Why it is wrong and harmful to be nervous. What should I do if I am constantly nervous and lose my temper with loved ones? On edge all the time

Sometimes, behind absolutely normal phenomena, disturbances in the functioning of our psyche are hidden.

This is exactly the case with anxiety: the body’s usual defensive reaction can develop into a real disorder and greatly ruin your life.

How to understand: is this temporary excitement or persistent anxiety?

What is anxiety?

It was anxiety that helped our ancestors survive in harsh conditions: this feeling forced the body to mobilize strength, pick up a club and be ready to protect its hut from any adversity. And they, by the way, lay in wait for our ancestor at every step: hunger, cold or heat, poisonous plants and aggressive animals, enemies from the neighboring hut - who knows where danger might accidentally strike? Of course, in such conditions only the most, read: anxious, people survived.

Fortunately for us, times have changed: most of the dangers no longer threaten sapiens. But the habits remained the same.

Now, excessive anxiety can really poison our lives, and we need to do something about it.

First of all, it should be recalled: anxiety is normal, in some places even useful property our body. Because this is exactly the emotion that people experience when they are afraid of something or when they are nervous. And life now is such that there are countless reasons to be nervous every day. Sometimes it happens that we are worried about something, and therefore we throw all our strength into solving the problem, work harder and therefore achieve good results.

And everything would be fine, but if this oppressive feeling prevents you from living, it is no longer just anxiety, but an anxiety disorder - a condition that cannot be called normal.

Remember: if, due to anxious thoughts, you cannot live, work, or enjoy simple things, then this is a disorder and you need to work with it

How does anxiety develop into anxiety disorder?

How and why we get an anxiety disorder, no one can tell us for sure. Some people are aroused by certain symptoms, while others have problems with hormones. In any case, the mechanism for triggering anxiety is this: our brain decides that the situation around us is life-threatening.

Those of us who are more resilient than others accept these brain signals as a possibility, as a warning. But anxious people turn the “maybe” signal into a “so it is” signal. The thought-anxiety process has already started. The body, as in primitive times, is simply obliged to launch a survival program.

Let's figure out what anxiety disorders are?

First of all, generalized. This is when anxiety creeps up on us unnoticed, when you don’t expect it at all. There may be no external reasons for worries, but the feeling is so great that it does not allow you to concentrate on everyday activities. Next comes the social - when a person is afraid to be among people.

“Unreasonable anxiety has been coming in waves since my student days. Then I disowned it as best I could, considering it my sick fantasy and reaction to the exams. Now I understand that this is not nonsense: there are times when I may not leave the house because I am afraid. I don’t know what exactly,” says Vladislav.

Despite the fact that man is a social being, social phobia has existed for decades

The next type is panic disorder. Often people with panic attacks can be confused with drug addicts: we have seen this and it really can be similar. During a panic attack, the heart beats at a rapid pace, there is not enough air, and the vision becomes dark. An all-consuming fear approaches a person, literally paralyzing the entire body.

“When I told my friends about my anxiety, everyone just pointed at their temple: they say, you need treatment. One day I had a panic attack. It happened on a bridge, right in the center of the city. I called an ambulance, they arrived very unhappy. Then it began to seem to me that I was dying, that I was definitely about to die,” continues Vlad.

Finally there is phobias- this is an inexplicable fear of something specific.

“I have an unusual phobia: I experience uncontrollable horror of people who have used drugs. I can’t help it: if I see something like this, I literally become numb, my hands start to shake,” shares Minsk resident Inna.

How can I tell if I have normal stress or an anxiety disorder?

"The main symptom is constant feeling anxiety, which lasts at least six months, provided that there are no reasons to be nervous or they are insignificant and inadequate to the situation.

Anxiety changes your life: you refuse to work, walks, meetings or acquaintances, or some activity just because you are too worried. You feel very tired, irritable, your sleep is disturbed over time, you feel constant fear and cannot relax, you may feel dizzy, your heart rate may increase. If you have at least a few of the symptoms listed, then working with a specialist is simply necessary,” says psychologist Nadezhda Kuzmina in an interview.

