Psychological tricks: how to influence people. Ways to influence people. The best method of influence

Before we begin, it is worth noting that none of the methods listed below fall under what can be called the “dark art of influencing” people. Anything that could harm a person or affect his dignity is not included here. These are ways in which you can win friends and influence people using psychology without making anyone feel bad about themselves.

Ask for a favor

Cunning: Ask someone to do a favor for you (known as the Benjamin Franklin effect). Legend has it that Benjamin Franklin once wanted to win the favor of a man who didn't like him. He asked the man to lend him a rare book, and when he received it, he thanked him very kindly. As a result, the man who didn't really want to even talk to Franklin became friends with him. In the words of Franklin: “He who has once done you a good deed will be more disposed to do something good for you again than one to whom you yourself are indebted.” Scientists decided to test this theory, and eventually found that those people whom the researcher asked for a personal favor were much more favorable towards the specialist compared to other groups of people.
Influence on human behavior

Aim higher

Cunning: always ask for more than you initially need and then lower the bar. This technique is sometimes called the “door-in-the-face approach.” You turn to a person with a request that is really too high, which he will most likely refuse. After that, you return with a “lower rank” request, namely with what you actually need from this person. This trick may seem counterintuitive to you, but the idea is that the person will feel bad after rejecting you. However, he will explain this to himself as the unreasonableness of the request. Therefore, the next time you turn to him with your real need, he will feel obligated to help you. Scientists, after testing this principle in practice, came to the conclusion that it actually works, because the person who is first approached with a very “big” request, and then return to him and ask for a small one, he feels that it is he who should help you.

The influence of a name on a person.

Call names

Cunning: Use the person's name or title as appropriate. Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, believes that mentioning a person's name frequently in conversation is incredibly important. He emphasizes that a person’s name in any language is the sweetest combination of sounds for him. Carnegie says that a name is the main component of human identity, therefore, when we hear it, we once again receive confirmation of our importance. This is why we feel more positive towards a person who confirms our importance in the world. However, using a title or other form of address in a speech can also have a strong impact. The idea is that if you behave like a certain type of person, then you will become that person. This is somewhat like a prophecy. To use this technique to influence other people, you can address them as you would like them to be. As a result, they will begin to think of themselves in this way. It's very simple if you want to get close to a certain person, then call him “friend”, “comrade” more often. Or, when referring to someone you would like to work for, you can call him “boss.” But keep in mind that sometimes this can backfire on you.

The influence of words on a person.

Flatter

Cunning: flattery can get you where you need to go. This may seem obvious at first glance, but there are some important caveats. To begin with, it is worth noting that if flattery is not sincere, then it will most likely do more harm than good. However, scientists who have studied flattery and people's reactions to it have discovered several very important things. Simply put, people always try to maintain cognitive balance by trying to organize their thoughts and feelings in a similar way. Therefore, if you flatter a person whose self-esteem is high, and the flattery is sincere, he will like you more, because the flattery will coincide with what he thinks about himself. However, if you flatter someone whose self-esteem is suffering, there may be negative consequences.

It is likely that he will treat you worse because it does not intersect with how he perceives himself. Of course, this does not mean that a person with low self-esteem should be humiliated.

Ways to influence people.

Reflect other people's behavior

Cunning: Be a mirror image of the other person's behavior. Mirroring behavior is also known as mimicry, and it is something that certain types of people have in their nature. People with this skill are called chameleons because they try to blend in with their environment by copying others' behavior, mannerisms, and even speech. However, this skill can be used quite deliberately and is a great way to get liked. Researchers studied mimicry and found that those who were copied had very favorable attitudes towards the person who copied them. Experts also came to another, more interesting conclusion. They found that people who had role models had much more favorable attitudes toward people in general, even those who weren't involved in the study. It is likely that the reason for this reaction lies in the following. Having someone who mirrors your behavior validates your worth. People feel more confident in themselves, thus they are happier and have good attitude towards other people.

Psychology of influencing people.

Take advantage of fatigue

Cunning: ask for a favor when you see that the person is tired. When a person is tired, he becomes more receptive to any information, be it a simple statement about something or a request. The reason is that when a person gets tired, it happens not only in physical level, his mental energy reserves are also depleted. When you make a request to a tired person, most likely you will not get a definite answer right away, but will hear: “I will do it tomorrow,” because he will not want to make any decisions for this moment. The next day, most likely, the person will actually comply with your request, because on a subconscious level, most people try to keep their word, so we make sure that what we say matches what we do.

