Old Christy is resting! Life sometimes comes up with such detective stories that even the coolest writers feel weak! A waterfall of misfortunes suddenly fell on the head of Tatyana Sergeeva. Suddenly her husband died, she was left without work, the apartment burned down, the last hundred rubles are in her purse. It would seem that nowhere is worse! What to do poor notorious bbw? Out of desperation, she is hired as an assistant to a private detective by a nimble old man named Gree. Having stoically endured several attempts on her life and health, Tatyana understands that the black streak is over, and the old man is still hoo-hoo!!!

A series: Tatyana Sergeeva. Detective on a Diet

* * *

by the LitRes company.

A crowd swirled near the Oktyabrskoye Pole metro station. Looking at people scurrying back and forth, I walked down the street, turned right, then left. It seems that no one works in our country! The people should now yearn in the service, and people rush through the streets, and it is immediately clear that they are not in a hurry, staring at the windows, chewing hot dogs and pancakes. Suddenly, my mouth filled with saliva, and my stomach clenched disgustingly. My legs took me to the booth where they sold sausages, but then my eyes stumbled upon a sign: "Furniture for everyone." Taking a deep breath, I entered the store. The late granny always said: done the job, walk boldly. This simple truth has been hammered into my head since childhood.

In the sales area, completely packed with sofas, armchairs, tables and chairs, none of the buyers was observed. Three saleswomen gathered around a computer in the department that sold kitchens.

- Do you want what? one asked, taking an appraising look at my figure, dressed in a cheap wrinkled suit. – Would you like to buy furniture? We are at your service.

- Where is Igor Sergeevich? I decided to immediately grab the bull by the horns.

“The owner is in the office, down that corridor to the very end,” the saleswoman answered, and, having lost all interest in me, she again stared at the screen, where some multi-colored figures were rushing about.

Rejoicing that everything was going well, I reached the office door, first knocked, and then opened the sash.

“Yes, yes, come in,” the man of the most ordinary physique answered. There was nothing remarkable in his appearance, meeting such on the street, you will not stop looking at him. The only thing that distinguished the guy from the rest of the men of his age was a thick black beard, wide, full, neatly trimmed, a mustache of the same color sticking out above his upper lip.

- I hear you, what's the problem? the owner asked.

I was confused: what to answer a simple question? Why did you come? At first it seemed to me that Gri's task was easy to complete. Enter the office, click the powder box and run away, but now I suddenly realized how stupid such behavior would look. Well, imagine for a moment, a girl flies in to you, silently fixes her makeup, powders her nose and storms away.

"So how can I help you?" Igor Sergeevich continued to insist.

“A red leather chair,” I blurted out, remembering Gree's instructions.

- In the second room, by the window, - the owner of the salon calmly answered, - ask the sellers.

I dutifully went back, for some reason admired the chair and returned to the director.

“Well,” he smiled, “is it suitable?”

- No, - I answered, - yours are burgundy, but I want red, bright, like a fire engine.

- Take a catalog from the sellers, - Igor Sergeevich advised, - if you find the right option, we will order it directly from Italy, but it will be more expensive.

“I don’t care about money,” I decided to continue the successfully started dialogue.

- Then contact the managers.

I again crawled out into the trading floor, the girls, called to sell furniture, crowded around the computer, recklessly clicking the mouse.

“You won’t get through here, you’ll lose your life,” cried one.

“No, here you have to “click” three times,” another responded.

No one resolutely paid attention to me, after standing for a couple of seconds, I returned back.

- Already completed? Igor Sergeyevich was surprised.

– What is it?

I haven't seen the catalog.

- Why?

- There the sellers are playing on the computer, I didn’t want to distract them.

The owner angrily jabbed his finger at some apparatus on the table.

“Listen,” came the voice immediately.

- Go here!

A second later, the girl who clicked the mouse appeared.

“Rita,” the owner declared angrily, “I will fire you!”

- For what? - the girl backed up. – What did I do wrong?

“That’s right, nothing,” retorted the owner. - The client runs to me endlessly with questions, and you are having fun at the monitor. Quickly show the catalog to the lady, she wants to order a red leather armchair from Italy.