If you constantly fiddle with your clothes and feel uncomfortable in any situation, it would be good to contact a specialist

It is impossible to measure the level of anxiety, so accurate test there is no such thing as anxiety. In this difficult matter, it is best to focus on internal sensations. But it is important not to overdo it and not to confuse, for example, stress with anxiety.

A simple example will help you understand how to distinguish one from the other. Stress is a reaction to some stimulus. This means that if you remove the source, it will disappear along with it. For example, if a very unpleasant person calls you, you experience stress while talking with him.

Anxiety is the feeling that remains after the source of irritation has been removed. This is an unpleasant feeling of waiting for a call back. To the point where we don’t want to answer calls even from people we like. And then any phone call turns into torture.

Few people seek help for excessive anxiety. Firstly, “this is the time” - we are all surrounded by stress, so often anxiety passes somewhere in the background. You get so used to it that you think absolutely normal occurrence. Secondly, anxiety is perceived as cowardice, and in our world it is a shame to be a coward.

What can you do to help yourself with an anxiety disorder?

First of all, try to find the obvious source of stress. Maybe the unloved job, for which you have to be so nervous, is to blame? What prevents you from relaxing and taking a deep breath? If you can find the answer to this question, congratulations: your anxiety disorder has passed you by. If there is no obvious reason, you will contact specialists.
How to “switch” a mobilized organism a little? Workout. In the end, sport is also a struggle. But not destructive.

It’s not for nothing that social networks, nutritionists and psychologists talk about the benefits of sports

Finally, you should close your ears to the suggestion of everyone who cares to “just calm down.” It is important to understand: counteracting anxiety is not calm at all, but... reality! Remember how we only think everything is bad right now? In fact, life goes on, but nothing like this actually happens to us. That is why it is important to return to reality and pressing matters. Sports, by the way, are an excellent option for such “grounding”.

So, in general, a state of anxiety is normal for our body, otherwise we simply cannot survive in the world around us. But if this obsessive fear literally prevents you from living, this is a reason to consult a competent doctor. And before taking it, try to fight anxiety on your own: with the help of physical activity, meditation and putting effort into work.

In this article I will talk about how to stop being nervous. I will explain how to remain calm and cool in any life situation without the help of sedatives, alcohol and other things. I will talk not only about how to suppress states of nervousness and calm down, but I will also explain how you can stop being nervous in general, bring the body into a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general, how to calm your mind and how to strengthen the nervous system.

The article will be structured in the form of sequential lessons and it is better to read them in order.

When do we get nervous?

Nervousness and jitters are that feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and activities, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and you’re just worried about all sorts of little things. It is important to understand that nervousness has how psychological so and physiological reasons and manifests itself accordingly. Physiologically this is related to the properties of our nervous system, but psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to worry, overestimation of the significance of certain events, a feeling of self-doubt and what is happening, shyness, worry about the result.

We begin to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our lives, or for one reason or another significant or responsible. I think that a threat to life does not often loom before us, ordinary people. Therefore, I consider situations of the second type to be the main reason for nervousness in everyday life. Fear of failure, of looking inappropriate in front of people- all this makes us nervous. In relation to these fears, there is a certain psychological attunement; this has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let’s start with understanding the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. Necessary defense mechanism or hindrance?

Our palms begin to sweat, we may experience tremors, increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, confusion in our thoughts, it is difficult to gather ourselves, concentrate, it is difficult to sit still, we want to occupy our hands with something, smoke. These are the symptoms of nervousness. Now ask yourself, how much do they help you? Do they help cope with stressful situations? Are you better at negotiating, taking an exam, or communicating on a first date when you're on edge? The answer is, of course not, and what’s more, it can ruin the whole result.

