How to become individual. How do you become a person? Practical steps. Is individuality good or bad?

The new socio-political and economic conditions for the development of society, which demanded manifestations of activity, initiative, responsibility and risk from their citizens, actualized the problem of revealing individuality as a socially valuable component of the general mentality of the people in its uniqueness.

Individuality

In the multilateral scientific heritage of B.G. Ananiev, much attention was paid to the problems of individuality, its nature, place in the structure of personality, individual differences and others. His understanding of individuality in the sense of a "closed" system, within which the properties of the individual, the subject of various activities and the personality with its multifaceted roles are internally interconnected and regulated in the unique harmony of their parts, was in tune with the ideas of V.M. Bekhterev and S. Ya .Rubinstein.

Individuality develops from the uniqueness and originality of the morphological, physiological, psychophysiological properties of the individual, manifested in abilities, mind, feelings, motives, will, character. On the basis of the natural uniqueness of individuality, as a result of the ontogenetic self-disclosure of the subjectivity of the individual, the purposeful (conscious and unconscious) work of the "soul", a psychic individuality is formed. In the complex interaction of the inner and outer worlds, natural and social, a certain correlation of tendencies and human potentials is created, individually peculiar features of self-consciousness and "I-concept" are crystallized as the core of individuality and personality. In inner world Personality BG Ananiev included complexes of values ​​(life plans and prospects, deep personal experiences), certain organizations of images ("portraits", "landscapes", "plots") and concepts, claims and self-esteem. The degree of saturation and intensity of the activity of the inner world (processing of life experience, stability of one's own positions and beliefs, ways of self-determination) is an indicator of the spiritual wealth of the individual, and its life path- an indicator of the level of creativity and activity of self-expression. According to B. G. Ananiev, if we accept that personality is "the top of the entire structure of personal properties, then individuality is the depth of the personality and the subject of activity."

Individuality and subject mental activity

At present, in connection with the fundamental development of the concept of "subject of mental activity" (K. Abulkhanova-Slavskaya, A. Brushlinsky, V. Slobodchikov, V. Tatenko, etc.), the problems of revealing individuality began to be studied through the mechanism of intensity and direction of subjective mental activity of a person . In this aspect of research, a theoretical approach has been developed, according to which to be an individual is to have a formed, mature "core of subjectivity", and to be a subject means to be the creator of one's life path.

Subjective mental activity, as the inner creator of individuality, forms a unique picture of the inner world, associated with the characteristics of all components of self-consciousness and the structure of the Self, and the same subjective picture of the world perception and reflection of the world. Therefore, the influence of the natural, social and educational environment, as a rule, is selectively perceived by the individual: some information coincides with the psychological attitudes, goals, motives of the individual, stimulating the development of the individual in a certain direction. Other external information or influence does not correspond to the internal orientation of the individual and therefore leaves him indifferent or causes an internal reaction of resistance without introducing any changes in development. One of the leading properties of individuality is its ability to persist and self-develop in spite of external influences, and this manifests the autonomy of its internal "closed circuit". It is the spontaneous nature of the manifestation of subjective activity that gives individuality the ability to its essential, free and creative self-discovery on the basis of natural potentialities.

Personal development

Turning to the development of individuality, V.A. Tatenko distinguishes two types of subjective processes that reflect the ontogenetic dynamics of the subject of mental activity: the process of self-movement and the process of self-development. The process of self-movement reflects the ontogenetic dynamics of subjective activity in the functional-genetic plan, which encourages self-realization as an opportunity. In the process of self-movement, there is no division into goals and means, causal determinations. This process is directed by the subjective mechanism of self-disclosure on the basis of the internal conditions of the generic development program. Self-movement at a certain stage of ontogenesis becomes an internal cause of self-development. It has already formed the core of subjective activity as a mechanism for self-disclosure and the operational system as a way of self-development. The subject, causing the development of his own psyche, the nuclear element of which he himself is, indirectly affects himself.

The mechanism of self-development unfolds at the unconscious and conscious levels. From the first, the self-development of the psyche of the fetus begins from the moment of conception and intrauterine life and lasts until the stage of achieving sufficient maturity of the "core of subjectivity", the ability to reflect and arbitrary emotional-volitional self-regulation. "The core of subjectivity", according to V. Chudnovsky, is the focus of internal activity, which, as it matures, determines the entire process of the formation of a person and his inner world.

As the subject of mental activity matures at the appropriate stages of ontogenesis, the unconscious level of self-development begins to be displaced and to a greater extent replaced by conscious, purposeful personal self-creation. These two forms of self-development are carried out throughout the entire ontogenesis of a person, developing mechanisms for adaptation to changes in living conditions, age, social roles and functions. The subject of mental activity, in addition to the deployment of mental functions and neoplasms during the period of growth and maturation of the individual, is constantly focused on maintaining the mental world of individuality and personality in its socio-psychological aspect: ensuring the internal consistency of the "I-concept", avoiding cognitive dissonance by building psychological defenses or intense conscious internal work in the direction of changing the hierarchy of needs, value orientations, motivational sphere, desires, aspirations in accordance with the real possibilities of life.

The conscious level of self-development is represented in the human psyche by a complex operational structure, which is realized through the mechanisms of self-knowledge, practically covering all cognitive processes and mechanisms of their interaction. In general, self-development with all its components and forms is carried out with the help of self-activity mechanisms, including the processes of self-determination, goal-setting, choice of means, decision-making, evaluation, execution, analysis of the results of what has been achieved.

Individual differences in indicators of the intensity and direction of subjective activity determine the differences in personal self-development. It can be assumed that the intensity levels of subjective activity play a leading role at the psychophysiological level of the personality structure in terms of influencing the speed of sensorimotor response, levels of sensitivity, mental pace, stability of concentration of attention, actions, manifestation of temperament properties, i.e. in everything that is connected with psychodynamics.

The direction of subjective activity in the process of self-development at different stages of ontogenesis carries a certain semantic load and affects the qualitative characteristics of self-development, promotes the development of new qualities, unfolds a meaningful picture of mental neoplasms, saturates the “core of subjectivity” with specific content. The orientation of subjective activity gives the process of self-development of the individual the uniqueness and selectivity of the ways of life-creation, which are based on the internal picture of the world.

Subjectivity as a fundamental property of individuality and personality is primarily formed on the basis of the internal orientation of mental activity towards the process of self-development, but later, as it is outlined in the forms of consciousness, self-awareness, reflection, emotional-volitional maturation. She begins to direct the path of development of individuality and personality.