Psychological influence on a person.

Offer something that a person cannot refuse

Cunning: start the conversation with something that the other person cannot refuse, and you will achieve what you need. This back side door-in-your-face approach. Instead of starting the conversation with a request, you start with something small. As soon as a person agrees to help you in small ways, or simply agrees to something, you can use the “heavy artillery.” Experts have tested this theory using marketing approaches. They started by asking people to show their support for protecting rainforests and environment, which is a very simple request. Once support has been received, scientists have found that it is now much easier to convince people to buy products that contribute to this support. However, you should not start with one request and immediately move on to another. Psychologists have found that it is much more effective to take a break of 1-2 days.

Techniques for influencing people.

Keep calm

Cunning: You should not correct a person when he is wrong. In his famous book, Carnegie also emphasized that one should not tell people that they are wrong. This, as a rule, will lead to nothing, and you will simply fall out of favor with this person. There is actually a way to show disagreement while still having a polite conversation, without telling anyone that they are wrong, but by striking the other person's ego to the core. The method was invented by Ray Ransberger and Marshall Fritz. The idea is quite simple: instead of arguing, listen to what the person is saying and then try to understand how they feel and why. You should then explain to the person the points you share with them and use that as a starting point to clarify your position. This will make him more sympathetic to you and he will be more likely to listen to what you have to say without losing face.

The influence of people on each other.

Repeat the words of your interlocutor

Cunning: paraphrase what the person says and repeat what they said. This is one of the most amazing ways to influence other people. This way you show your interlocutor that you really understand him, capture his feelings and your empathy is sincere. That is, by paraphrasing the words of your interlocutor, you will achieve his favor very easily. This phenomenon is known as reflective listening. Research has shown that when doctors use this technique, people open up more to them and their “collaboration” is more fruitful. It's easy to use when chatting with friends too. If you listen to what they say and then paraphrase what they said, forming a question for confirmation, they will feel very comfortable with you. You will have a stronger friendship and they will listen more actively to what you say because you have managed to show that you care about them.

Methods of influencing people.

Nod your head

Cunning: Nod your head a little during a conversation, especially if you want to ask your interlocutor for something. Scientists have found that when a person nods while listening to someone, they are more likely to agree with what is being said. They also found that if the person you are talking to nods, most of the time you will also nod. This is understandable because people often unconsciously imitate the behavior of another person, especially one with whom interaction will benefit them. So if you want to add weight to what you say, nod regularly while speaking. The person you're talking to will have a hard time not nodding and will start to feel positive about the information you're presenting without even realizing it.

Each of us would like to be able to influence other people, because this ability is truly priceless. Knowing how to influence a person psychologically, you can achieve a lot in life. You can easily resolve everyday issues that arise in Everyday life, you will step up the career ladder, become an informal leader among friends and the most valuable employee at work, family members with dear souls will carry out all your instructions, in general, new prospects will loom on the horizon for you. You can force a person to do what you require in two ways - through explicit coercion or by manipulating his consciousness for your own purposes.

How to influence people using direct coercion methods

Methods of overt coercion include, first of all, threats, blackmail or banal bribery. We often unconsciously resort to similar methods when communicating with our loved ones or subordinates. Remember how often you told your child: “If you don’t learn your homework, you won’t play on the computer,” but this is real blackmail. Yes, and bribery is not always a monetary bribe to an official; a chocolate bar for a fiver in a diary is also a kind of bribery. Such methods are too straightforward and do not always bring the expected result, although we must give them their due, sometimes they turn out to be very effective, especially when communicating with people who, in one way or another, depend on you.

How to influence the human psyche. Basic Techniques

It is much more difficult to influence people who do not depend on you either financially or emotionally. And here, in order to achieve what you want, all sorts of manipulations are used, allowing, unnoticed by the “victim” herself, to influence her making the decision you need or help push her to perform the action you need. Moreover, this should be done in such a way that the “victim” of your psychological experiments is sure that she herself came to this thought and chose exactly how she should act.