Therefore, it is necessary to firmly understand that the tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction of the body to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. Rather, it is simply a certain mental mechanism embedded in a system of habits and/or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the impact of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why eliminate this? Because when you're nervous:

Your thinking ability decreases and you have a harder time concentrating, which can make things worse and require your mental resources to be stretched to the limit.
You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, and gestures, which can have a bad effect on important negotiations or a date.
Nervousness causes fatigue and tension to accumulate more quickly, which is bad for your health and well-being.
If you are often nervous, this can lead to various diseases (however, a very significant part of diseases stem from problems of the nervous system)
You worry about little things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable things in your life.
You are prone to bad habits: alcohol, because you need to relieve stress with something

Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand psychological pressure, lost control and were deprived. So we will work with you on this.

Here is the first lesson, during which we learned that:

Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only hinders
You can get rid of it by working on yourself
IN Everyday life there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely in danger, we mostly worry about trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article and tell you why this is so.

You should configure yourself like this:

I have no reason to be nervous, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and this is real!

Don’t think that I’m just talking about something that I myself have no idea about. Throughout my childhood, and then my youth, until I was 24 years old, I experienced big pain. I couldn’t pull myself together in stressful situations, I worried about every little thing, I even almost fainted because of my sensitivity! This had a negative impact on health: pressure surges, “panic attacks,” dizziness, etc. began to be observed. Now all this is in the past.

Of course, I can’t say now that I have the best self-control in the world, but all the same, I stopped being nervous in those situations that make most people nervous, I became much calmer, compared to my previous state, I reached a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course, I still have a lot to work on, but I’m on the right path and there is dynamics and progress, I know what to do.

In general, everything I’m talking about here is based solely on my experience of self-development, I’m not making anything up and I’m only talking about what helped me. So if I had not been such a painful, vulnerable and sensitive young man and, then, as a result of personal problems, I had not begun to remake myself - all this experience and the site that summarizes and structures it would not exist.

By the way subscribe to my Instagram follow the link below. Regular useful posts about self-development, meditation, psychology and relieving anxiety and panic attacks.

Lesson 2. How to stop being nervous about anything?

Think about all those events that make you nervous: your boss calls you, you take an exam, you expect an unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, evaluate the degree of their importance for you, but not in isolation, but within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the significance of an altercation on public transport or on the road on a life-long scale, and is it really such a terrible thing to be late for work and be nervous about it?

Is this something to think about and worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, take a break from the current moment. I am sure that from this perspective, many things that you are nervous about will immediately lose their significance in your eyes, will turn into mere trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries.

This psychological setting helps a lot stop being nervous about anything. But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of reason, can react in its own way. Therefore, let's move on and I will explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation immediately before any event, during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before an important event.

Now some important event is inexorably approaching us, during which our intelligence, composure and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will generously reward us, otherwise we will lose. This event could be a final interview for the job you dream of, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this must be done so that this condition does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and achieving it.

And you realize that an important event awaits you ahead, but no matter how significant it is, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your whole life for you: there is no need to dramatize and overestimate everything. It is precisely from the very importance of this event that the need to be calm and not worry arises. This is too important an event to let nervousness ruin it, so I will be collected and focused and will do everything for this!

Now we bring our thoughts to calm, relieve the jitters. First, immediately throw all thoughts of failure out of your head. In general, try to calm down the fuss and not think about anything. Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale and inhale deeply. The simplest breathing exercises will help you relax.

Simple breathing exercises.

It should be done like this:

inhale for 4 counts (or 4 pulse beats, you need to feel it first, it’s more convenient to do this on the neck, not on the wrist)
keep the air in for 2 counts/hits
exhale for 4 counts/beats
do not breathe for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats - all from the beginning

In short, as the doctor says: breathe - don’t breathe. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that your breathing allows you to take deeper inhalations/exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

You just need to breathe with your diaphragm, that is, with your stomach! During times of stress, we breathe rapidly from the chest, while diaphragmatic breathing calms the heartbeat, suppressing the physiological signs of nervousness, bringing you into a state of calm.

During the exercise, keep your attention only on your breathing! There should be no more thoughts! It is most important. And then after 3 minutes you will feel relaxed and calm. The exercise is done for no more than 5-7 minutes, according to how it feels. When practiced regularly, breathing practice not only helps you relax here and now, but also in general puts the nervous system in order and you are less nervous without any exercise. So I highly recommend it.