The ratio of the intensity and direction of self-development at the level of self-improvement characterizes the significance of this work for the individual and the value of the individual in society. Developed subjectivity suggests that all forms of development and levels of life activity are the result of the individual's inner work in the form of goal-setting, purposefulness, responsibility, initiative, the result of subjective analysis and the correlation of "I-concept", "I-real" and "I-ideal" . The subjective selection of motives, goals and meanings turns the "potential worlds" of individuality into reality. The development of individuality is, first of all, the self-development of the individual, which needs spontaneity, freedom, and it can be promoted only by creating favorable conditions for the disclosure of the inner essence at the appropriate stages of the ontogeny of the individual.

In whatever direction the task of self-development arises, the need to be oneself, not to strive for similarity to others, the readiness to find one's own track and move along in life remains typical for an individual. Mankind has worked out many ways for this, but all of them have a certain formulated personal meaning and the concentration of subjective activity on its realization. In practice, this is done by activating the internal psychological mechanism for performing an act as a free choice of a vital action: awakening the need for self-change, forming on its basis the motive and goal of self-development, choosing ways to achieve results (systems, methods, techniques), self-organization in space and time for them. elaboration and inclusion in one's life as a new way of existence and, finally, a phased assessment of the results achieved with a sense of satisfaction or dissatisfaction with oneself (V. Tatenko).

The logic of the process of self-development of individuality is special. The main problem is that, while socializing, to assimilate the normative behavior of society and at the same time not to lose its originality. This is exactly what J. Rainwater noted when she said that internal changes are made to a person when he becomes himself, and not when he strives to be like others.

To be oneself means to be one's essence, and essence and personality belong to different mental instances, according to the definition of A.B. Orlov. Personality arises and forms in the field of the objective world, exists in terms of phenomena, while the essence is localized at the pole of subject-object interaction, has no attributes and is carried out in terms of noumena, being.

The world systems of evolutionary self-development, characterized by the integrity and versatility of influence on the level of consciousness and self-awareness of a person, help to reveal the subjective potential of individuality. First of all, these systems are built on certain philosophical and religious foundations establishing models of moral relations to society, labor and people.

An obligatory component of self-improvement systems is the rules of mental hygiene, which supplement the methodology of psychophysical development with recommendations on lifestyle, nutrition, daily routine, body cleansing, etc. The rules of mental hygiene include teaching correct, healthy thinking, since it is unambiguously recognized that the content and quality of thoughts determine the state of psychophysical health.

Each system has its own methods of teaching the management of mental energy, the regulation of subjective activity. But with all the diversity of self-development systems, they have something in common, which can be attributed to regularity. It's about about enhanced training of a number of mental processes and states, a certain level of development of which is a prerequisite for the effectiveness of the actualization of a person's subjective potential.

One of the ways is the conscious orientation of the subject of mental activity to the development of ideas that accompany the performance of any psychophysical exercise. There is a development of vivid imagery and, accordingly, figurative thinking as a trigger mechanism for mental self-regulation.

The second important component of psychotraining is the development of the ability to achieve a high level of concentration of attention on any arbitrarily chosen object and at the level of all analyzer systems (visual, auditory, tactile, gustatory, kinesthetic, etc.). Particular attention is paid to the development of discipline of the mind with the help of various methods of controlling the course of thoughts and stopping their flow in the mind, achieving a state of "inner silence" (meditative practices). These mental processes can be considered internal conditions disclosure of the subjective potential of individuality. This is how the ability to program mental and physical functions develops.

Speaking about the benefits for society of creating conditions for the development of individuality, it is legitimate to raise the question of social prestige and social protection of individuals. This problem is both psychological and social. Its psychological aspect lies in the fact that in the system of education from an early age and throughout a person’s life, respect and tolerance for the “otherness”, “unusualness” of individuality in its various manifestations, which do not go over the moral and legal norms of society, should be instilled. It is important to understand that the originality of lifestyle, behavior and thinking can be a manifestation of innovation, ideas can be ahead of time or be a valuable addition. existing rules. And in general, each person is an individuality, only with a different level of its development and manifestation of its subjectivity. The subjectivity of individuals stimulates to commit acts, gives rise to heroes, leaders, passionaries, the creative potential of peoples.

History shows that the relationship of individuals with society and the state can be complex and conflicting. At the state level, management is oriented towards the "popular masses", i.e. "average personality" on which all influences and activities are calculated. At the level of personality, human behavior is regulated by the entire system of socio-psychological interaction (social roles, status, position, reference group) and is determined, according to C. Jung, by the laws of the "collective psyche".

But individuality is guided by its attitude to collective processes, identification with which leads to its suppression, and unrealized subjective activity, already saturated with social content, can lead to the development of unproductive or destructive forms of human behavior.

LN Gumilyov devoted his works to the role of individuals in the development of peoples, ethnic groups and states. He called the pronounced subjective activity of individuality passionarity - the ability to be an energetic, highly attractive person, obsessed with some kind of innovative, often patriotic idea. Such a high activity of the individual, which does not obey the laws of the collective psyche and carries a new idea, is capable of raising and leading peoples, destroying and creating states, making coups and revolutions, or showing the world a creative genius. Passionaries strive to change the world around them and often do this at the cost of their own lives.

So, the development of individuality is a complex and hard way self-disclosure that occurs throughout a person's life. To develop and preserve one's individuality means to go through the path of individuation, to become a separate being in one's own uniqueness, to become one's own self and to fulfill oneself in life.

Each person is individual in his own way - this simple truth no one doubts. There are people who are very similar in appearance, there are people with similar characters, habits, interests. But absolutely the same people it does not exist in nature, just as there are no two identical fingerprints or DNA. But, even recognizing this, a person is not always able to emphasize, express his individuality, turn it into his undeniable dignity. How to express individuality, and not remain part of a faceless mass? This is what we will talk about today.

What does it mean to express individuality

Oscar Wilde wrote: "Be yourself, the rest of the roles are taken." The fashion for individuality develops in a spiral, half a century ago it was a shame to stand out from the crowd, from the gray mass (remember how abusive the word “dandies” was, that is, people who did not follow the generally accepted laws of society in terms of appearance). Today it is fashionable to express one's individuality again. Although it is not always possible to express individuality, it is to show one's own positive features, to be remembered not only as a bright, but also an interesting personality, with a rich inner world.