First way

Psychologists assure that a person who has already fulfilled your small request once will be more compliant in the future, and there is a high probability that he will agree to do something more significant for you in the future. This is explained by the fact that a person involuntarily begins to feel needed by another person and, on a subconscious level, considers himself morally obligated to remain so in the future. For this technique to work, your first request must be easy for him, and, at the same time, you must make it clear that its fulfillment is vital for you. After it is completed, you must sincerely and warmly thank the person, not forgetting to emphasize several times how much you now owe him - this will help consolidate success, because it has long been noticed that we are all more willing to fulfill the requests of those who owe us than those to whom they themselves owe something.

Second way

This method is the direct opposite of the first. Try first asking for something much more than what you actually expect. Having received a natural and quite expected refusal, lower the bar and ask for what you really need. Most likely, you will get what you want, because refusing a second time is already somehow inconvenient - you can be branded as a stingy and callous person, and the second request, compared to the first, already seems like a mere trifle.

Third way

Most often, this method is used by teenagers when communicating with each other, but if used skillfully, it can also be effective on fully grown, independent people. If you want to get decisive action from a person, you can try to take him, what is called “weakly”. Provocative statements like: “You are certainly not capable of doing this!” may encourage some people to do things that are unusual for them.

Fourth method

You can pretend to be a helpless “sheep” - defenseless, weak and inexperienced. People by nature are compassionate creatures, they will take pity on the “poor guy” and do his work for him. Another category of people believes that it is easier to do the necessary work quickly and efficiently than to tinker with someone who is incompetent, explain everything to him several times, and then redo it all over again. Thus, a cunning manipulator achieves his goal anyway - either out of pity or out of irritation, people still work for him. In addition, the person who feels sorry for you inevitably becomes more flexible, so it is easier to persuade him to fulfill any of your requests.

Fifth method

Flattery has an almost irresistible effect on a person; few people are able to resist it. A well-timed compliment, praise of existing merits and attribution of non-existent ones, approval of all words and actions have a relaxing effect on a person and cause goodwill towards you. Therefore, he has a desire to do something nice for you, make concessions and fulfill your request. You also need to be able to flatter. If you are going to flatter, do it subtly and unnoticeably. Unbridled stormy praise and irrepressible admiration is rude flattery, which is unlikely to help you achieve what you want, since a smart person will soon sense the catch in it.

We all want to be surrounded by strong, inspiring and influential people to look up to. Do you want to be one of these people? You can develop character, improve interpersonal skills, increase your credibility, gain respect, and attract the attention of others. Start influencing people.

1. Developing a Strong Character

1.1 Be positive. If you want to become an influencer, you will quickly learn that a positive attitude works better than a negative one. People are drawn to and want to be influenced by those who are friendly and willing to teach, rather than by those who are strict and critical of everyone.

If you're going to criticize someone's work, give advice, or suggest an alternative solution, start with praise. Instead of starting with criticism, say, "That's a great idea, but what if we try something a little different..."

Avoid conversation topics that involve complaints or criticism. Talk about what you like, not about things that annoy you. People are more likely to spend time with someone who likes to have fun and talk about nice things.

1.2 Know your strengths. Influential people- those who know how to use their advantages. What do you do well? What do you do better than most other people? Recognizing and highlighting your strengths is a great way to influence others.

If you are your harshest critic, listen to what others have to say. What are you often praised for? What elevates you in the eyes of other people?
Try writing a list of your accomplishments and linking each one to something you think you do well. It can be wonderful and in a simple way identify your main strengths.

1.3 Improve your skills public speaking. If you are a man of few words and cannot speak your mind, it will be difficult for you to become an influencer. Influential people learn to speak their minds and voice their ideas clearly and in just a few words. You must be convincing.

Speak clearly and loudly when you want to get attention. Don't shout down others, but make sure you can be heard. It's hard to influence someone when you're mumbling.

1.4 Be an expert in your field. If you want to influence others, you need much more than just beautiful words and ability to manipulate. There must be specific skills and expertise behind your words. You must back up your words with action, this will strengthen your influence.

If you want to influence friends, co-workers or family members, take extra time to study and research the topics you talk about and the things you do, from work to hobbies. Stay up to date, always one step ahead and apply knowledge in practice.

Be “higher, faster, stronger.” Be the first to arrive at the office and the last to leave. Spend extra time on everyday matters and let your actions speak for you. Make an effort to be the best at everything you do. Even if it doesn't work out, your efforts will have an impact.

1.5 Be charismatic. Charisma is an important component of influence. It's hard to say how to develop something that's hard to define, but a big part of charisma is the ability to feel at ease. Charisma is self-confidence. To influence others, be relaxed, confident in what you say, confident in your position, and that your words matter.