You can see my video on how to do diaphragmatic breathing correctly at the end of this article. In this video I talk about how to cope with panic using breathing. But this method will also allow you to get rid of nervousness, calm down and pull yourself together.

Other relaxation techniques are presented in my article.

Okay, so we are prepared. But the time for the event itself has already arrived. Next I will talk about how to behave during the event so as not to be nervous and to be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4. How to avoid nervousness during an important meeting.

Pretend to be calm: even if neither your emotional mood nor breathing exercises helped you relieve tension, then at least try with all your might to demonstrate external calm and equanimity. And this is necessary not only to mislead your opponents about your state on this moment. Expressing outer peace helps to achieve inner peace. This works on the principle feedback, not only your well-being determines your facial expressions, but also your facial expressions determine your well-being. This principle is easy to test: when you smile at someone, you feel better and more cheerful, even if you were in a bad mood before. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my invention, it is really a fact, it is even written about in Wikipedia in the article “emotions”. So the calmer you want to appear, the more relaxed you actually become.

Watch your facial expressions, gestures and intonation: The feedback principle obliges you to constantly look inside yourself and be aware of how you look from the outside. Do you seem too stressed? Are your eyes shifting? Are the movements smooth and measured or abrupt and impulsive? Does your face express cold impenetrability or can all your excitement be read on it? In accordance with the information about yourself received from your senses, you adjust all your body movements, voice, and facial expression. The fact that you have to take care of yourself in itself helps you get together and concentrate. And it’s not just that with the help of internal observation you control yourself. By observing yourself, you focus your thoughts on one point - on yourself, and do not let them get confused and lead you in the wrong direction. This is how concentration and calm are achieved.

Eliminate all markers of nervousness: What do you usually do when you're nervous? Are you fiddling with a ballpoint pen? Are you chewing on a pencil? Are you tying your left big toe and little toe into a knot? Now forget about it, keep your hands straight and don’t change their positions often. We don’t fidget in our chair, we don’t shift from foot to foot. We continue to look after ourselves.

Take your time: rush and bustle always sets a special nervous tone. Therefore, take your time even if you are late for a meeting. Since any rush very quickly disrupts composure and a calm mood. You begin to nervously rush from one to another, in the end you only provoke excitement. No matter how much you are rushed, do not rush, being late is not so scary, it is better to save your nerves. This applies not only to important meetings: try to get rid of haste in every aspect of your life: when you are getting ready for work, traveling in public transport, doing work. It's an illusion that when you rush, you achieve results faster. Yes, the speed increases, but only slightly, but you lose a lot in composure and concentration.

That's all. All these principles complement each other and can be summarized in the call “ watch yourself". The rest is specific and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I would only advise you to think about each of your phrases, take your time with your answer, carefully weigh and analyze everything. There is no need to try to make an impression in all available ways, you will make one if you do everything right and don’t worry, work on the quality of your performance. There is no need to mumble and get lost if you are caught by surprise: calmly swallow, forget and move on.

Lesson 5. Calm down after the meeting.

Whatever the outcome of the event. You're on edge and still feeling stressed. It's better to take it off and think about something else. All the same principles apply here that helped you pull yourself together before the meeting itself. Try not to think too much about the past event: I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, what if I had performed this way and not that way, oh, how stupid I must have looked, oh I’m a fool, what if...! Just throw all thoughts out of your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if), everything has already passed, put your breathing in order and relax your body. That's all for this lesson.

Lesson 6. You shouldn’t create any reasons for nervousness at all.

This is a very important lesson. Typically, a significant factor in nervousness is the inadequacy of your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything and are confident in yourself, why should you worry about the result?

When I was studying at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, went to the exams completely unprepared, hoping that I would pass and somehow pass. In the end, I passed, but only thanks to phenomenal luck or the kindness of the teachers. I often went for retakes. As a result, during the session I experienced such unprecedented psychological pressure every day due to the fact that I was trying to prepare in a hurry and somehow pass the exam.