Every time we look at a bright, independent person who managed to express his individuality, we ask ourselves: “Can I become as bright, independent, interesting?”. You can, even if by nature you are shy and modest, and even if you are not confident in yourself. You just have to put in the best effort.

The formation of a bright personality begins with the development of self-confidence and fortitude. It is good if these qualities are inherent in you by nature and backed up by the appropriate upbringing and the environment in which you grew up. And if not? Then make them yourself. Here are some tips to help you express your personality.

1. Conversation with yourself.

Talk to yourself, praise yourself for what you can do for yourself and others. Just do not lose your sense of proportion and in no case resort to comparisons. By comparing yourself to others, you will only harm your personality, and it will not help you express your individuality in any way.

1. Reading biographies of famous and famous people.

The life of every strong personality is an inexhaustible source of examples. What difficulties did they face in life and how did they overcome them? How did you present yourself to others? What tests made them strong personalities? What helped them express their individuality? These stories are inspiring.

1. Appearance is the key to success.

You cannot express individuality if you are not confident in your appearance. You in any place - at work, at home, on vacation - should look your best, attract the attention of others. As you become aware of yourself at your best, you gradually become more self-confident.

1. We practice speech.

Learn to speak - brightly, vividly, competently, convey emotions in words, infect others. Ask yourself, who would you listen to with great interest - a stammering mumble at every word or a person who clearly and emotionally expresses his thoughts? The answer is obvious. Confident speech gradually forms a confident gait and look, helps to express the individuality of a strong personality.

1. Have own opinion.

To express one's individuality also means to have one's own opinion. You must be able to express your opinion directly, whatever it may be, not to depend on others. A strong personality knows how to express dissatisfaction directly, without bluntness. It gives color to the personality, inspires respect, helps to express individuality.

How to become a person - Why can't everyone succeed?

What does it mean to be a person?

What does it mean to be a person?
- Individuals are not born, individuals become
- Signs of personality
— The process of becoming an individual
- 5 simple tips. How to develop a personality?
How to be an individual? Psychologists' advice
How do you become a person? Practical Steps
- Tips on how to become a harmonious personality
- Formation of personality: what is needed?
- Conclusion

Personality - this is an individual who is the result of mental activity. It is important to remember that such a person has a whole range of socially significant elements that are successfully implemented in public life.

AT recent times more and more people strive for self-development and self-improvement. More and more people are trying to live meaningfully by setting goals and moving towards them. This, of course, pleases. But how do you become a person? How not to get lost in the crowd?

I would like to start my answer with a question: Do you think that you are not a person? If you need to become a person, then this moment you are not her. How was this opinion born?

If you follow the train of thought of the person who asked such a question, it becomes clear that the idea could only come from external sources, negative opinions, assessments of others. Whole person who perceives himself as an individual, such a formulation will not come to mind.

For your information, here is the definition from explanatory dictionary Russian language Ozhegov. “Personality is a person, as a carrier of some properties.” Based on this definition, everyone is a person.

Therefore, the problem of the person who asked the question can be reformulated - how to become whole, to perceive oneself as a person?

Initially, we are born as individuals. In the process of growing up, refusing the value of their opinions, their desires, accepting the priority correctness of the opinions of adults, a person loses integrity, a sense of being a valuable person. Of course, after all, he was told so many times what he was doing wrong, badly, that he decided to agree with it. At this point, his future problems begin.

Let's skip the period of accumulation of troubles. Let's go straight to the moment of asking the initial question: What does it take to become a person? Great question! So, you are ready to become it again. To do this, you need to start becoming yourself. First of all, OBSERVE. For life, for yourself, for relationships. Create YOUR OWN POINT OF VIEW from your observations. The opinions of others, any information is only an impetus to reflection and research.

Listen to yourself and do what you want. Do not suppress, do not scold yourself. LOVE AND ACCEPT YOURSELF. This is very difficult at first. After all, first you have to deal with all the accumulated burden of anger, dislike and shame for yourself. When you feel whole, accepting yourself, then you become a full-fledged person again. Good luck to everyone along the way.

Individuals are not born, individuals are made

Before considering how a person becomes a person, it should be noted that there are two opinions about whether each person can become one.

1) Some argue that in the process of socialization and development, each living unit Homo sapiens becomes a person in one way or another.

2) Another group of specialists testifies that there is a circle of people who cannot be called a person. Such people in the process of their development do not develop, but degrade.

Personality cannot be formed at the moment of birth, it is formed in the process of socialization of the individual, i.e. gradually. Everyone knows that babies cannot express their thoughts, since their brains are not yet sufficiently developed; they cannot express their views and tastes, they do not have moral guidelines. Their behavior is initially subordinated to instincts.

After all, all our views and beliefs are formed gradually, over a fairly long time, and do not appear immediately after birth.

The term "personality" itself means the inner peculiarity of a person, his spiritual world (opinions, interests, guidelines). A person becomes a person in the process of such a phenomenon as socialization. Socialization is understood as the process of a person's adaptation to the generally accepted rules of behavior in society, its traditions and values.

Thus, we can conclude that a person becomes a person not at the moment of his birth, but gradually, going through the process of socialization.
That is, in fact, the formation of personality is the process of assimilation of norms and values ​​that are relevant for a particular society.

personality traits

Are there certain signs that define a person as a person? So, psychologists distinguish the following points:

1. Openness to new experience.
2. A person constantly tries something new, learns and develops in new directions for himself.
3. Individuals are aware of the capabilities of their body and fully trust this feeling.
4. Personality knows the measure in everything.
5. A full-fledged person ceases to seek approval or evaluation from the outside.
   Such people have a so-called internal locus, where personal value judgments of everything that happens are formed.

The process of becoming an individual

Psychologists have provided two simple steps that illustrate how to become a person:

Step 1.
You need to look under your mask. That is, to be naked in front of oneself, to understand who a person really is, throwing away all the images. This search is the most important stage of formation.

Step 2
Feeling is the next step. In moments of strong emotional stress, a person becomes who he really is. Forming the right self at such moments is an equally important stage.

Tip 1.
It is important to realize that it is we who shape our lives. To do this, you need to learn to take responsibility. For all.

The people around us only reflect ourselves, like mirrors. Even if we don't realize it.

