Listen. Just be careful and don't interrupt me. I know I always come across as a positive young man, but you have five reasons to hate me.
1.
Quite a long time ago, on one glorious spring evening, I met a funny, fair-haired girl, Katya. I loved her curls, and she went crazy with my hands. I taught her the art of origami, and she told me about Robert Asprin's books.
In spring it is impossible not to fall in love. But sometimes spring tries too hard. A month later, at one of some leftist parties, I met Natasha, who charmed me with her languid look and lack of a bra.
I dated both, easily juggling my time. The spring sun filled the air new life, the sex seemed to never stop, and the happiness seemed almost physically tangible.
But then I got tired of it all. I'm tired of them. At a certain point, I wrote to them like that. I pressed the send message button and calmly went to the club - for new sensations. Katya and Natasha, who had become deeply attached to me, tried to call and write to me for half the entire night, and I calmly ignored them. Their messages were so similar that I wondered if they were copying one from the other. Young and hot-tempered, they decided to commit suicide by jumping from the roof. Both, almost simultaneously. Scrolling through the messages, I could almost see them standing on the roofs of two high-rise buildings and catching the wind with their tears.
Of course, they didn’t jump anywhere. I made an appointment for both of them near that club - at the same time. And he was not at all surprised when, deliberately forty minutes late, he went out onto the porch and saw that the girls had already met. And not only did they meet, but they also managed to grind all my bones. Both were tear-stained, steadfastly hiding their hysterical state - but their hands and lips shaking with small tremors gave them away.
They asked me who I loved after all - after all, I told both of them. And I looked at them carefully and appraisingly: pride was burning in Natasha, and Katya was ready to break. I said that I only had feelings towards Katya, and that I only needed sex from Natasha. Natasha collected the fragments of her pride from the steps of the porch and left, and Katya broke down and threw herself into my arms.
One could call this a kind of happy ending, but as soon as Katya forgave me, I became bored again, and I broke up with her the next morning - now forever.
2.
I already told you about Olga, my friend. Not a beauty, but a very sweet, meek and inexperienced little one. You definitely want to seduce this one. For a very long time she was extremely cautious about the opposite sex - because of her upbringing, perhaps, or because of some problems with her father. And then one day she met a man who was significantly older than her - he was able to break through her defenses. Since then, Olga disappeared from our company, but we were sincerely happy for her.
I had almost begun to forget about my friend, when suddenly one day we met by chance in one of the perfume stores. After talking, we got to one of the bars and decided to sit there. Glass by glass, Olga became sadder and more talkative. She still told me about her new life. The man with whom she lived, with whom she managed to move, treated her very cruelly. It all started with minor quarrels, but soon it escalated to assault. Olga even showed me the bruises on her arms and assured me that there were no less of them on the rest of my body. She still loved him - or so it seemed to her. I tried to explain that living in such a prison is unthinkable, but Olga just silently shook her head.
We didn’t see her for a long time, and my memory again began to erase my friend from the archives. But that summer, while walking in the park and enjoying the soft sun, I noticed Olga on one of the benches. I didn’t immediately recognize her, disheveled and cowered, hiding her tears behind large sunglasses. I walked up and called her name. Olga raised her head, and I saw a large purple spot on her left cheekbone. No explanation was required, and I silently took her to my place, gave her some grog and put her to bed.
There were indeed a lot of bruises on her body, but that didn’t make it any less appetizing. A caustic wave of passion swept over me, and I, waking up the poor fellow, began to undress her. Olga resisted, plaintively persuading me to stop, and then I took her by force, tearing her T-shirt and, it seems, her panties.
As soon as I fell asleep, Olga got dressed and left, taking with her the crippled image of a man forever.
3.
During one of my business trips to St. Petersburg, I met one of the most beautiful girls I have ever met in my life. Her name was also Katya. We worked in the same team on a project, but soon our relationship grew into a purely professional one. Katya was older than me, she was at that age when girls - rather, young women - become more selective in relationships and try on the role of a husband in the men they meet. Very carefully, she began to try on this role for me. But I didn’t mind, knowing that the business trip would soon end, and the many kilometers between us would make her feelings slowly fade into memory.