During the sessions, an unrealistic number of nerve cells were destroyed. And I still felt sorry for myself, I thought that there was so much that had piled up, how hard it was, eh... Although it was all my fault, if I had done everything in advance (I didn’t have to go to lectures, but at least the material to prepare for the exam and pass I could provide myself with all the intermediate control tests - but then I was laziness and I was not at least somehow organized), then I would not have to be so nervous during the exams and worry about the result and about the fact that I would be drafted into the army if I I won’t hand over something, because I would be confident in my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and study at institutes, I’m talking about the fact that you need to try yourself Do not create stress factors for yourself in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and don’t put it off until the last minute! Always have a ready-made plan in your head, or better yet several! This will save you a significant part of your nerve cells, and in general will contribute to great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7. How to strengthen the nervous system and how to stop getting nervous over trifles

In order to stop being nervous, it is not enough just to follow the lessons that I outlined above. It is also necessary to bring the body and mind into a state of peace. And the next thing I will tell you about will be those rules, following which you can strengthen your nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, be calmer and more relaxed. As a result of this you will understand how to stop being nervous over trifles. These methods are focused on long-term results; they will make you less susceptible to stress in general, and not only prepare you for a responsible event.

Firstly, in order to correct the physiological factor of nervousness and bring the nervous system to a state of rest, you need to regularly. This is very good for calming the nervous system and calming the mind. I’ve written a lot about this, so I won’t dwell on it.
Secondly, go in for sports () and take a set of health-supporting measures (contrast showers, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). A healthy body has a healthy mind: your moral well-being depends not only on mental factors. Sports strengthens the nervous system.
Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit in front of the computer less.

The state of nervousness is not alien to every person, especially given the high pace of life and the huge number of information flows. In such conditions, even minor failures can lead to depression, apathy and other nervous disorders. In order to stop worrying about and without it, you need to learn to control your emotions. There are certain ways to help you calm down and stop being nervous.

Causes of nervousness.

The state of anxiety and mental anguish can be provoked by various circumstances. Each person has different values, and for this reason, different situations can throw him off balance. Often, a person himself heats up the situation by attaching excessive significance to things that are not worth it. Causes of nervousness can be:

Dangerous situations that pose a threat to health or life;
Fear of failure or, in fact, failure itself;
Fear of looking inappropriate in front of others;
on the eve of important events;
Anxiety over conflicts and everyday trifles.

The occurrence of moral discomfort due to any stress factor is not physiological process, this is a psychological adjustment. From a physiological point of view, nervousness is associated with the properties of the nervous system, and from a psychological point of view, it is associated with personality characteristics. Thus, the tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction to stress, but a specific person’s reaction to what is happening.

How to stop being nervous?

Thanks to hard work on yourself, it is possible to overcome the state of nervousness. The following ways will help you control your emotions:

1. Avoidance or elimination of stress.

If you know that a particular situation causes you to experience bouts of anxiety and negative emotions, then, if possible, you should avoid them in advance. If the situation arose spontaneously, then try to find a way to eliminate it. However, not all problems can be “run away”. This method is suitable if you are upset by a movie, communication with a new acquaintance, news in social network– close the movie, leave the meeting, go offline.

2. Distraction.

If it is impossible to use the method of avoiding negativity, this method will be appropriate. If you find yourself in an environment that makes you nervous, it's worth trying distraction techniques. A good option is mental distraction - thinking about something of your own, but visual distraction - contemplation on something extraneous - works even better. This strategy is suitable for meetings and travel.

3. Drink water.

A simple but scientifically proven method. A glass of water, drunk without haste, can trigger the body’s self-rehabilitation mechanism. The method is relevant in any situation.

4. Passion for an interesting activity.

This method is suitable if you cannot “let go” of the problem, if it torments and irritates you again and again. Techniques can include: reading an exciting book, knitting, drawing, computer games, active recreation. You should be interested in some kind of intrigue, courage, rapid development of events. In pursuit of new sensations, it is important to follow the rule - do not harm anyone else.