“Let's go,” the saleswoman muttered, almost bowing.

There was nothing to do, I had to flip through glossy pages in search of a chair, fortunately, there was none, and I returned to Igor again.

- No, nothing like that.

Samsonov spread his hands.

- I can offer an exclusive option, one of the products is covered with red leather especially for you.

- And how much will the order cost?

“About two thousand dollars,” the merchant replied calmly. - They will do it in a couple of weeks, delivery in Moscow at our expense, prepayment of seventy percent!

– Will it work well? I grimaced, frantically thinking when to take out the camera.

To be honest, I rarely put on makeup, only when it is absolutely necessary, I don’t have the habit of constantly “correcting” my face.

- I guarantee the quality, - Igor Sergeevich smiled.

And then I made up my mind, with a careless gesture, pulled out a compact and ... dropped it. The lid popped open, tan powder spilling onto the gray carpet.

“Excuse me,” I stammered, picking up the box, “I messed up here ...

“Nonsense,” the owner dismissed, “so how? Shall we start placing an order?

I opened the compact, pressed down on the powder puff, and muttered:

It seemed indecent to me to leave just like that, the owner spent so much time on the “client”.

“Excellent,” Igor Sergeevich smiled, “Rita will do everything. Payment is accepted in rubles, congratulations, you have made an excellent choice, today we offer the best prices.

Then, smiling again, he stared at the papers. I cautiously glanced at the trading floor. Rita, forgetting about the thrashing received from the owner, was again sitting at the computer. Terribly delighted, I slipped past the saleswomen, rushed to the subway and breathed a sigh of relief only at the station. Looking around, I sat down on a bench and pulled a picture out of my camera. Igor Sergeevich turned out perfectly: a luxurious beard, mustache and an inexpressive upper part of the face. I put the photo in my purse, I don't like men with facial hair. Such gentlemen probably have a bunch of crumbs stuck in their beards after eating. Here's another interesting, do they wash their beards? How do they wash themselves? And does the lush vegetation interfere with sleep? It's hot in the summer with facial hair!

On the way to the post office, it dawned on me, and in a fit of inspiration, I bought a chocolate bar in a stall.

This time there was only Galya in the department.

- And what, - she asked, - again came running?

“This is for you,” I said, setting the tile on the counter.

- Take it.

“So simple,” I shrugged.

“I don’t eat sweets,” Galya replied calmly, “if you bring me a bottle of beer, I’ll certainly say thank you, but I’m going to get pimples from sweets, I’m just hooked from them, allergies, have you heard about such a sore?

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” I said and put the chocolate in my bag.

- Are you picking up?

So it's allergies...

- Nothing, leave it, I'll take it to my nephew.

I returned the tile to its place, pulled out the photo and shoved it under Galya's nose.

- What is it?

– Do you know?

Well, do you see the guy?

I tried not to get angry, it seems that the saying “With him, without having dinner, you can’t agree” was added about Galya. My stomach rumbled, oh, in vain I remembered food!

- Where? - stupidly repeated the girl.

- On the picture.

- A Th ... Nothing ...

“So it’s not him,” I said, upset.

- She herself said yesterday: she sent postcards, such a one with a beard, nasty, he cursed everything, Igor Samsonov ... This is his photo. It turns out that you mixed up, did not he go here?

“Yes, well,” Galya drawled, “why not him?” Exactly how it looks alive, the same one is. I remembered the nasty face very well, disgusting man! Finally, I don’t like bearded ones, you won’t kiss him.

I nodded.

- And I don’t like it, but are you sure that Samsonov is in the photo?

- May I fall! Galya swore.

Terribly pleased, I rushed over to Gris and handed Granddad a voice recorder, a camera, and a picture.

“Excellent,” he nodded, “you can drink tea, don’t look for sugar, I threw it away.”

About half an hour later, Grie shouted:

- Well, run to the office!

I flew to the call.

“Sit down here,” Gree ordered, “and listen carefully. In my opinion, this is how it works. Andrei Lvovich deceived the Samsonovs, and Igor Sergeevich decided to take revenge on the tutor. He began to send postcards, wanting to scare the peasant, and succeeded. Andrey Lvovich probably did not sleep last week, but considering how the teacher dealt with the Samsonovs, Igor Sergeevich's behavior is quite understandable. Except he was doing stupid things, sending stupid postcards from a branch near his house. If you have such a conspicuous appearance, you should be more vigilant. Well, I would go somewhere to Mitino... Do you understand my reasoning?