However, I was wrong. In the fall, I learned that Katya had decided to make serious changes: she transferred to the Moscow office of her company, packed her things and boarded a fast train. This turned out to be a real surprise for me, but by that time I already had other interests, and I simply ignored Katya, dropping phone calls and not answering messages.
Katya did not live long in Moscow. I don’t know exactly when she returned to her native St. Petersburg, and what exactly made her do this, but the calls and messages stopped, and I calmly put Katya out of my thoughts.
The following fall I again had to go to St. Petersburg to participate in another joint project. Imagine my surprise when I saw my old friend in my new team - Katya was also noticeably surprised and embarrassed. She was still beautiful, and her image again captured my thoughts. We had to communicate on work issues, and day after day the icy tension in her voice disappeared, and a couple of times I was even lucky enough to see her smile. Finally, we had a heart-to-heart talk to break down the barrier between us and get rid of the taboo topic. It turned out that Katya had found an interesting man with whom she was already thinking about marriage. And everything was fine with them. She constantly repeated this, as if she was trying to believe what she was saying herself. But Katya already changed her life once for me, and after a couple of weeks of doubts, she broke up with her man and ran into my arms. I took advantage of her love and beauty until the project was completed, after which I left again and forgot about her again.
The incredible cyclical nature of our relationship has since become some kind of perverted tradition. Every autumn I come to St. Petersburg, find her and suck out her feelings for me - for seven whole years. At first I had to break through the thicker and thicker wall that she erected to protect herself from me, I had to take her away from more and more men who appeared in her life. But last years she gave up. Katya no longer starts long-term relationships, she has faded and seems to be retreating deeper into herself. She no longer thinks about getting married. But her beauty is still dazzling, although her smile is visible less and less, and her charming eyes are shrouded in fog.
4.
You, of course, know Vika. You know her better than anyone, because you already know her high school. And you know her husband Maxim, whom I, fortunately, do not know. But you probably don’t know how close Vika and I were.
It started as an ordinary drunken flirtation at one of the parties at my house - and this flirtation then ended with Vika feeling sick from the huge amount of alcohol she drank. Then we communicated more and more often on the Internet, and our conversations became more and more intimate. Several times she even sent me her erotic photographs, and finally all this accumulated energy resulted in a stormy, all-consuming love scene. We became secret lovers, and even you noticed that Vika began to look happy.
With her, I played a tormented lover who is burned by the thought that his beloved lives with another person. This aroused a feeling of guilt in Vika - which is what I wanted - and she was ready to do anything to put out the fire of my feigned mental anguish. It was so convenient!
I didn’t have time to get tired of Vika. On one of the coldest winter evenings, I heard a knock on the door and, opening it, saw Vika with running mascara and a suitcase in her hands. Throughout our relationship, the thought never even crossed my mind that she might actually leave her husband. I clearly heard warm notes when she mentioned him, and was sure that her rock-solid love could not be broken. I don’t know how much she had to destroy herself and how many feelings and memories stood in her way from her husband to front door- in her eyes I could only see fragments of all this.
She didn't say anything. I was silent too. And he simply closed the door in her face. She didn't knock on me anymore.
5.
And now we get to the fifth reason. Are you still listening to me?
The fifth reason is that I am telling all this to you. You, who I cheated on with all these girls. You, who came to me to tell me about our unborn child.
You made an appointment for me in this cafe, looked intently into my eyes, took my hands in yours and announced that I would soon become a father. And I explained that you have five reasons to hate me. Now you're crying. Certainly. I didn't expect anything else. And you leave, naturally.
After all, these five reasons made you hate me, right? Is five enough? Do you hate me?.. Darling?..
1.
Do you hate me, reader?
So be it. I was cruel to all of them, I was cruel to her. I'm the most selfish, insensitive bastard you've ever known.
But listen to one more thing.
She told me that we were going to have a baby soon. And I hoped that this news would make me happy. She just forgot to tell me that the real father of the child is my best friend.
I was very surprised when he suddenly stopped communicating with me, stopping any attempts to talk. I finally got hold of the bastard and forced him to lay it all out. He talked about their frequent meetings and how they accidentally conceived a child in the bathroom at my birthday - in my house while I was in the next room. She, of course, first came to him with the news. And he sent her. And me at the same time: I was probably afraid that she would tell me the truth.