5. Water procedures.

Water is a healing agent for improving psycho-emotional state. Water, both literally and figuratively, washes away all the “dirt.” The following techniques can be used: taking a bath or shower (can be combined with music therapy and light therapy), visiting a sauna or bathhouse, swimming in a river/pond/sea. Even ordinary washing of dishes will help to distract you and bring benefits in the form of directly clean dishes and normalization of your state of mind.

6. Physical relaxation.

This method physiologically causes physical relaxation and, as a result, moral relief. Among the effective methods are: long walks in the fresh air, dancing, general cleaning, gardening, sports training, and destruction of old things.

7. Intimacy.

Sex is a great cure for the blues. Ideally, sexual contact should occur with a loved one, but other options are also acceptable. The main thing is to approach the issue wisely and not forget about contraception, otherwise the stress that you can experience after taking a pregnancy test will overshadow all other efforts.

8. Comparison.

It is enough to compare your situation with a worse case scenario. This method teaches you to appreciate what you have and realize that your situation is not worth such nerves. An effective method can be called for minor problems that are not related to health and a significant decrease in quality of life.

9. Positive outlook.

A stressful event should be assessed in a positive way. That is, you need to find the positives in the fact that this happened. Maybe thanks to this, you will get much more and pleasant events await you.

10. Laughter and tears.

These two opposite phenomena can bring moral relief. Although their intertwining is possible: laughter to tears, crying to laughter. Making fun of the problem itself or laughing about something else will lift your mood and help you move away from anxiety faster. Crying, the stronger the better, relieves stress. Even though in the process of sobbing it seems to you that relief is still far away, a new wave of emotions may wash over you, but after the hysteria ends, you will definitely feel better. With tears, toxic substances that are formed during stress are released from the body.

11. Account.

The standard method of counting to 10 will help normalize breathing and control the surge of negative emotions. The method is suitable for athletes, and in situations where you want to avoid conflict.

12. Work.

Passion for your responsibilities at work, additional tasks are very appropriate if you need to take your mind off the problem. This method is suitable for long-term stress.

13. Verbalization.

Maintaining personal diary, whom you trust with all moments of your life. Not everyone will like this method, but systematically writing down your thoughts on paper will help you get through unpleasant moments faster.

14. Communication with friends.

It is not necessary to speak out about a disturbing topic, especially if it is not significant. It’s better not to remember the unpleasant incident once again, but just communicate and enjoy it. But, as an option, discussing your problem is also acceptable. Friends will listen, it may be important for you, and they may advise you on something else.

What methods are better not to resort to?

There is a group of methods that have only an apparent positive effect on combating nervousness:

Drinking coffee
"Sticking" problems
Smoking
Drinking alcohol
Taking drugs

Perhaps these methods will help to overcome stress, but their use, especially in large quantities, brings enormous harm to health and, ultimately, to a person’s entire life. Therefore, in the balance, the harm significantly outweighs the benefit.

It is very important to learn to live without burdening yourself with worries about trifles. Your health depends on this useful skill, since frequent nervous breakdowns can lead to its deterioration.

There is a category of people who are constantly in a state of anxiety. As soon as their next problem is resolved, another appears on the horizon. They start to get nervous again. Years pass like this. Such a negative habit deprives people of the joy of life, takes away strength, and has a detrimental effect on health. If you belong to this category and are striving to become happier, then you definitely need to learn how to stop being nervous.

What does stress lead to?

A person who is anxious, nervous, is constantly in a zone of discomfort. Unpleasant sensations arise before an important meeting, event, presentation, or acquaintance. The appearance of nervousness is dictated psychological aspects personality. People get nervous if they fail, hear refusal, or look funny in the eyes of others.

Such psychological factors can greatly ruin your life. It is not surprising that these people are tormented by the question: how to calm down and stop being nervous?

An irritated person is unable to control life. All efforts are aimed at coping with negative emotions.

Losing control over life can lead to unpleasant consequences:

The use of means that allow you to get rid of problems for a short time (use of various medications, smoking, alcoholism).
A loss life guidelines. A person, fearing failures, cannot and does not want to realize his dreams and desires.
Reduced brain performance.
Stress can lead to chronic fatigue, which can lead to serious illness.
Loss of control over the emotional sphere.