Tip 2.
You need to acknowledge your right to make mistakes. We all make mistakes, no one is perfect. The main thing is to recognize it and correct it in time. Not always our opinion or our actions are correct in the eyes of other people. And this is a fact. This must be allowed.

Tip 3.
It should be understood that no one owes anything to anyone. I can love someone, help someone as much as I can. And that's just my choice. I do it because I like it. It is foolish to demand the same from others. After all, this is my choice. Sometimes, however, you need to be able to say NO, and this can be very difficult.

Tip 4.
It is equally important to learn to live here and now. There is no past because every moment comes the present. And there is no future because it does not exist yet. It is being formed now. It can be difficult to comprehend this. In addition, attachment to the past gives rise to many problems, worries about the future, and so on. It makes it difficult to see the possibilities now.

Tip 5
Get rid of the habit of criticizing someone. A person who himself has not done anything in life, did not even try, criticizes others with great pleasure. Even if he does not understand the essence of the issue. What do you think, is such a person a person? I don't think.

Again, there are no perfect people. Therefore, you constantly have to work on yourself, control your thoughts, words and actions. Not for anyone, but for yourself, your life. Yes, it is difficult, but necessary.

According to developmental psychology You can bring up a personality in a person up to 23 years. Further growth and development depends on the person himself and the circumstances in which he finds himself during his life.

What does it mean to become a person in the ordinary sense? First of all, it means having a strong character. A person is not amenable to any influence, has his own point of view on what is happening around and is able to independently manipulate others. When a person becomes a person, he ceases to depend on someone else's opinion, which, you see, is important.

What needs to be done to become a person, and not remain the object of constant manipulation? First you need to develop the appropriate qualities in yourself:

1) Learn to be confident in yourself.
Lay it out on the shelves, what complexes prevent you from proudly looking in front of you and not being afraid of anything. Practice a confident look and gait.

2) Get rid of shyness and embarrassment.
Read out loud while no one is watching. Practice a confident voice and clear diction. No one will respect you as long as you mumble. This is one of the first steps to becoming an interesting person.

3) Learn to tell people the truth in the eyes and express personal opinions.
Get ready to stand up for yourself in front of others.

4) Get rid of excessive self-criticism.
A person who has thought about how to become a strong personality must definitely know his own worth and not allow others to underestimate it.

Most importantly, love yourself. Remember, how you treat yourself is how others will treat you.

How do you become a person? Practical Steps

How to become a charismatic person if you have to speak in front of large audiences or just interact with large quantity of people? In this aspect, special work is not required.

1) remember the names of your interlocutors.
There is no sweeter sound to a man than his own name;

2) be interested in people.
The most favorite topic of your interlocutor is himself. Take an interest in his affairs, and you will surely gain respect;

3) Learn to listen.
Every person needs to be allowed to speak. Seeing in you a good listener, they will also begin to listen to you;

4) offer help.
AT modern world rarely have to rely on others. Give people such an opportunity and in return you will receive a lot of gratitude.

Even if you are already a strong and influential person, do not forget about your inner world. This will help you tips on how to become a harmonious personality:

1) Love your body and everything around it.
Take care of your home, create comfort in it and get rid of unnecessary things and household items in time. Express love to your body through exercise and proper nutrition.

2) Feed your feelings.
Watch movies that cause a storm of emotions, make small nice gifts for yourself and your loved ones. Only a person who knows how to empathize and feel has the right to be called a person.

3) Create harmony within yourself. Learn to relax.
Do yoga or meditation, because sometimes you just need to learn how to relax and listen to your inner voice. Listen to your intuition, and it will help you out many times in difficult times.

A full-fledged strong personality includes the harmony of brightness, charisma and inner charm. Sometimes it takes a lot of people to achieve this. whole life. Learn to work on yourself, respect everything that nature has laid in you. Be yourself and people will be drawn to you.

Personal development: what do you need?

It's time to figure out how to become a person. What do you need to know or be able to do? It is important to remember that the main thing in this case is the presence of the following points:

1) Self-awareness.
That is, how much a person feels in himself the strength and desire to improve, change. Here such a concept as self-confidence follows inseparably (not self-confidence, which just prevents a person from becoming a full-fledged personality). You need to understand that a person is responsible for all his actions.

2) We must hope and rely only on ourselves, not expecting help from outside.
A person is an independent person. Not from other people, not from circumstances.

3) And most importantly, be able to admit your mistakes and be flexible.
Principles are good, but you need to be able to give in, lose.

4) Auxiliary tools.
These are specialized books or other publications, various thematic trainings. And of course, communication is very important. To do this, you can seek help from certain specialists who will help you cope with this process. It can be a psychologist, a coach or another person who knows how to properly motivate.

Conclusion

Every person deep down considers himself a person. But is it really so? If you look around, you can see that most people are similar to each other and hardly stand out among the general mass of the crowd surrounding them.

Many of them lose their individuality in childhood, trying to fit in with the norms that their parents and the social environment in which they live impose on them.

Others try in every possible way to hide their identity, ashamed of their aspirations and desires, afraid of being ridiculed by close and dear people. It's much easier to be like everyone else. This is what we are taught from childhood, and whoever prefers to break out of the gray mass immediately becomes a universal outcast until he begins to behave in the same way as the rest.

But there are those who, in spite of everything, become a self-sufficient person. How to be among these lucky ones? First of all, you will need to constantly work on yourself and make sure not to bend under the opinions of others. How to do this is described in detail in this article. Of course, it will be difficult to defend your opinion and be yourself in any circumstances. But it's worth it!

The material was prepared by Dilyara specifically for the site

It's not easy to be an individual, especially when you're under pressure from peers, people with a strong character, and you hear someone's comments that are confusing. However, if you make the effort to accept yourself as you are while continuing to grow and develop, then you will be on your way to discovering the person you are meant to be. Anyone who has a pronounced individuality is necessarily passionate about some business and strives to improve in it, while not necessarily standing out from the crowd. Being a true individual means having strong convictions and not being afraid to go off the beaten path.

Steps

Part 1

How to develop a healthy point of view

1. Stop caring about what others think. If you really want to progress towards becoming an individual, then you need to stop worrying about what other people think. You have to want to be an individual just for yourself, not like the kids at school who think someone is cool if they stand out. If you are obsessed with what other people think of you, then you will never be able to really be happy with yourself, because people are fickle and it is impossible to please everyone.

