Every woman dreams of happy family, a successful career, eventful and interesting life. But self-doubt, which serves as a kind of barrier to achieving your goals, does not allow you to implement all your plans. People are afraid to look for a new job because they know in advance that they won’t cope; they are afraid to end long-term, meaningless relationships because they know in advance that no one will love them anymore. How many chances in life do people miss because they know in advance about the impending failure. Low self-esteem in a woman suppresses at the initial stage the desire to achieve something in life due to the fear of failure. The feeling of inferiority does not allow self-realization and achieving certain heights in life. IN modern psychology There are several methods that allow a woman to increase her self-esteem and look at the world with new eyes.
How to increase self-confidence
By the word “self-esteem,” psychologists understand a personal assessment of one’s qualities, capabilities, and place in society. Currently, a woman’s quality of life, the success of her career, Family status, her attitude towards failures and victories. These indicators are extremely important for a modern woman - a leader who successfully combines family concerns and a successful career. Sooner or later, every girl asks herself the question: how to love herself and increase self-esteem, because the success of her entire future life depends on this.
Psychologists say that self-esteem directly depends on the amount of success achieved in a girl’s life and the number of claims she has against herself. The more successes and fewer claims to your own personality, the higher your self-esteem. Only she herself can raise a woman's self-esteem. This is difficult and lengthy work that requires some effort. Most importantly, the girl should have a desire to change her life for the better, and everything else is a matter of technique.
- First of all, stay away from people who make you feel own inferiority. Reconsider your social circle, perhaps there are “energy vampires” in it.
- Keep a diary in which you write down your small victories. A compliment from your husband, employees appreciated your new hairstyle, you coped with a difficult job, and so on. Perhaps you are so accustomed to the daily routine that you do not notice your own achievements.
- Love yourself for who you are. Accept your figure, eye color, height and don’t dwell on your own shortcomings. Believe me, among the many beauties and skinny women there are a lot of unhappy women.
- Make it a habit to stop making excuses all the time. Listen to the advice of psychologists - if you made a mistake, simply apologize, but do not beg for forgiveness. A woman’s self-esteem largely depends on the attitude of others towards her; how you behave is how other people will treat you.
- Don't be jealous. Each person has his own life path, in which there are successes and disappointments, ups and downs. By envying more successful people, you destroy your self-confidence, believing that you cannot achieve the same. Think about it: you probably have something that others don’t have.
- If you have achieved some success, don’t brag, people don’t like upstarts. Conduct yourself with dignity.
When considering the problem of how to increase a woman’s self-esteem, one cannot ignore the question of appearance. For every girl, her own appearance is business card which requires careful care. It is impossible to increase self-esteem by rejecting your own body. You can often hear the phrase: “There’s no time to take care of yourself!” Get rid of this stereotype immediately. Analyze your day, perhaps you are wasting time on unimportant things, while missing the most important thing - your appearance. Take time to care for your hair, skin, and nails. A well-groomed girl attracts attention, and this always lifts your spirits.
- Change your wardrobe. It's rare that a woman will refuse shopping. Reconsider your things, they may not match yours inner world and have a depressing effect. Swap sneakers for high-heeled shoes, jeans for a skirt, shapeless sweaters for elegant blouses and cardigans. Now look at your mirror image. Most likely, the new spectacular lady looking at you from the mirror will not suffer from low self-confidence. Use clothes and makeup to turn flaws into advantages.
- Don't impose or curry favor with others. Trying to please everyone, you lose your individuality. Offer your help if needed, but never be intrusive.
- Drive away laziness. Don't waste your time lying on the couch watching TV. Find something interesting to do that will keep you busy. free time and bring pleasure.
- Increasing a woman's self-esteem directly depends on her intellectual development. Don't watch endless TV series, but rather pick up an interesting book or go to the theater. Raising self-esteem directly depends on self-development and personal growth.
- Look at yourself from the outside, are others interested in you? If you like to gossip and all conversations come down to new rags and TV series, change urgently. Not everyone goes to communicate at this level, and then perhaps the circle of your acquaintances will expand significantly.