Make the ordinary interesting.

Being charismatic is no more difficult than knowing when to remain silent. Create a slight aura of mystery around yourself by staying out of the conversation instead of participating in the conversation as usual, and you will be surprised. People will be curious to know your opinion. Influence in silence.

1.6 Be persuasive. It is easier to influence others when your arguments are plausible, consistent and convincing. In everything from the way you carry yourself to the way you speak, project an image of someone who is trustworthy.

Admit your mistakes. Influential people also know when to admit when they are wrong and discard a bad idea or flawed argument. Being influential does not mean always being right or convincing others that you are right when they are not.

17.7 Inspire people. A person who inspires, inspires confidence and trust in others, influences their decisions, spreading confidence around them. You don't have to be the smartest, the best, or the loudest. People should feel that communicating with you is beneficial to them. Easier said than done, but the ability to inspire is often the sum of many other abilities that make you influential. Be positive, speak well and you will inspire others.

2. Influence on others

2.1 Identify who you most need to influence. If you want to expand your influence, it's important to take the time to determine who is more important than others. At the top are you in power or at the bottom social hierarchy, choose people who matter and can influence the situation, or those who will follow you and share your ideas.

Don't waste your time on people who don't matter. There is no point in influencing everyone with whom life brings you. If your coworker has no power over you, is uncooperative, and annoys you, ignore him.

2.2 Be honest. Truth and influence go hand in hand. Make it your goal to be as honest as possible with the people you want to influence. If you don't like an idea a colleague comes to you with, be honest and tell him so as kindly as possible. Don't gloss over inconvenient truths, set yourself the goal of being truthful, and people will respect you.

Directness can be off-putting, or it can be encouraging and influential. But it is important to develop a sense of tact and feel the line between honesty and the danger of hurting someone’s feelings.

2.3 Establish rapport in conversation. When you interact with people face to face, practice building rapport and establishing an atmosphere of trust. Good communication skills involve more than saying the right things. To build rapport, make sure you:

Maintain distance and personal space boundaries
Look people in the eyes
Breathe evenly and speak in a calm tone
Choose the right words

2.4 Learn to anticipate the behavior of others. If you can guess in advance what a person will say, it will be easier for you to influence. Work on organizing your thoughts and thinking about what to say in advance so you don't have to think and speak at the same time, choosing words on the fly. Anticipate the reactions and responses of others so that you can think first and speak later.

2.5 Be willing to cooperate. Negotiating and finding solutions is an important part of being influential. Working together to find the best ideas makes others feel like you're willing to listen and hear. Make sure you take into account several possible options and give others the opportunity to provide input. Make it a team task.

Let others claim your ideas as their own. If you are confident that you have the correct answer, demonstrate your reasoning, but do not announce your final conclusion yet. When someone understands what you're getting at, praise their great idea, even if it's actually your idea.

3. Gaining influence

3.1 Remember names. Little things matter. There's no surer way to lose someone's affection than to say something like, "Oh, sorry, I'm so bad at remembering names." Don't be like that. Be the one who only needs to hear a name once, then talk to anyone from the mailman to the CEO as if you've known each other for years.

3.2 Listen actively when others speak. Look people in the eyes, nod when you agree, focus on the conversation. Get involved and listen carefully, you will be much more influential in conversations. Others are more likely to tell you the truth and be open if you are a good listener.

You don't have to pretend to listen attentively, really pay attention. We've all had bosses who nod along but can't make sense of what we just told them. Don't act like that. Really listen carefully to the other person and think about what they are saying to you. Don't just wait for your turn to speak.

3.5 Tap into other people's creativity. People like to feel unique, like they have good ideas that are interesting to others. If you want to influence someone, do not appeal to a sense of duty, greed, passion - appeal to the creative side of a person. Give people the opportunity to come up with new ideas and express themselves creative thinking, as well as the opportunity to share these ideas.

Praise creative concepts even if they don't meet expectations. If you have a friend who came up with a radically new idea for a small business but failed, praise his resourcefulness. Celebrate small failures.

3.4 Don't be shy about asking. If you want to influence others, lead them in the direction you want. If your boss can give you the raise you want, tell your boss you want the raise at the right time. There's no point in beating around the bush. Get straight to the point and speak from the heart. If you have good reasons and are powerful enough, you will have a better chance of getting what you want. You will never know the answer if you don't ask.