As you can see, the prospects are quite unpleasant. So let's figure out what you need to do to stop being nervous.

Fear Analysis

Most often, people who lack self-confidence experience a feeling of discomfort, which creates nervousness. What to do? How to stop being nervous and worried? Only long-term work on your thoughts and yourself will help you get rid of constant anxiety.

Initially, analyze your fears and acknowledge them. Take a sheet of paper and divide it in half. On the left, write the problems that you can solve. On the right - unsolvable.

Study the problems you wrote on the left. You know how to solve each of them. With a little effort, these problems will not exist. Then are they really worth worrying about?

Now go to the right column. Each of these problems does not depend on your actions. And no matter how hard you try, you cannot influence the course of her decision. So is it worth worrying about these problems?

Face your fears. This will take some time. But you will clearly determine which of the problems were groundless and which were real.

Remember your childhood

When analyzing how to stop being nervous about anything, try to remember the time when you were a little child.

Quite often the problem stems from childhood. Perhaps your parents often used your neighbor’s children as an example, describing their merits. This created low self-esteem. Such people, as a rule, are acutely aware of someone's superiority and are unable to put up with it.

How to stop being nervous in this case? It's time to understand that all people are different. And everyone has both advantages and disadvantages. It's time to accept yourself. Learn to accept your weaknesses calmly. And at the same time appreciate the virtues.

Day of rest

If the question of how to calm down and stop being nervous has begun to arise in your head very often, then you need to relax a little. Give yourself a day of rest.

For maximum relaxation, use the recommendations of psychologists:

Disconnect from your responsibilities. To do this, you need to prepare in advance. If you work, take a day off as vacation. Those who have children are advised to ask family or friends to babysit them in advance, and maybe even hire a nanny. Sometimes, to get a good rest, you just need to change the usual scenario. Think about your travel route in advance and reserve your tickets.
Take a bath in the morning. On a rest day, you can get out of bed whenever you want. And immediately take a relaxing bath. It has been proven that water treatments help relieve stress, calm the mind and help bring order to chaotic thoughts. For the best relaxing effect, add soothing herbs or your favorite essential oils to your bath. A pleasant aroma will make you feel more positive.
Drink a cup of tea or coffee with friends. If the last drink leads to a headache or stimulates nervousness, then exclude this item from your activities on the rest day. Remember, coffee drunk while chatting with friends has a relaxing effect on the body. Drinking alone increases stress.
Do something exciting that you don’t have time for in normal life. It's time to remember your hobbies. On this day you can take up painting, write a story or compose a new song. Perhaps you will be completely captivated by home improvement. Reading a book can be a great way to relax.
Prepare a delicious dish. How to stop being nervous? Treat yourself to delicious food. This is what you need while on vacation. After all, delicious food is one of the sources of human pleasure.
Watch a movie. The most relaxing and calm way to have an interesting pastime is watching movies. And it doesn’t matter whether you do it in an apartment with friends or visit a cinema.

Methods for getting out of a stressful situation

Unfortunately, not everyone and not always can afford to set aside a whole day for rest. In addition, unpleasant feelings and thoughts can come suddenly. How to stop being nervous about anything in such a situation? After all, it is necessary to feel relief now and here. In other words, get rid of a stressful situation.

Get rid of the source of stress for a while. Give yourself a short break. Even a few minutes of complete idleness will be enough for you. Experts say that such breaks not only help relieve nervousness, but also stimulate enthusiasm and creative thinking.
Look at the situation with different eyes. When a person feels excited and irritated, he records precisely the feelings. Try to find the reason that caused such violent emotions. To understand how to stop being nervous about every occasion, ask yourself the question: why did this bring me out of a state of calm? Perhaps you are not appreciated at work, or the salary is too low. Having identified the source, you can outline a strategy for your further actions.
Talk through your problem. It is important to choose the right interlocutor here. This should be a person who can patiently listen to your problem. By talking through the situation, oddly enough, you not only “let off steam”, but also force your brain to analyze the state of affairs and find solutions.
Smile, or better yet, laugh. It is this event that “launches” human brain production chemical substances stimulating improved mood.
Redirect the energy. If you are overwhelmed with negative emotions, then physical training will help improve your mood and reduce stress levels. An excellent method of redirecting energy is to engage in creativity.