- Learn not to blush and mumble. If you get a compliment, you don’t need to look away and mutter something like: “Oh, come on!”, or “I’m just like this today, I usually don’t use makeup,” and so on. Accept attention with dignity, hold your gaze, and then low self-esteem will skyrocket.
With the help of the listed recommendations and exercises, you can increase your self-confidence and feel a surge of energy to achieve your goals. Work on yourself regularly, but don’t overdo it; an inappropriately inflated self-esteem is no better than a feeling of inferiority.
What affects a woman's self-esteem
Many factors influence your inner sense of self: social status, income level, education, appearance and much more. The list can be continued indefinitely, and each individual also has his own little point, known only to him. Live in modern society leaves a certain imprint on people’s perception of the world; we all directly depend on existing this moment stereotypes. Depending on the place occupied by a woman in the social hierarchy, her personal self-esteem. Conventionally, the following factors can be identified that influence high or low self-esteem.
Upbringing
Education plays a huge role in the life of every girl. If she has been told from an early age that she is ugly and a failure, it is difficult for a young person to enter adulthood confident in her own abilities. Signs of low self-esteem in women begin in early childhood, where she may have been “ ugly duckling“and did not receive proper support from family and friends.
Physical and spiritual condition
Very often on women's forums the question is asked how to increase the self-esteem of a girl suffering from excess weight. Agree, it’s difficult to feel confident and at ease if passersby turn to look at you on the street. We will not touch upon the issue of getting rid of excess weight, this is a separate topic, but, nevertheless, the problem exists and requires a solution.
Existing stereotypes
If a woman is used to thinking of herself as a loser, sooner or later others will begin to treat her that way.
Strength of character
The fight against complexes and existing shortcomings makes the female character strong and stress-resistant. If a girl manages to get rid of, for example, excess weight, she becomes more confident in her abilities and achieves other goals.
Low self-esteem in women most often arises under the influence of the opinions of others. First of all, you need to decide what is more important for you: the attitude of society or your inner sense of self. If, first of all, you want to feel comfortable regardless of the opinions of others, listen to your inner voice - what you personally need to raise your self-esteem. Meeting established standards does not always bring satisfaction. Be your own person, don't copy more successful people, and then your individuality will attract attention.
A lot of literature has been written on the topic of how to deal with low self-esteem, and if all the information is summarized, the main aspects stand out:
The excellent student syndrome is the first enemy of self-confidence
Any task must be carried out responsibly, but some women place too high demands on their responsibilities. For example, an ordinary everyday situation: you need to do a whole bunch of things on the weekend, the list is simply endless. You are used to taking a responsible approach to doing your homework, but the unexpected happens: the electricity goes out. You don’t have time to do even half of what you planned and begin to reproach and scold yourself. As a result, your self-esteem decreases and you feel like a failure. Don't set yourself difficult tasks, and then you won't have to be disappointed by their failure.
Self-criticism is the second enemy of self-confidence
Self-criticism is important for any personal growth of a person. Who, if not a woman, knows in what case she needs to give “that magic kick” to get things moving. But excessive self-criticism can lead to irreversible consequences when a woman becomes unable to accept the simplest independent decision without the help of others.
Lack of self esteem
If you don’t respect yourself, how can others do the same? Unconfident girls forget about their own strengths, focusing on their shortcomings. Write your best qualities on a piece of paper and read them several times a day. This exercise will give you confidence in your own abilities and increase your self-esteem.
Our self-esteem affects all areas of life. On our self-image, on the decisions and actions we take, and on our achievements. For a woman, no less than for a man, it is important to have healthy self-esteem and be confident. We will look in detail at how to increase a woman’s self-esteem and self-confidence in this article.
Based on self-esteem, whether it is high or low, it is clearly written in our heads what is good and what is bad. What is right and what is wrong. How we should look and behave. How our other half should look and behave. How our children and other people’s children should behave, etc. It all depends on how highly we value ourselves and how much our real ideas about ourselves conflict with our ideals.
What are self-esteem and self-image made of?
Self-esteem constantly changes throughout life due to different circumstances and people who surround us.