Adviсe

Decide what you are trying to achieve. Prepare a clear plan of what you want.
According to the type of perception, people are divided into three categories: visual, auditory and kinesthetic. There are signs that will serve as clues for you. Visual learners will say something like: “Did you see last news?”, while auditory learners might say, “Did you hear the latest news?” A kinesthetic learner will say, “I feel like...” if emotions are being discussed. These signals will tell you how to communicate with people to influence them.
Try using language patterns according to the Milton model. Two main categories of language patterns: cause and effect, preconditions.
Explore sales techniques - sell anything to anyone. If you want someone to pick out an envelope, for example, you can make it more attractive by bringing it forward when the person is looking at the item. The person will feel as if he made the choice himself.
You can also pause and speak a little louder when you say the number of the envelope you want the person to choose.
If you want the person to agree with you, nod. People won’t notice this, but their subconscious will.

Nothing happens “just like that”—emotions do not arise, feelings and sympathies are not born. Whether you feel sad or happy, whether you like it or not - all emotions pass through the subconscious. You don't notice most of what's stored in it, and as a result you think that all feelings are "random."

Now imagine that you know how to plant a thought or feeling in another person's subconscious. There are huge opportunities before you, you just need to practice.

Built-in Commands - Speech Traps

An embedded message is a part of a phrase that is emphasized by intonation or gesture. A person may not pay attention to it, but it has already made its way into the subconscious and settled there.

How it works: you say to your nervous friend: “I had an acquaintance who, even during a search, behaved calm and confident" You pronounce the part of the phrase in italics with a different intonation. The person who is listening to you is thinking about your friend or the search, and at this time the built-in command “calmly and confidently” orders him to behave this way.

Another example: You need to create a friendly atmosphere in the company, make people feel relaxed and comfortable. You begin to tell any story, emphasizing words such as “pleasant”, “relaxed”, “happiness” with intonation. The story could be about your favorite cat, a new movie, or last weekend's adventures. People pick up on positive words and automatically apply them to themselves as a command to relax and be happy. As a result, the atmosphere will become more fun and relaxed.

Rules of hidden influence

Remember, the most important thing about hidden commands is the two levels of perception. Do not combine them in meaning, otherwise your command will only influence consciousness.

The phrase: “Let's relax and have fun now” will not have a strong effect. People will understand your call, it will not penetrate their subconscious, and you will see the same sad faces. And if you tell any story with hidden commands: “Last Friday we relaxed be in a bar on N street, and fun was just beginning,” the mood in the company will gradually improve.

Clear intonation

Change your intonation only on the phrase that needs to be highlighted. All other words surrounding your hidden commands should sound normal, otherwise the effect will be washed out. You can even use short pauses before and after the hidden command.

Attention to words

You need to be extremely careful and attentive with hidden commands. Beware of negative hidden commands, they can not only create a bad mood in a person, but also provide you with antipathy on his part.

Practice with your surroundings - tell a couple of stories and see how the mood of a friend or employee changes.

Just don’t expect miracles - if your friend’s wife left and took away half of the furniture, your story with the “relaxation and joy” command is unlikely to make him incredibly happy.

The ability to influence people is a vital skill in the real world. This will allow you to help people or encourage them to see the situation from your point of view. This article will help you hone the art of influencing people.

Steps

Part 1

relationship building

Be sociable. A friendly and outgoing nature goes a long way when it comes to influencing the people around you. People respond to people who feel at ease and are more likely to follow their lead.

• Smile. People are drawn to a friendly smile. This makes you seem approachable and reliable.
• Ask questions. Engage other people in conversations. Show interest in them and they will become more open and responsive.
• Plan activities. Take the initiative and organize a group trip, such as a hike or a concert. This way you will earn a lot of points.

1. Address people by name. People are more likely to respond when they hear your name because it makes your message more personal to them.

   • Remembering someone's name will make you look like interesting person paying close attention to detail.
   • Using your first name is a sign of respect and a way to show the other person that you are interested in them.

2. Actively participate in discussions. Relationships are a two-way street. It's about about reciprocity. You should not use conversation only to convey your ideas and opinions without even giving the other person a chance to speak. You also shouldn't be silent, no one likes talking to themselves.