No matter how it is.
She swallowed his refusal, made an appointment for me in a cafe, looked intently into my eyes, took my hands in hers and announced that I would soon become a father.
And this is the first reason to hate her.
The need to be loved is perhaps the defining characteristic of a person. Everyone has it, even before the moment when a person begins to become aware of himself. Babies who feel loved develop faster and grow healthy. Adults who know they are loved are usually happier and more successful. These feelings are natural, even the fashion for sarcasm, loneliness and sociopathy cannot drown out the desire to be loved.
This desire is felt especially acutely when a person lacks love and attention. This can make it seem like the whole world hates me. How to overcome these feelings? How to make people feel warm? First you need to figure out why there may be a feeling of universal hatred.
Causes
Oddly enough, the problem usually lies not in others, but in the person himself. Usually this:
For clarity, below are standard situations that can occur in life. All characters are fictitious.
Low self-esteem. At school Luda was " ugly duckling" Not a day went by without her classmates making fun of her: a bag thrown into the men's room, spitting in tea, offensive nicknames. At home, the older brother continued this baton: he laughed at her and teased her in the presence of friends. Luda has grown up. But her fears remain: she doesn’t trust people, expects a dirty trick from them, it seems to her that no one will ever want to communicate with her. Lyudmila is sure: the whole world hates her.
Low self-esteem is the basis for many problems. The ones described below can also appear due to low self-esteem.
Victim status. Anya is the most unhappy person in the world. If someone has a headache, Anya will definitely have a worse headache, which she will, of course, report. For some reason, people don’t like to talk to Anya, and those who do talk come in with their unnecessary advice, as if they are the smartest. Nobody wants to treat her with understanding, everyone hates her.
Excessive demands. Irina expects very little from people. She just needs to be respected, which means not to interrupt her, to listen with an interested face, and sometimes to guess her desires. And they understood the hints. And they paid compliments. But she doesn’t see such an attitude towards herself, which means that no one cares about her feelings.
Excessive intrusiveness. Galya considers herself a very open and friendly person. She always gets acquainted with interest, asks a person about his life, work, affairs, tastes, interests, whether he is older than his life partner or younger. And then she tells everything about herself that she asked the person about. If her interlocutor complained about something, she will definitely try to help with advice, and then call and ask if he managed to do everything as it should. Galya always tries to cheer everyone up and tells a lot of funny jokes. She is very upset that no one wants to appreciate her kindness, responsiveness and openness.
Hatred of others. Natasha doesn't like people. Nobody deserves this: people are ridiculous, stupid, they impose their interests and feelings on everyone. There is not a single adequate person around - everyone is rude, cruel and aggressive.
Reluctance to take care of yourself. Sveta has a good character, many admit this. But at the same time they make fun of her and don’t want to communicate. Nobody wants to consider her real essence, well-read and rich inner world. But everyone notices the hair that she hasn’t had time to wash and doesn’t consider it necessary to style, the small mustache above her upper lip - well, that’s nitpicking, because it’s completely transparent. And generally speaking, worthy person will look beyond appearance good man. But there are no worthy ones yet.
What can you do
Low self-esteem is not a death sentence, although it will take time to raise it. First of all, we need to firmly understand that the opinions of others do not define us as a person. But if you focus on their attitude, scrolling through their words in your head, you can easily convince yourself that they are right.
Even Jesus Christ, who never made mistakes, loved, treated and fed people, had a lot of ill-wishers.
Another way to boost your self-esteem is to show kindness to people, even if they don't really deserve it. Simple acts of kindness—helping an elderly woman carry her bags, giving someone directions—charge you with positivity and help you feel useful.
In addition, recognizing someone's strengths does not mean humiliating yourself, nor does it mean admitting your shortcomings. Everyone has them, that's normal, and that's not a reason to hate each other.
Psychologists unanimously recommend that you beware of ascribing to yourself the status of a victim. To overcome this tendency, you need to try to see the good in every situation and share good news. Every person has enough bad things in their life. In addition, you need to learn to sincerely sympathize - the fact that a person does not have the biggest problem in the world does not mean that he is not feeling bad. And the ability to be content with what you have is a useful skill that makes life much easier.