   • Of course, gossip is unpleasant and hard to ignore. Anyway, if you hear gossip about yourself, just know that it comes from a weak and insecure person, and that you will not stoop to his level.
   • Even if you feel like a phenomenal individual - whether you are John Lennon, Nina Simone or Lena Dunham - there will always be critics. Better to accept it now than spend your life trying to please others.

2. Don't be afraid to be yourself. As trite as it sounds, being an individual means being yourself without a shadow of embarrassment. This doesn't mean hiding your true feelings every time you go out in public, or acting like you're perfect and refuse to admit your flaws. This means not feeling uncomfortable showing your flaws, quirks to other people, sharing your thoughts with them, and staying in a good mood, knowing your own worth. Of course, it may take time to reach this level, but you need to develop the habit of presenting yourself to people as you really are, and not acting like a person with whom you think others would be more willing to communicate.

   • Of course, different people need to show different sides of their personality. You probably wouldn't want to show yourself to your boss or teacher in the same way that you would show yourself to your friends; you would choose your words more carefully or avoid offensive topics. However, in general, you shouldn't feel like you're flipping a switch to act like a completely different version of yourself when talking to different people.
   • Work on being open to people. You don't have to tell people everything about yourself, your childhood, how much you love your pet tarantula, or your obsession with Shannon Doherty as soon as you meet someone, but you do need to work on opening yourself up little by little. others to build stronger relationships.

3. Don't force yourself to be different. You might think that being an individual means wearing neon, playing the banjo, or just standing in a room with 500 people like "Where's Wally?" However, in reality, it means something else altogether. You don't have to be eccentric to be an individual; you just need to live in harmony with yourself and stand up for your own ideas and opinions. In fact, if you overdo it, you can achieve the opposite effect - you can stop being real, starting to behave feignedly.

   • For example, if you like to wear discreet earthy clothes, then stick to the style that you like, instead of thinking that you need to update your wardrobe in order to become a true individual.
   • You don't need to change your hair or makeup or get a tattoo. The feeling that you are an individual comes from within.
   • Of course, all people are different in some way, but not everyone is noticeably different from each other. If you have an ability that is not visible to the naked eye, such as being able to speak 8 languages ​​or being an amazing break dancer, then don't be afraid to walk around with an air of importance.

4. Develop your confidence. Self-confidence doesn't come overnight, but you can take action and work on loving and accepting yourself for who you really are. You cannot be an individual without being self-confident. To do this, you need to work on finding what you can be grateful for, focus on your strengths, work on self-affirmation and a positive attitude in relationships with other people. The more you focus on developing self-confidence, the sooner you will become a true individual.

   • One way to develop confidence is to spend time with people who give you confidence. It's hard to be sure when your supposedly "best friends" are always trying to bully you.
   • Body language can be a big help in making you look and feel confident. Work on standing up straight, looking people in the eye instead of at the floor, and try not to fold your arms over your chest. If you just imagine yourself confident, you can already feel much better.

5. Stick to your beliefs. To be an individual, it is important to remain true to your beliefs, not allowing other people to influence your decisions after another argument. Of course, it's good to be open and willing to learn from others, but you have to work on not being spineless, but showing people that you really mean what you say. Don't let people push you into behavior you don't respect yourself, and work to stand your ground the next time your friends try to get you to change your mind.

   • If you really don't want to do something because you feel it's wrong morally, then don't give in to your friends or acquaintances just because it's more convenient. Learn to explain why you think certain behaviors, such as underage drinking, are wrong, and then avoid the situation.
   • Do not let others laugh at you and your thoughts, feeling their insignificance, just because the person is louder, taller or stronger than you. Try to pick up concrete examples and evidence to support your thoughts and don't be afraid to defend them.
   • If a caring friend genuinely helps you see a new situation from a different perspective, then be grateful for it and ask more questions. You should try to stick to your beliefs when you know you won't change your mind, but don't be stubborn.

6. Try to feel comfortable in your own skin. Another way to be an individual is to feel happy and content in your own skin. Try to develop love for your body and mind, and make your presence visible when you enter a room. If you are hunched over, dissatisfied with yourself, or uncomfortable talking to people, then you will radiate self-doubt and will seem like a person who is not at ease. Develop the habit of loving the people around you, being confident enough to speak your mind, and learn to connect with new people without hesitation.

   • Real individuals are those people who are comfortable in their "skin" because they don't care what other people think of them. If you look content and happy in whatever you do, then people will give you the respect you deserve.

7. Know, without exaggeration, that there is no one like you in the whole world. It may sound silly, but if you want to change your point of view and try to become an individual, then sometimes the best thing to do is to stop and realize that there is no other person in the whole world with the same upbringing, values, appearance and thoughts like yours, and that you are truly unique and different from others. You may think that you are no different from others, but you need to remember that all people are different in some way. Even if you have a twin brother, you are a unique person, and no one can see the world through your eyes. Be proud of this fact and acknowledge it.

   Part 2

   Get Started

   1. Find a new hobby. One of the ways to be an individual is to find what you really and deeply care about and make an effort to really study it. If you do not yet know what you are good at, then you should try to enroll in some kind of school section, go in for sports or take lessons. Japanese language, creative writing, watercolor, tap dancing, or really anything you've wanted to try for a long time. Finding something you enjoy and are good at will help build your confidence as well as help you express yourself.

      • Along with finding a new hobby, you can try to see if you can turn it into a passion. You may find that what you really want to be is a writer, photographer, or dancer, and this will give you even more confidence and confidence in your abilities.

   2. Explore your creative side. Not every person has to be creative to be an individual. However, by examining your Creative skills, you can discover new ideas and you can feel the new limits of your capabilities. Try writing a short story, poem, play, or even a novel, or try writing a skit with friends just for fun. Explore your artistic leanings and try your hand at drawing, pottery, oil painting, or charcoal painting to see what works best for you. You don't have to be great at this, but you have to be willing to try if you want to be an individual.

      • Even if you only get contour drawings, by training the creative part of the brain, you can see the world in a new, original light. This is very important for being an individual.
      • Being creative can also help you discover new ideas you didn't know existed. By trying your hand at storytelling, you can see the world in a whole new light.

   3. Accept tests. Another way to be an individual is to go beyond your comfort zone and accept new challenges that fate throws up. Sign up to volunteer in a new part of town; put forward your candidacy for the post of head of the class; apply for a job for which you think you are not qualified. Help a friend decide difficult task. When you face challenges, don't brush them off by habit, but make an effort to try new approaches and tackle new and difficult issues vigorously.