Self-esteem can be of two types:
- Internal;
- External.
Internal or individual, this is how a person evaluates himself according to various criteria.
Such as:
- Quality of character;
- Abilities: physical, intellectual, creative, communication, etc.;
- The level of your achievements for your age in all areas of life.
External or collective self-esteem. This self-esteem shows the level of importance in the social environment in which a person is or wants to be. His external data, valuable character traits, skills or achievements for a given environment.
Psychological research shows that self-esteem built on internal grounds is more comfortable for a person than built on external grounds.
This self-esteem is more stable. Such people overcome difficulties better and more easily and are not tormented by constant doubts that something is wrong with them when someone looks askance at them.
6 main reasons for low self-esteem in women
Low self-esteem comes from childhood. Yes, as strange as it may seem, the root of the problem lies in our distant childhood.
1 Reason. Perhaps you had a childhood in which you lacked praise and support. And there remains a great resentment towards your parents, who, in your opinion, did not give you something, did not love you. But childhood is the past, and you live in the present.
Every adult is free to be responsible for his own actions and decisions. There is no need to blame parents and their upbringing methods for problems and failures. The moment has come when you need to take responsibility for your happiness and confidence.
2 Reason. Envy. The formation of self-esteem coming from childhood was greatly influenced by the people we envied at that time. It was they who reflected a stronger influence on the formation of our personality than our close friends and acquaintances that we had then.
3 Reason. Your partner. Perhaps you are unlucky and instead of someone who is loving and caring, you are next to a man who negatively influences you. With words and actions, trampling all female confidence and self-belief.
I think that this situation familiar to many women. But only a few are able to change anything. Silently and resignedly they endure humiliation and wild mental pain for years.
4 Reason. Social standards. Some women simply torture themselves in front of the mirror. “Why am I so ugly?” and “Who needs me?” etc. Such women are very susceptible to the influence of society. It is he who dictates to them the standards of beauty and success that they must possess at all costs. Therefore, they are always dissatisfied with their appearance and their life. And then depression and emptiness in the soul. There's no time for confidence here high self-esteem.
Most women's problems appear due to lack of love and self-doubt!
5 Reason. Negative experiences from the past. Every person in life has encountered situations when either he was shown in a bad light by other people, or he himself committed actions after which he did not feel very good. All these situations undermine a person’s faith in himself and his strength. Many women, engaged in “soul-searching,” do not give themselves peace. Fantasizing on the topic: “What would it be like if this never happened to me?” These thoughts, literally, occupy the entire space surrounding the woman.
6 Reason. Excessive anxiety. Anxious people are more likely to have low self-esteem. They read negativity from the surrounding space, which could hypothetically threaten them. The key danger from environment, for such a person, another person can speak with his opinion, with his assessment, with his attitude. Therefore, it is often very difficult for anxious people to have high self-esteem.
Have you ever asked yourself the question: How is confidence different from self-confidence?
Confidence is based on real achievements, and self-confidence is not based on anything, this is a kind of internal state of “I’m cool.” Self-confident people try to prove their confidence to other people. Confident man really confident in himself, he doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone.
How a woman can increase her self-esteem and self-confidence - 8 simple steps
It is necessary to build a strategy for developing your self-esteem:
- It is extremely important to learn to love yourself. Loving yourself means treating yourself with respect, dignity, and reverence. To do this, you need to give yourself compliments and praise yourself. Be sure to repeat the words out loud. And it doesn’t matter what others think about you. Modesty may adorn a woman, but this is not the case. You need to love yourself, and for this you need training:
“What delicious pies I have, I’m a super housewife,” “What beautiful eyes I have,” etc.
- Never beat yourself up. If you did something wrong, say: “I am smart and happy, and every mistake is a step towards perfection.”
- Filter what other people say about you. If in your presence someone said that you did not act very well or that you had let yourself go and gained extra pounds. Stop such conversations with the words: “You don’t need to talk about me like that. These are my favorite kilograms, I’ll deal with them myself.”