I would like all people to be the way they are described in the previous two paragraphs. But, unfortunately, everyone has shortcomings. Each of us would like our own mistakes to be treated leniently. In this sense, it is useful to start with yourself. When people see that their shortcomings are tolerated, they experience gratitude - the opposite of hatred.
Personal sincere interest is wonderful. But, like all good things, it is useful in limited doses. By interfering in other people's affairs and imposing yourself, you will not become interesting to others. It is necessary to recognize the right of every person to keep some personal information to himself. The interlocutor himself will help you determine which one.
You don't have to make any effort to dislike people. This can easily be done on its own. It’s just that we see in people what we ourselves feel for them. And by experiencing hatred, we harm ourselves first. There is something good in every person, and it is useful to notice it.
There is an interesting exercise. If someone is annoying, you need to sit down and write them down positive qualities. If it works, it’s easier to look at it differently. If not, then you don’t know this person enough to judge him.
A rich inner world is wonderful. But if this world is really so rich, it will also manifest itself externally. Good appearance is not only self-love, but also a show of respect for others. Who enjoys hearing the smell of the garlic cutlets the other person dined on during a conversation? But how nice it is to look at a well-groomed, neat, tastefully dressed girl! Getting to know her inner world is much more interesting.
The hatred a person feels usually comes from him. To cope with it, you need to try to love yourself and those around you.
Lyudmila, Gryazovets
Stalin died in 1953, but for some reason some people still hate him. Probably everyone has their own reasons:
The second reason the fact that Stalin was a hard worker and did not like idlers, he forced them to work and persecuted them for parasitism. That's why all parasites, lazy people and slackers hate Stalin. Because they don’t know how to work and don’t want to work. They only want to consume, eat, crap and enjoy everything they can and cannot, but at the expense of others, in general - freeloaders.
Third reason The fact is that Stalin was an honest man, he kept his word even to the enemy. He strictly carried out the decisions of the collective; once an agreement had been reached, Stalin did not deviate from the agreement. With his iron will, he achieved the strict fulfillment of the tasks and orders of the workers. He demanded honesty from all leaders and subordinates and did not like liars and deceivers. Therefore, naturally, Stalin is hated by all liars. And since now the main liars are always in charge of anything, they don’t like Stalin. But most of all he is hated by liars and liars from among the television and radio bosses, their deputies and other henchmen, who have long sensed that now it is best to make a career and profit from lies and meanness. Stalin would have stopped them from lying, so they hate him.
Fourth reason the fact is that they are cowards and they are afraid, what if Stalin returns and everyone finds out everything about traitors, scoundrels, crooks, bloodsuckers and cannibals. That's why cowards are terribly afraid of Stalin. And even at the mere mention of it, cowards and panickers are covered with small red pimples, and some even gushing green mucus and purple steam coming from their heads. Cowards hate Stalin and are afraid even of his portraits, because if they are sent to war, then because of their skin they will immediately surrender to the fascists and become policemen, executioners and will hang everyone in a row and fear Stalin's retribution.
Fifth reason The point is that under Stalin it was impossible to steal so freely and widely. Simple and clear rules accounting and cost accounting easily revealed every stolen penny, weighting, shortchange and deception of the people. Under Stalin, there could be no talk of large-scale theft, and even on a state scale - it was simply impossible not only to steal, but even to encroach on public property. For a bucket of wheat ears in the years of famine, they gave a real sentence. Speculation was impossible; the selling price of goods did not change from manufacturer to consumer. Moneylenders, fat cat bankers, stock exchanges and pyramid schemes were prohibited. Defaults and air sales were impossible. Therefore, thieves, thieves and thieves, corrupt officials and embezzlers of all stripes and shades fiercely hate Stalin. It’s clear - Stalin did not allow people to steal.