      • True individuals are always growing and changing. They courageously face trials and strive the best way achieve success, no matter how difficult the circumstances.
      • Of course, if you are overwhelmed with things to do, you are unlikely to want to say yes to everything, or you will be too busy to grow as an individual. But if you're worried about trying something new because you might fail, then you need to take the test and see what happens.

   4. Spend more time with people you admire. Another way to be individual is to surround yourself with independent thinkers whose thoughts and lifestyles you admire. You can learn a lot from creative and interesting people who are not afraid to be who they are. If you spend all your time with your fans or with people who don't really know much about life, then it will be harder for you to grow as an individual.

      • This does not mean that you need to shield yourself from every person you find too boring for yourself, but that you need to look for people who may disagree with you and who inspire you to show your best qualities.

   5. Use critical thinking skills. True individuals are critical thinkers. They evaluate all aspects of a situation before drawing conclusions, and they draw on a large knowledge base to help them find the best approaches to deal with difficult situations. They do not agree with everything they hear from friends or on the radio, but do their own research, making sure their conclusions are correct, so as not to jump to conclusions or show laziness.

      • True individuals think outside the box and know that most situations are much more difficult than they seem. They don't take everything they hear at face value, even if it comes from someone they respect.
      • Individuals always ask a lot of questions and are not afraid to admit that they do not know some answer. They know that The best way to be aware of everything is to doubt everything.
      • Become more well-read. Read every book you can get your hands on, from the complete works of Virginia Woolf or Franz Kafka to contemporary non-fiction about historical events or modern science. The more you read, the more knowledge you gain, and the more information you will have at your disposal.

   6. Don't do what other people expect you to do. One of the reasons why it may not be easy to become an individual is the feeling that you need to live up to the expectations of your parents, friends, significant other or society in general. If you really want to be an individual, then you must do what is best for you, not what your parents expect you to do. It can be difficult to say "no" to people or tell them that your goals are different from theirs, but that's the only way to really move forward.

      • For example, if your parents want you to go to medical school because there were three generations of doctors in your family, but you're more interested in studying creative writing, be honest about it. You don't want to live your own life for someone else.
      • Of course, you don't have to go against all social expectations just to be an individual, but you do want to be sure that you are doing the best thing for yourself. For example, if you are going to leave university, it is only because you have good reasons for it, and not because you just want to seem like a rebel.

   Part 3

   How to develop your individuality

   1. Don't try to fit the pattern. If you want to be truly an individual, then you can't think of yourself as conforming to patterns. You can't just be a student, a student, an athlete, a nerd or a hipster. You have to be above this classification if you really want to be a unique person. You can be a person with a variety of hobbies, but it must be more than just picking one of them if you want to be truly an individual. Instead of trying to fit the image of a person with certain interests, try to develop qualities that you admire.

      • You may be around people with certain interests, but you don't have to worry that you have to look, talk, or dress exactly like them in order to fit into their company. Variety is what gives flavor to life, and things will get pretty boring if you look like whoever you hang out with.

   2. Develop your authenticity. To be an individual, you have to be authentic. If you pretend or turn up your nose, people will immediately feel it. Instead of being overly cute, wearing clothes that aren't really yours, or hanging out with people you don't really like just because you think you'll be more popular, you need to work on being being honest with yourself, wearing what you feel comfortable in, and not speaking just to please others if you yourself don't believe what you're saying.

      • Before you walk out the door, look in the mirror. Do you recognize the person you are looking at? If not, then you better give your facial expression more importance.
      • Don't fake compliments to suck up to people. Instead, sincerely tell them when you like something about them, even if it sounds unnatural to you. If you are not sincere, then others will be able to determine it.

   3. Be honest. To be an individual, you need to work on being an honest person who is comfortable speaking the truth even when things get tough. Avoid lying to make yourself look better, don't sugarcoat the truth for your friends when they really need it, don't cheat at school or act dishonorably. Real individuals are sincere people who are not afraid of the truth and are able to defend it if necessary.

      • Don't lie about how much money you have, how much you earn, or your wealth in general. This will not impress anyone and others will understand that you are exaggerating.
      • Of course, telling a harmless lie, like not telling a friend that he or she got too much hair, is perfectly fine, as long as you don't hurt anyone.

   4. Deal with weaknesses that you can deal with. If you want to be truly individual, then you must be willing to engage in self-development. You cannot be completely satisfied with yourself, otherwise you will never be able to grow and improve. While you need to try to accept what you cannot change about yourself, you need to make an effort to deal with the shortcomings that you can eliminate, so you can polish your personality from different sides.

      • Don't take on everything at once. There is no need to take on something very important in the first place. Maybe you like to put things off until later. Set a goal to do something for a week and then a month, and then it will become your habit.
      • Be aware that working on serious issues, such as trust issues, can take much longer than a few weeks. However, by making a plan on how to achieve success, you can move towards your goal.

   5. Be more assertive. To be a true individual, you must be able to assert yourself and not feel uncomfortable defending your ideas. Speak clearly and distinctly, look people in the eye when you want to get your point across. Don't let others make fun of you or interrupt you, and stick to your beliefs by being open to others in your well-intentioned offerings. Don't let others wipe their feet on you and don't obsess over something because you just can't say no. Individuals know what they want, they have their own opinion and are not afraid to convey it to others.

      • If you strongly disagree with something, don't let the other person shake your resolve just because you don't want to hurt their feelings. Express your feelings clearly and have a solid foundation for feeling a certain way.
      • Learn to say "no" to people when you really can't or don't want to do something. Don't feel bad explaining to others that you're too busy to take on more work, and don't let them get in the way of how you feel because you can't do more.
      • Speak with conviction. Instead of starting sentences like "I think maybe..." or "Probably that...", make strong statements like "I won't work with Karina anymore."

   6. Learn to laugh at yourself. Real individuals try not to take themselves too seriously and, when the opportunity arises, they can play pranks on themselves. They are aware of their shortcomings and don't try to be perfect, and other people around them don't feel like they have to tiptoe in front of them. If you want to be an individual, then you should not feel uncomfortable laughing at yourself when you stand up for your beliefs. Don't be serious all the time - that's okay, it doesn't diminish your individuality.