- Some women are too complex and uptight. It is very difficult to tell yourself something very pleasant, to praise yourself with it. In this case, you can do it gradually. For example, instead of “I am a gorgeous woman,” you can say “I beautiful woman" Think of the praise you want to hear addressed to you from other people. Speak words that you truly believe.
- Surround yourself with people with high self-esteem. If there are people with low self-esteem next to you, they try to raise it at the expense of others. Such people can humiliate and insult. This happens unconsciously to them, as it is a common defensive reaction.
Your environment should consist of people who love what they do.
A very good option for such acquaintances are all kinds of trainings and seminars on different topics. There you can meet people with common views and interests.
- Start something new. If you want to feel your strength, you have to lift weights. Everyone has power, but not everyone knows about it. The more often you try something new, the more strengths you will see in yourself.
Many women are looking for something they like and cannot find it. However, if they look into the very depths of our consciousness, then for sure there will be a very cool idea there. Even the craziest one. The main thing is that you like her. Take the first step towards its implementation. Perhaps a new business will bring you not only self-confidence, but also good income. Which is also important for a complete personality.
- You shouldn't chase other people's successes. No matter how successful you are, there will always be someone who will be more successful than you. It lowers your self-esteem, in your own eyes. Be yourself in any circumstances.
- There is no need to tell and show everyone your genius and superiority. If you truly are a self-sufficient person, people will see and understand this.
I am sure that you, even just by reading this article, have become several percent more confident in yourself. After all, you found the strength and time to study this topic in detail. This means only one thing - you strive for self-development and self-knowledge. That which is the basis of everything that is stated in this article.
Want to check your self-esteem right now?
If yes, then I suggest you take this test. It was developed by M.A. Panfilova for diagnosing children. However, psychologists actively use it to diagnose adults, slightly changing and adapting some interpretations.
Test "Cactus". Take a sheet of A4 paper, a pen or pencil. Before testing begins, you need to answer 3 questions:
- What is my self-esteem?
- How confident am I?
- How much do I need the care and attention of my loved ones?
After completing the test, it will become clear whether your opinion about yourself and the test results coincide.
Test instructions:
- A sheet of paper is placed on the table in a vertical position;
- Let's draw a cactus. Only you decide what it will be like. You are given complete freedom of your imagination.
Test results:
Fold your piece of patterned paper in half. A line appears in the middle of the picture. This is the line of self-esteem.
- If the fold line runs through the middle of your drawing, then this indicates healthy, adequate self-esteem.
- If the drawing is above the fold line, then this indicates inflated self-esteem.
- If the drawing is below the fold line, then self-esteem is low.
- The vertical line in the middle is the present line;
- The line on the left side is the line of the past;
- WITH right side, this is the line of the future.
- If a vertical line intersects the drawing in the middle, then this indicates that you are living in the present.
- The drawing is in the left corner of the sheet - stuck in the past. Try working on your past. Perhaps something bothers you about him. Resentment, understatement, guilt, etc.
- The picture is drawn on the right side. This suggests that you are living dreams of the future. These may be your dreams that you want to realize, but never dare to do so. Think about what you can do now. Is it worth putting off for a bright future what you can already get in the present?
Now let's look at your drawing in more detail.
- A cactus is drawn in a pot. This suggests that you need home comfort and the support of loved ones. It's not that you don't have it, it's just that this moment is very important to you.
- A desert cactus is drawn. This suggests that you feel much more comfortable alone than in the company of other people. Confident in yourself and your abilities.
- Large pot and small cactus. You are in dire need of the warmth of home and the support of loved ones.
- The presence of large, closely spaced needles (spines) on a cactus is a sign of aggression. If the needles stick out and are located along the entire contour of the cactus, then this is external aggression. Which can manifest itself as quarrels with other people, an uncontrollable flow of swear words, etc.
Large needles are found only on the inside of the cactus, which indicates the presence internal aggression. She manifests herself in a constantly bad mood, not wanting to see anything good. Bitten nails and lips are also signs of this type of aggression.
- There is only one cactus in the picture - this indicates that you are an introvert, that is, a person who is more comfortable being alone. If there are several cacti drawn, then you are an extrovert - a person who likes to be in society, likes to communicate a lot, has a large circle of acquaintances, etc.