Sixth reason the fact that Stalin respected human rights not on paper, but in kind, gave people free housing, built hospitals, schools, and kindergartens. Under him, a person worked and for his work received an increase in salary and promotion; an ordinary person could even rise to the rank of minister. Today's human rights activists, who have grown to this point through meanness, slander, fraud and tribal connections, naturally hate Stalin, because he did not line up the people for human rights through corrupt courts and a corrupt bureaucracy, but directly through the Soviets ensured the rights of the working people in in its natural form. Because he deprived crooks of the opportunity to make money, he is viciously hated by venerable human rights activists, raised on foreign handouts. They are ready even now to kill anyone, to rot in prisons and gulags of anyone who encroaches on their right to hate Stalin and profit from human rights.
Seventh reason is that Stalin was an internationalist. He was a real Georgian and knew the national question well, prohibited anti-Semitism, but loved the Russian people, considered them the great and most respected people in the world. Therefore, Stalin is hated by all nationalists, Zionists, fascists, racists and all those who do not know national question and is trying to resolve its clan-tribal and local issues at the expense of other peoples.
If anyone else hates Stalin, write, we’ll figure out what your reasons are.
Yes, and more. Stalin's 130th anniversary!
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1. Hate in response to hate
We usually don't like people who don't like us. The more we think they hate us, the more we hate them back.
2. Competition
When we compete for something, our mistakes can benefit our competitors. In such cases, in order to maintain our self-esteem, we shift the blame to others. We begin to blame our failures (real and imaginary) on those who are doing better. Gradually our disappointment can turn into hatred.
3. Us and them
The ability to distinguish from enemies has always been vital for safety and survival. Our thought processes have evolved to be faster at spotting potential danger and responding accordingly. Therefore, we constantly enter information about others into our own “directory”, where all our views about different people and even entire classes of people.
We usually classify everything into one of two categories: right or wrong, good or bad. And since most of us don't stand out in any way, even minor, superficial differences, such as race or religious belief, can become an important source of identification. After all, we, first of all, always strive to belong to a group.
When we consider ourselves part of a particular group that we perceive to be superior to others, we are less inclined to sympathize with members of other groups.
4. From compassion to hatred
We consider ourselves responsive, empathetic and welcoming. Then why do we still experience hatred?
The fact is that we have a clearly formed opinion about ourselves and our rightness. And if we cannot reach a compromise, we, of course, blame the other side. Our inability to fully appreciate the situation, as well as the fact that we always make excuses for ourselves, lead us to believe that the problem is not with us, but with those around us. This view often incites hatred.
In addition, in such situations we usually consider ourselves the victim. And those who violate our rights or limit our freedom seem to us to be offenders who deserve punishment.
5. The influence of prejudice
Prejudice can influence our judgments and decisions in many ways. Here are some examples.
Ignoring the other side's strengths
There are no clear-cut situations. Everyone has their own advantages and disadvantages. But when we are in the grip of hatred, ours is distorted to such an extent that we do not see any positive qualities in our opponent. This is how we develop an incorrect idea about a person, which is then quite difficult to change.
Hate by association
According to this principle, the nature of the news influences our perception of the person reporting it. The worse the incident, the worse everything connected with it seems to us. This is why we blame the messenger, even if he has nothing to do with the event.
Misrepresentation of facts
Under the influence of prejudices based on likes and dislikes, we usually fill in gaps in information about an event or person, relying not on specific data, but on our own assumptions.
The desire to please
We are all in varying degrees We value the opinions of others. Few people want to be hated. Social approval greatly influences our behavior. Remember the words of the French writer and philosopher La Rochefoucauld: “We willingly admit to small shortcomings, wanting to say that we do not have more important ones.”
How does hatred manifest itself?
Physical and heartache- a very effective incentive. We don't want to suffer, so we strive to either avoid or destroy the enemy. In other words, hatred is a defense mechanism against pain.
Hatred can find different expressions. The most obvious of them is war.
Moreover, it manifests itself in politics. Remember these eternal confrontations: left and right, nationalists and communists, libertarians and authoritarians.
How to get rid of hatred
- First, through prolonged close contact with people. Collaboration is especially effective when you collaborate to achieve a common goal or unite against a common enemy.
- Secondly, thanks to equal status in all aspects (education, income, rights), which will not only apply on paper.
- And finally, and most obviously, we must realize own feelings and try not to dismiss the feelings of others. When you are overcome by strong emotions, it is better to simply step aside, take a deep breath and try to get rid of your prejudices.