      • Real individuals are always growing and always learning. You can't be truly an individual if you take yourself so seriously that you can't even laugh at your own shortcomings or be self-aware enough to want to change.

   7. Listen to your intuition. If you want to be an individual, then it is extremely important to listen to your intuition. Sometimes some tempting job offer might look great on paper and everyone will tell you to take it, but you might get tormented by the realization that this is not exactly what you want to do in life. If you really want to be an individual, then you should listen to the voice of these good or bad feelings about what is happening and sometimes follow these instincts, not logic.

      • Individuals are people who think outside the box. Although they think critically, read a lot and rely on facts to form the basis for their thoughts, they also trust themselves and feel when something is not going right around them.

Nikolai Berdyaev

It is generally accepted that every person is a person, regardless of what qualities and character traits he possesses. It is difficult to disagree with this, but it can and should be added to this that a person, in order to remain a person, must necessarily develop. After all, we call a personality, first of all, a unique, special, interesting person who is not like other people, who has rare abilities and a rich inner world. But without development, without work on oneself, a person will not go far from other people, he will be the same as everyone else. And if a person does not differ from other people, if he does not have special qualities inherent only to him, then we can call him a personality with a very big stretch. However, the question arises - why should each of us be different from other people, why become a person, for what purpose, for what benefit? This is what I will tell you, dear readers, in this article. I will tell you about how to develop a personality and why it should be developed. Believe me, the benefits of such development are very great.

Why develop your personality

To understand why a person needs to develop a personality in himself, it is enough to take a closer look at what is happening in our lives. What is highly valued in this world? It is obvious that everything in it is valued, which, firstly, we need, and secondly, what is not enough. What is in short supply is valuable. Do you agree? Moreover, what is interesting, sometimes what is not enough, we may not really need it, but we are still drawn to it. We love everything rare and exceptional, because we ourselves want to be so. But something that is very much, even if it is something very useful for us, we don’t really appreciate, and sometimes we don’t appreciate it at all. An interesting trait of the human personality, isn't it? Someday I'll explain to you why we behave this way. For now, let's get back to the crux of our issue. So, how do you become a valuable, and at the same time, a sought-after person, so that other people need you, so that they pay attention to you and love you? To do this, you need to become special, not like everyone else. You need to become more interesting, more useful, better, and even, let's say, more unusual than other people. You can achieve this in different ways, you can work on your wrapper, that is, on your appearance, or you can set yourself a more difficult and serious task - to change, or rather, develop your inner content. It's not an easy job, to be honest. But it needs to be done so that you are appreciated, that you are needed, that it is difficult to replace you, and so on. Do not forget - what is rare is valuable. And what is valuable is loved and cherished.

People will begin to pay more attention to you, and you will be more respected if you can develop rare and useful qualities for people, if you become an interesting, bright and even a little mysterious person. Good prospect? That's the thing, it's good. After all, we all want to be appreciated, loved, respected, paid attention to us, admired, needed, and so on and so forth. It's nice and helpful. But let's think about why we appreciate, love, respect? Why should other people give us their precious attention, for what benefit? What is so special about us? What personal qualities of ours can people around us admire? This, friends, each of us should think carefully on our own. Many of us may think very well of ourselves and think that there are no others like them. And this is good - you need to have a high opinion of yourself, no doubt about it. It boosts our self-esteem. But trust me, other people may think otherwise. They may see in us a completely different person, not the same as we see. How important it is for us is another question. We live in a society that, whether we like it or not, must accept us, or rather, we must be able to become part of it, because we depend on this society. We are all dependent on each other. And the point here is what place each of us will take in society. Here, in order for this place to be as good as possible, a person needs to become a person not only for himself, but also for other people. Let's now find out what we need to do with ourselves in order to develop a personality in ourselves.

How to develop your personality

So, if you agree with all of the above, then I think you are interested in learning about how you can develop a personality in yourself. Friends, if I tell you that personal development is a simple matter, I will be lying. And I don't want to lie. And I will not. So no, it's not easy. And I think that not unfortunately, but fortunately, this is not easy to do. After all, if the development of a person's personality were a simple matter, such a thing as working on oneself would simply not exist. Work is not the most pleasant word, you see. We associate it with tension, with workload, with stress, sometimes with pain, and not with pleasure and joy, unless you love your job, like me, for example. Be that as it may, in any work there is a pleasure, there is a joy, and those of you who are doing what you love are well aware of this. Working on ourselves is a special pleasure that we experience when we understand what benefits our efforts bring to us. Therefore, working on oneself in order to develop a personality in oneself is pleasant, interesting, fun. You can get high from this. Therefore, it is not so scary that this is not an easy job, the main thing is to understand how interesting and useful it is.

What should be done? Learn, acquire new skills, play sports, as well as interesting and creative activities, make your life and the lives of other people better. Here is what you need to do to develop your personality. This is your work on your body and mind, which makes you a more perfect person, and of course, different from others. The main question here is not what should be done, but how to do it. And about how to do this - how to work on yourself, how to develop yourself, a huge number of books and articles have been written. And each of these books and articles offers its own recipe for personal development, although many of them are similar to each other. This is how this recipe will turn out to be more accurate and effective - the faster you will be able to develop in yourself such a personality, the analogue of which will be impossible to find. And the quality of your personality can and certainly must be such that society as a whole or individual people value you very highly. To do this, you must be useful to people, society, interesting and unique. What is rare is valuable, remember, right?

I will give you my recipe for how to develop a personality in yourself, so that you also have it in mind when deciding how you should work on yourself. Who knows, maybe he's the best ever. Why not, I've been dealing with this issue, in fact, all my conscious life. I think, friends, that you need to start with psychology. Yes, yes, I understand, this is not the first time I am talking about this, or rather, I am writing. And you, in turn, can say that again this sandpiper praises his swamp, as if nothing else in the world exists except this psychology. Of course, there is, but, friends, I praise what I praise, namely, such a science as psychology, not because I do it, but because it really gives us a lot - it allows us to develop in ourselves valuable qualities for ourselves and for other people, thanks to what points us to them. That's why I myself began to study it, because I saw how valuable it is for a person, both from the point of view of knowing himself, and from the point of view of knowing other people. You can't improve yourself without understanding how you are, right? And how will you know about it? Well, well, there is biology, anatomy, medicine, anthropology and a host of other sciences about a person that studies his body and mind. There are many of these sciences. But if we narrow our view on this question, then we can reduce everything to those sciences that study the human body and those that study his soul and mind. And these are the things we need to develop in order to make ourselves better. Here, psychology, basically studies the soul and mind of man. And this, as you can, is not so much to know as to feel - very important elements of a human being. And since they are important, you need to work on them in order to develop your personality - after all, that's what we need, right?