If you have one cactus, but has several small shoots, then you are a mixed type.
- By the number of shoots on a cactus, you can also determine the number of people who are significant to you today.
- The presence of flowers anywhere in your design speaks of sexuality and femininity.
- The presence of a window sill, stand or ground in the picture may indicate a person who stands firmly on his own two feet. He has his own vision of the world, goals to which he strives.
Conclusion
I would like to end this article with what, in my opinion, is a brilliant phrase said by Robert Frost:
Something we hide
will create insecurity in us,
until we recognize that this something is ourselves.
I hope this article helped you understand how a woman can increase her self-esteem and self-confidence. Perhaps you have your own secret techniques on this topic. Share them in the comments.
Good luck and patience!
What to do if you feel unworthy, ugly, boring? And many, many more negative adjectives. It is important to look inside yourself and want to fix it all. How to raise self-esteem for a girl, woman, teenager?
Perfect balance
Good and adequate self-esteem consists of 2 components: autonomy and adequacy. It is important to find balance in this so that every day, hour and minute you can be in harmony with yourself.
Autonomy
The first component is autonomy. Usually a girl knows everything about herself: who she is, what she can do, what kind of specialist she is, she knows her desires and goals. And even if the world, friends, colleagues and relatives turn 180 degrees away from her, she is always confident in her position in life. Autonomous self-esteem does not depend on critics, advisers, other people's experience, or any external stimuli.
Examples
Wrong:
- Mom, dad, I want to fly to Paris with my friends for the weekend.
- Oh no, what are you talking about! This is an unknown country. You will get lost there/your money will be stolen/you will be attacked by aliens.
- Well, yes. Then I won't fly to Paris.
Right:
- Mom, dad, I'm still flying to Paris. I have great friends. I know the language well, I know how to approach people. I know I can.
Adequacy
How to increase a girl's self-esteem and self-confidence? Your self-esteem should be adequate. You must evaluate yourself the way the world around you evaluates you.
If you dream of singing, but one of your friends told you not to do it, then don’t stop, this is just one opinion. But if a large group of authoritative people who understand music tell you something like this, then you should think about it. There is a possibility that your self-esteem is inadequate. And maybe you need to discover some other talent in yourself.
Although... that didn't stop me. And the girl rushes ahead. By the way, she is the one good example high self-esteem. A girl who has raised her profile and is making millions from it.
Never criticize yourself out loud in front of other people. There is a high probability of convincing them of this.
There is such a misconception among people: they think that their self-esteem will increase only when they lose weight, when they receive an Oscar or become a top manager at Gazprom. It's a delusion. You need to have adequate self-esteem here and now. It grows from within. And only to such people who know their importance, what they ask for comes.‼
Looking for reasons
Before we tell you how to raise a girl’s self-esteem, it is important to identify the causes of this condition. What led to the fact that you are forced to fight with yourself every day and overpower yourself?
Everything comes from childhood
This is such a hackneyed phrase that many do not pay attention to it and ignore it. Despite all its intrusiveness, in most cases all problems come from childhood.
If you had a happy childhood and you think that your problem definitely does not lie in your family, then just skip this point.
It is impossible to identify one reason for all, so we tried to collect some phrases that could be heard in one interpretation or another from the lips of your relatives:
- What a pest you are! You broke the TV/iron/don’t put toys back/don’t clean up after yourself, etc.
- Oh, you'll never be able to lose weight! No one in our family has ever lost weight. It's all genes.
- Look how well Yegor does it, and you have... hook hands.
- Well, what do you have there? Drawing? Yes, some little scribbles, stay. Not up to you now.
- There’s no need to go there, don’t even think about it. Pirates will pick you up and take you to the Caribbean!
- Well, the standard: “But the son of my mother’s friend is already sitting in the government and making laws. What have you achieved, level 80 elf? But Natasha, Aunt Lyuba’s daughter, has already gotten married, given birth to triplets and has taken out a mortgage on her apartment. Well, it’s true that I’ve already divorced, but that’s not that important.”
All of this can also include hypo- and hyper-custody, when a child runs around on his own or a parent is too protective of his child.