New daily routine

How to stop being nervous before a work day or an important event?

The following recommendations will help you overcome unpleasant moments:

Tasty breakfast. To ensure you're in a good mood in the morning, prepare yourself something you love in advance. It could be yogurt, chocolate or cake. Glucose will energize you and help you wake up.
Exercise. Turn on your favorite pleasant music and do some exercises or dance. This will protect the body from stress.
Learn to distract yourself. If a situation arises at work that makes you nervous, think about home, family, or any thing that evokes pleasant associations in you.
Use water. How to stop being nervous over trifles? Water can be very calming. Of course, you won't be able to take a bath at work. But you can turn on the faucet and wash the cup or just watch the stream flow. It is effectively calming.
Look for the positives. If you cannot change the situation itself, then try to change your attitude towards it. If your salary was not paid on Friday, then there will be no temptation to spend it on the weekend.
Count to 10. An old proven way to find peace.
Write a letter. Trust paper with all your problems. Then tear the letter into small pieces or even burn it. At this time, mentally imagine that all your troubles burn away with him.

Life without stress

Above we looked at methods to overcome unpleasant situations. Now let's figure out how to stop being nervous and start living stress-free.

To do this, you need to develop behavioral patterns and good habits that will bring a sense of peace and happiness into your life:

Take a walk in the fresh air. Scientific research confirmed that such walks significantly improve mood. Especially if you combine them with moderate physical activity.
Play sports. This is a reliable protection against diseases caused by stress. Regular exercise provides a calm, positive attitude towards your life.
Don't neglect rest. The quality of sleep has a huge impact on a person's well-being. Chronic lack of sleep often becomes one of the factors provoking the appearance of nervousness and irritability. In addition, people who neglect proper rest have a high risk of developing quite unpleasant diseases such as stroke and heart attack.
Get rid of bad habits. Some people, wondering how to stop being nervous, resort to smoking or drinking, trying to “relax” in this way. However, neither alcohol nor tobacco can relieve irritability and nervousness. They only dampen the severity of the problem for a while, delaying the moment of making a decision.

Calming techniques for pregnant women

For women who are in an interesting position, anxiety is generally contraindicated. But it is during this period that expectant mothers become extremely vulnerable and can get upset over trifles. How to stop being nervous during pregnancy?

There are several simple ways:

Don't give a damn about everything! A pregnant woman should only worry about her health. No matter what events happen nearby, it should be clearly understood that the expectant mother is responsible for the child. Is it possible to put at risk the most precious thing in a woman’s life? Now look at the problem. Is she worth the risk? No! So forget about it.
Mentally create a wall. Imagine that you are reliably protected from the outside world. Pass exclusively positive and pleasant information through the imaginary wall. Let only positive-minded people into your world.
Be more tolerant. It's not as difficult as it might seem. Just think that not all people are able to control themselves and emotions as well as you.
Look for the positive in life. Smile more often, surround yourself with things that bring joy, listen to pleasant music, read interesting books.

Each person must choose the activities that will help him relax and stop being nervous.

You might find these tips useful:

Look at the clouds floating in the sky.
Wash your face with cold water.
In rainy weather, look at the rain, listen to the uniform patter of drops.
Ask a loved one to read a book out loud to you until you fall asleep.
Take paints or pencils and draw whatever comes to your mind. Don't worry about the details and the end result.

Specialist help

If the above recommendations do not help you, then contact a psychotherapist or psychologist for help. The doctor will listen to you and conduct special tests. He will help determine the causes of stressful situations and suggest ways to resolve them. The doctor will develop a strategy on how to stop being nervous and strengthen the nervous system.

If necessary, you will be prescribed sedatives. These can be either medications or herbs. Mint, valerian, St. John's wort, chamomile, and lavender have an excellent calming effect.

However, do not overuse such drugs. They will not rid you of nervousness forever. Such remedies can only help temporarily.