Therefore, when I say that you need to study in order to develop a personality in yourself, you must understand what exactly you need to learn in the first place. If you want to improve, say, some technical device or come up with a new one, you can start studying physics, mathematics, engineering, and so on. If you have a goal - to come up with, let's say, a new medicine for mankind, you should start studying chemistry and biology, other sciences related to medicine. Well, if you want to understand yourself and other people and want to develop the best, strongest, most valuable qualities in yourself, then what else, if not psychology, I can offer you to study. The question here is - what kind of person do you want to become, for what do you want to be valued and respected, for what knowledge and skills? To understand this, take a closer look at our life and answer the question for yourself - which people in it are the most popular, who are most loved, appreciated and respected, and for what? And then think about how you can become one of those people - what do you need to study for this? Maybe you don't want to go my way, okay, I don't insist. Then choose your path - find, invent, choose your calling, as it suits you. After all, you still need to study in order to become a valuable person, and for this you need to study well, very well. And in order to study well, you need to have a great desire to achieve something. What do you want to be good at, what do you want to achieve? Do not rush to answer this question, think - this is not an easy choice.

In general, the more you can do everything that you don’t know, or know how, but other people do much worse than you, the better. After all, being a person does not mean, for example, having your own opinion, as many of us are being told today, since it may well turn out to be incorrect and even absurd. Why then have it, if you can borrow someone else's, more correct, more accurate and much more useful for us opinion? To be a person means to be a useful person, useful both for oneself and for others. Even if you are different from other people and have charisma, you will not necessarily be a person for other people. After all, not every person is valuable, even if it is unique. A person can be quite unusual, unique, interesting, but at the same time harmful. We can accept such a person, and even partly admire him as a person, but at the same time, if he harms us, and not benefits us, then we will inevitably wish that this person was not in our life. Therefore, I think it is necessary to work on oneself in such a way as to ultimately become a very useful person for society and be in demand by it. This will greatly simplify and improve our lives. Therefore, one should approach one's development from the standpoint of one's own interests and the interests of the society in which we live.

Let's now talk about our shortcomings - after all, everyone has them. We need to eliminate our shortcomings, if possible, and skillfully hide them if necessary. You see, a person with a lot of flaws does not seem unique. Whereas the image of an ideal person who can be admired, who can and should be equaled, who can be loved and appreciated, lives in the head of each of us. We want to see someone as the perfect person, someone other than ourselves. Is the ideal not achievable? Maybe. But you need to strive for it in order to at least seem like an ideal person, and therefore rare, and therefore valuable, which means one who needs to be loved, valued, respected, protected. An ideal person- this is without a doubt a person, even if he is ideal in the minds of only a few people, or even in the mind of a single, but very valuable person for him. Therefore, our shortcomings are, to such and such extent, our enemies, with whom we must constantly fight, raising our cultural and intellectual level. Let other people behave naturally, the way they want. And you behave in the right way to make a positive impression on people, and at the same time on yourself. You will start to respect yourself more, and people will respect you more if your behavior meets the highest standards. Therefore, be sure to develop self-discipline in yourself, because for the development of personality - this is a necessary work. Not circumstances, not other people, should control your behavior so that it is acceptable - you have to do it. Personality is not an object, but a subject. Therefore, the individual himself determines the norms of his behavior, based on the characteristics of the society in which this individual lives.

And finally, the last thing you need to develop the right attitude towards in order to develop a personality is responsibility and independence. Much has been said and written about this, so much that it is somehow even inconvenient for me to repeat it directly. But, either it is said wrong, or it is written wrong, or people simply do not listen to what is said and written, but for some reason there are no more independent and responsible people in our society. Therefore, it is a sin not to discuss this issue again. I am sure that my work will also contribute to the development of individuals and society as a whole. What else can be said about responsibility and independence? And I can say this: it is quite obvious, at least for me, that a person determines his own life path, because he is a person, and not a statistical unit and not something that can be generalized. Therefore, a person who wants to become a person must be free in his soul, in his head and in general within himself in order to do what a free person can do - to choose. When you have a choice, and you always have it, you just can’t always see it and don’t always want to see it, you can consider yourself a free person, but on the condition that you yourself make your choice and will be fully responsible for it . So true freedom is within us, and this is the only freedom that no one will ever take away from us without our consent. But in order to have it, or rather, to use it, you must yourself be responsible for your life. There is nothing complicated in this, just as there is nothing terrible, but you need to tune in to such an attitude to life, understanding all the benefits that you can get from such a life. And believe me, there are a lot of advantages from the fact that you will be a responsible and independent person. And the main of these advantages is the freedom of choice I have already mentioned. You will always have the opportunity to get out of any absolutely impasse in which you may, by the will of fate or because of your own decisions, find yourself, because you will have a choice - a choice of how to act. People who are not free in their souls have no such choice, because other people decide everything for them. And you will have it if you do not refuse to bear responsibility for yourself and your life. In life you will have everything - both successes and failures, and joy, and suffering, and victories, and defeats, and much more that will please and upset you. All this you need to accept as a result of your choice, your decisions, your activities. Even if this is not so, even if we are to a large extent dependent on circumstances and other people - we, you friends, do not need to refer to this. Don't convince yourself that someone else in your life is playing more important role than yourself, for this is a weakness, this is dependence, this is a lack of freedom that kills your personality.

Take responsibility for everything that happens in your life on yourself and for yourself first of all. Do not do this for other people, for them you can play any kind of performance, but for yourself. Be responsible and independent for yourself in order to be free, because only a person who is free in his soul can become a person capable of what most other people are not capable of, shifting responsibility for their lives to everything and everyone. If you shift responsibility to others, you will give them power over yourself, which means you will lose your freedom, which means you will not become a person. And I think you deserve to be! You are already a person, since you have read this article to the end, since you have made the necessary efforts to start moving in the right direction. Therefore, it remains for me to wish you only one thing - do not stray from the chosen path, keep moving, develop a personality in yourself - this is work for a lifetime, but, believe me, it is very generously rewarded. Determine for yourself the purpose for which you should do this work and let it inspire you.