The tomatoes have wilted
Quite often, the reason for low self-esteem is our dearest and closest (once) person. If you start a relationship with an unconscious and unfulfilled person in life, then he will throw out all his mistakes on you.
Your shortcomings bother you because you attach excessive importance to them.
As soon as his fantasies, which he created in his head, do not coincide with reality and with your behavior, he will immediately be dissatisfied. Your partner will label you as something different. This gives rise to a huge number of complexes, because you understand that your dearest person is telling you this.
Have a nice day, everyone
Social networks and #luxurious life– these are now the main factors that can significantly reduce a person’s self-esteem. You get up in the morning, scroll through your feed and see that yesterday Lyuska said that she couldn’t lend you 1000 rubles because she doesn’t have any money herself. And today she has already posted photos from Cyprus, where she wishes everyone #GM. And many people who have some merits rate themselves very low.
Practices and techniques
How to raise self-esteem for a girl at 16 years old, at 25 years old, at 35 years old, at 40 years old? We have put together some tips for you that will help you become stronger and find yourself. You can use everything at once or just one.
Enjoy your victories
You should always start small. Keep a diary or notepad, notes in your phone will do. And every day enter your achievements, good deeds there and celebrate your positive traits:
- I took the little kitten from the tree;
- I can wash all the dishes in 20 minutes and a frying pan too;
- I found the strength to get out of bed and go to study;
- I can last 3 hours without cigarettes;
- I can eat 1500 calories to lose weight;
- I may not respond to my ex’s messages, no matter how offended I may be;
- Today I was offended by a classmate, but I was able to remain silent and adequately respond to this problem.
Try to turn everything that happens to you into advantages. If you do this technique for at least a week, you will be very surprised how much good is hidden in you. How much more can come out?
Hidden gift
In your notebook, you can write down your goals. What exactly do you want? A house, a car, a family, a vacation in the Maldives, a new iPhone... What’s stopping you from getting all this? What beliefs and blocks? But the answer to this question should be short.
- What do I want?
- Meet a status and wealthy man?
- What's stopping me?
- I `m ugly.
- What do I want?
- New phone.
- What's stopping you?
- I earn little.
As you say these phrases, you should ask yourself: Where does this belief live? How does it make me feel? Next, you need to dive your inner gaze, inside yourself, and see how exactly it lives there? What is this? Swamp? Damp hole? A dark room? Sludge? Everyone has their own association.
Try to describe this place as best you can. Just don't get distracted. Dive to the very bottom. After a couple of minutes, you should knock on the bottom and the second bottom will open. Free yourself from this state completely.
How can a girl increase her self-esteem with the help of affirmations? After the work done, write down on paper your antipodean qualities:
- Was: I `m ugly. Became: I am beautiful, I am worthy of love.
- Was: I'm irritable. Became: I react adequately and calmly to any things.
Learn to accept compliments from others. Never give them up.
Unearth your hidden gift that lies at the root of your flaw. Visualize and visualize yourself making these positive achievements as you step from your right to your left foot. You can also say motivating phrases before some extreme actions: skydiving or diving. These techniques will help “anchor” beliefs in your mind.
Custom stickers
How to increase a girl's self-esteem? Once you have collected your cool qualities, try to draw your own symbol in this state, which will reflect your positive aspects. It could be a heart, a star, your zodiac sign, a unicorn, a princess, a crown, whatever.
Make 20-30 of these stickers and simply place them throughout the room. Once you see them, you will be reminded of your positive aspects or goals. They will definitely play a role in your development.
Facing fear
How to raise the self-esteem of a teenage girl and a creepy introvert? Even if you are the most introverted introvert in the world, face your fear. Start an Instagram, post your selfies, your looks, your food, share your music. This is incredibly difficult to do, but encourage yourself to public speaking. In adequate quantities. Let them admire you, let them evaluate you.
Turn your problems into dust. Reduce their importance.
Chakra pumping
Anyone who is interested in this can try to pump up their 3rd chakra. The chakra called Manipura is responsible for our self-esteem and is located in the navel area. During meditation, you must plant the seed within yourself with the “I can!” program. It is this phrase that strengthens self-esteem and makes it autonomous.
