start studying botany.
Biology teacher leaves, the bell rings
Director: Once again I greet you, my friends, from now on call me Koschey Ivanovich the Immortal. I am your new time travel teacher and part-time school principal. Today we are going back in time. So I have a silver saucer with an apple in stock. What event in the past would you like to see with your own eyes?
Third student: Battle of Kulikovo.
Director: Well, come to the board and repeat after me: roll, roll, apple, on a silver platter, send us to...
Third student: roll, roll, bullseye, on a silver platter, send us to….
Director: Well, name the year, the place
Third student: Forgot!
Director: Then sit down, take out a history textbook and repeat the topic, it’s too early for you to get mixed up in the past.
Third student: We were thinking: it’s too early for us to go to a magic school, we should go back to a regular one.
Director: What about magic? Effortless exams and certificates?
Third student: We just realized that all the magic in this world is our knowledge.
Director: Well, since you understand everything, welcome to a regular secondary school!
Let everything you see be a lie, But here you will read between the lines,
That you will enter life confidently
Only through the school threshold you.