   • Try to find a balance between listening and talking.
   • Ask questions, listen politely to the answers, and respond accordingly.

3. Talk about others' interests. Showing interest in the other person's hobbies is also a great way to demonstrate interest in other people. This is also one of the best ways getting to know someone better, which is the basis of building a relationship. Even the most modest person will open up if you bring up his favorite topic.

   • If you know that your interlocutor likes to read, ask what he read in Lately, or ask to recommend a book for you.
   • If the person is interested in rock climbing, ask how they did it for the first time, or if they could take you with them one day.
   • Try not to talk about your interests too much. Remember, your goal is to make the person feel that you are interested in them. Of course, if the other person is interested in hearing about your recent skydiving experience, don't be reluctant to talk about it.

4. Respect the opinions of others. It is important to always respect other people's opinions, even during disagreements. It is not necessary to reach an agreement, but it is important to give the person the opportunity to express their opinions and beliefs without contradicting or belittling them. Relationships are built on trust and mutual respect, so it's important to recognize and accept your differences.

   Secure your place in the social circle. Gain a position in your social circle by becoming a respected friend or acquaintance of as many people in that circle as possible. This will increase influence and power over this circle as a whole.

   • Don't walk around looking bored if your friend introduces you to a new group of people. Don't miss the opportunity. Interact and try to get to know them better, you never know who you might meet!
   • Talk to people in your circle who you don't usually talk to. Try to become friends with them for their own sake, and not just because you know them through someone else.
   • Organize a party or other group activity and invite as many friends, acquaintances, and friends of friends as possible, and then socialize!

Part 2

good reputation

1. Admit your mistakes first. If you are wrong, be sure to admit it quickly and decisively. If you don't do this, you can very quickly create an atmosphere of hostility. Therefore, if you want to build a relationship on trust and respect, admit your mistakes as soon as you realize them. People will admire your honesty, and honesty inspires trust.

2. Point out mistakes in a helpful, indirect way. If you need to point out someone else's mistakes, do so in a constructive and positive manner. The last thing you want is to make the other person feel small or stupid. If you comment in a humble and practical way, you are more likely to be heard and taken into account.

   • If you want to help the person avoid embarrassment, say something like, "Anatoly, I noticed that you're eating your salad with a dinner fork. It's not that big of a deal, but maybe the end fork would be more convenient. If you want, you can just watch that I do." Helping a person avoid embarrassment is an honor.
   • If you're helping someone by reviewing papers or a written report, try starting with a compliment and then pointing out what else needs work: "Julia, you did a great job on that report! It's really interesting, but I left out some information." , which I think you should check again. I'm not sure it's 100% correct."
   • Don't correct people in a harsh, condescending, direct, rude, or irritated manner.
   • Never correct someone in front of another person. Do this face to face.

3. Gain experience. If you have extensive knowledge on a topic, it's worth making that fact known, especially if that knowledge could potentially be used to help other people. Don't brag about your knowledge and don't talk about it endlessly. You will look like an arrogant person, and people will not ask you for help. Just let them know about your abilities and that you would be happy to help people if needed.

   • If you are known as a financial expert, your friends may turn to you for money advice. They may feel more comfortable communicating with someone they know and trust.
   • If you speak fluently foreign language, let people know that you would be happy to help them prepare for an exam or a trip abroad.

4. Live a pure life that can serve as an example. If you want to influence people, it is important to be worthy of respect an example to follow. It is necessary to live life to the fullest and strive to be a good man. Some ways to achieve this include:

   • Good job.
   • Taking care of your appearance.
   • Healthy eating and good physical shape.
   • No drug or alcohol abuse.
   • Interests and hobbies.
   • Respect for others.

5. Demonstrate a willingness to learn. Having strong opinions and beliefs is a good trait, but it is also important to be open to innovation and learn from experience.

   • Strive to expand your horizons. Engage in stimulating and thought-provoking discussions, read books and newspapers, and travel as much as possible.
   • Be a "yes" person. If someone offers to show you something or teach you something new, don't refuse.

Part 3

actively directing the actions of others

1. Use a friendly approach. Always start out in a friendly way if you want other people to adopt your way of thinking. Avoid being bossy and demanding. Ask questions to which they will answer yes.

   • For example, try saying, “Hey, I'm going grocery shopping, want to join me?”
   • Or, "God, I'm tired. It wouldn't be a bad idea to stay home and watch a movie today, would it?"