There are two ways to pump up the chakras:
Sport
If you like to play sports, then during physical activity, scroll through your positive qualities in your head: I can cook well, I can help animals, I can enjoy life, etc. During such activities, your energy is strengthened and your self-esteem increases.
Self-esteem is an important component of our personality, which affects the further development of a person throughout his life. Unfortunately, many girls are faced with self-doubt, fear of committing actions, and fear of condemnation.
All this is a manifestation of low self-esteem. Since a person’s character is formed gradually, reacting to all the events that happen around him, low self-esteem also cannot appear suddenly.
Main reasons for uncertainty
- Childhood events are the most common cause of low self-esteem. These could be classmates at school, as well as parents, relatives, and friends. If you are constantly criticized, then you do not know any other attitude towards yourself - accordingly, you do not demand better for yourself.
- Absolute agreement with all the words of others, even if they only carry negativity and destructive criticism. Girls, remember that you cannot please everyone, so you should not take the comments of others to heart.
- Incorrectly set goals. If you expect too much and are then disappointed, self-esteem drops as girls begin to believe that they will never succeed. In fact, it’s not all about abilities, but about the correctness of the goals set.
How to increase a girl's self-esteem and self-confidence? To do this, you will have to try, since working on your own character is a long process that requires diligence and sober self-love, as well as attention from loved ones, since it is strangers, often without knowing it themselves, who have a rather strong influence on our confidence.
14 tips from psychologists for girls on self-confidence
Girls, every time you think that you don’t meet the norm, remember one main truth: everyone has their own concept of “normal.”
In psychology, in order to increase self-confidence, experts advise simply listening to your feelings, without looking at others. Only you know what will be best for you and your family. Only you know whether you are comfortable at your weight - and if so, why go on numerous diets because of sidelong glances?
One of the basic principles for increasing self-esteem, which you will probably hear from any psychologist, is the following: know how to give unselfishly, and even more will come back to you .
Smile at someone, and then soon they will smile at you too. Give someone a compliment, and then you and that person will become best friends. This principle applies not only to material earnings. First of all, this concerns the human soul and actions. Do good things for others, and then they will tell you that you are the kindest girl in the world.
Always analyze the situation. Don’t rush headlong into the pool of blaming yourself - first of all, try to soberly assess what happened. It is quite possible that it is not your fault. There’s no point in beating yourself up in vain, thereby lowering your self-esteem.
To become a confident girl, you should take note of very important psychological advice about relationships: if you are not very comfortable in them, if it’s hard for you to date someone, think about whether this is useful for your peace of mind at all. Sometimes shyness and low self-esteem pushes you to not the most reasonable actions, which then give rise to new and new problems - thus creating a cycle, a funnel that draws you in and never lets go.
How to Boost Self-Esteem and Confidence with Exercise
How to become a confident girl and increase self-esteem? There are several special exercises for this.
"With the help of loved ones"
Ask your closest people (this could be your girlfriend or spouse) to take a dozen small pieces of paper and write nice words about you on them. For example:
- “You are a very beautiful girl;
- “I admire your love for animals”;
- “you are the most devoted person I have ever met”;
- “I envy your hard work”;
- and so on.
When you have enough leaves, put them in a jar or any similar container. Take out one note every morning. If necessary, you can carry it with you to re-read in those moments when it begins to seem that you are losing self-confidence.
An important point: you cannot know what your friends wrote. Let it remain a surprise.
"All about me"
Take a piece of paper and write down positive traits of your character. Write sincerely, it is not necessary to be careful. The main thing is to relax and let all the positive emotions spill out onto paper. After this exercise you will feel relief and a slight lift.
Classic exercise against fears
According to psychologists, fears are also an important part of our self-esteem. In order to get rid of them or at least slightly weaken their effect on you, take a sheet of paper and draw what you are afraid of. Let the drawing really be frightening and repulsive.
After this, you can either crumple the sheet and throw it away, or burn it. – this will have a beneficial psychological effect on self-esteem.
"How to become confident"
It is very simple and will not cause any difficulties. To begin, imagine any human emotion - for example, joy.
Try to feign joy for some time, but no more than thirty seconds. Then immediately move on to any next emotion. They can be either positive or negative, it doesn't matter.
An important part of the exercise: as a conclusion, try to become truly confident in yourself for ten minutes. You have just tried on human masks of emotions, and confidence is exactly the same mask. Straighten your back, straighten your shoulders proudly, remember to respect yourself, treat everyone with a slight smile and joy, watch your voice . Say that you are confident in yourself. Stand in front of the mirror and repeat this several times, observing your facial expression.
Self-confidence booster
There are several ways to instill confidence in yourself and increase your self-esteem. One of them has already been touched upon above - an exercise called “How to become more confident.” Most self-hypnosis methods are similar to each other because they work according to a similar algorithm.
Working with a mirror. The mirror is our closest friend, comrade and ally, so it’s worth learning to work with it. And you don’t need to be afraid to look at yourself, because the main task is to love yourself for who you are. Evaluate your appearance in a favorable way by looking at yourself. Say compliments to yourself out loud, clearly, with understanding of what you are doing.
Letter of happiness. Write a short letter to your future self and pack it in a beautiful envelope, which must have an opening date on it - for example, in three months. Put the envelope away and forget about it until the deadline. If you are afraid that you will forget about the letter, then mark the opening day on your calendar.
The letter should not contain common phrases. Start it this way: “Hey, I know you already feel like a confident girl.” Write down what you have already achieved (“You are loved,” “I know you have found a new hobby,” “You got married, right?”).
Exercises like these create positive excitement and a desire to achieve your goals. . Little by little you will move forward towards your goal, and then when the time comes to open the letter, you will feel truly happy and more confident.
Musical accompaniment. Girls, if you love listening to music and cannot live without headphones, then record a short message to yourself on a voice recorder, where you indicate what exactly you like about your own character.
You can listen to such messages at any time. They will be extremely effective in increasing self-esteem.
You can always increase your self-esteem and self-confidence - you just need to own wish Change and enough diligence. You can always find a partner who is struggling with the same problem, and do the exercises in pairs, or simply share with each other your feelings about achieving your goals. Keep yourself a diary where you will record your progress, and re-read it whenever you give up and feel unsure.
Nothing can change instantly, but the result is worth the painstaking work on yourself. Follow the tips above, and after some time you will feel one hundred percent confident in yourself.
Video
An interesting video from which you will learn how to increase your self-esteem and become a confident girl, even if you are criticized by your friends and loved ones.
The level of self-esteem influences all human actions. Most often, a person’s self-esteem is underestimated, that is, a person’s real capabilities are higher than a person’s ideas about their capabilities. This is usually due to the fact that the formation of self-esteem occurs mainly in childhood, when a person’s capabilities are poorly developed. In addition, a negative environment has a serious influence. Of course, there are cases when a person has inflated self-esteem, but, in my opinion, this is typical only for very young people.
But for adults, the opposite situation is typical - low self-esteem, which is understandable. Personality is formed in childhood and early youth, when a person’s capabilities are, for obvious reasons, seriously limited.
Increasing self-esteem is quite possible, although it is often a rather slow process. However, making a conscious effort to build self-esteem can benefit almost everyone.
How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence? Here are 12 tips to help with this:
1. Stop comparing yourself to other people. There will always be people who have more of something than you, and there will always be people who have less of it than you. If you make comparisons, you will always have too many opponents or opponents in front of you that you cannot surpass.
2. Stop scolding and blaming yourself. You won't be able to develop high level self-esteem if you repeat negative statements about yourself and your abilities. Whether you're talking about your appearance, your career, relationships, financial status, or any other aspect of your life, avoid self-deprecating comments. Correcting your self-esteem is directly related to what you say about yourself.
3. Accept all compliments and congratulations with a “thank you.” When you respond to a compliment with something like “no big deal,” you are deflecting the compliment and simultaneously sending yourself the message that you are not worthy of praise, creating low self-esteem. Therefore, accept praise without belittling your merits.