I nodded, and the same thoughts came to my mind.

“So the case is solved,” Grie summed up. “You and I can present evidence. There is a witness, this Galya, who identifies Igor Sergeevich. Great, it didn't take long. However, this story is of little interest, everything is very simple. I would never have taken it on, only I need money, there have been no orders for a long time, I spent a little. It's clear?

I sighed.

- Well, great, - said Gree, - now we will announce to the client that he can come by eight in the evening and pay the bill.

He grabbed the phone, poked at the buttons, waited a minute and muttered:

– Mobile turned off.

“And you try home,” I advised and was surprised. Usually I find it difficult to get along with people, I always say “you” to recent acquaintances, but with Grie I instantly, very easily, despite his age, switched to “you”.

“I suppose he is at work,” Gree replied, but he listened to me and after a second said: “Good afternoon!” May I have Andrey Lvovich? What?!! When?!! Can not be!!! God!

After hanging up, Gree stared at me, I shuddered.

- Has there been a problem?

“Happened,” Grey repeated grimly. Andrey Lvovich died. He was first beaten beyond recognition, and then thrown into a pond. I don't know the details. He killed him!

- Who? I asked dumbfounded, and then added: “So we won’t get the money?”

- No, - said Gri, - we were left without a fee. But I won't sit back!

He grabbed the phone again.

- Fedya, can you come urgently? There is a conversation.

Obviously, a man unknown to me began to refuse, but Grie unexpectedly said:

- Last night, the body of Andrei Lvovich Kalyagin was pulled out of the pond near the Buran cinema, it looks like a hanging. Most likely, the one who will deal with this matter will consider that Kalyagin was robbed, beaten, and then, in order to hide the ends in the water, sorry for the stupid pun, they drowned the corpse. But I know exactly the identity of the killer ... Or rather, I have information about who hired the killer, because the scoundrel will not get dirty himself and probably stocked up with an alibi.

Hanging up the phone, Gree rubbed his hands.

- He'll be here now.

- Who? I asked.

I blushed. I am a very neat person, accustomed to take a shower every evening. My wardrobe, meager and unfashionable, is always washed and ironed. But yesterday I, stupefied with worries, collapsed into bed in a bag, forgetting to run to the bathroom. In addition, I do not have interchangeable things: simple cosmetics, shoes and clothes are damaged by soot.

Gris narrowed his eyes, then tossed a few bills onto the table.

“Go to the store,” he ordered, “there is a department store around the corner, good things trades, buy normal clothes.

“Darlings, I suppose,” I sighed, for some reason not indignant at the unceremonious order.

“Nothing,” Grey waved him off, “you are now my employee and you must look decent, truncated?” So, so, buy clothes, and bring me checks.

Are you afraid that I will deceive you and tell you an inflated price? I'm sorry, but I'm an honest person and...

“I don’t want her to save money, get shit, and then lie to me, as if she spent all the money on the outfit,” Grie barked.

- I never lie! – I was indignant. - I can only borrow money, I will receive a salary and give it back, do not hesitate.

- Yes? Grandpa raised his eyebrows. - Oh well! Hey, honest man, pay yourself another phone.

I went to the shop. A variety of thoughts swirled around in my head. Actually, I am very touchy, I quarreled with many people because of nonsense, Etty was the only friend left. She couldn't be offended. Now, it seems, in my life there was one more person with whom it is impossible to quarrel. It seems Grie is making impartial statements about me, but I have no anger at him.

In the trading floor, I habitually approached the 56th size, chose a dress, skirt, jacket, blouse and went to the fitting room. A surprise awaited me there: the selected clothes turned out to be too big for me. She twisted at the waist and fell off her shoulders.

“Excuse me,” I called the saleswoman, “is this dress a size fifty-six?” I must have made a mistake and grabbed the fifty-eighth.

The saleswoman looked at the tags.

- No, everything is correct, it is written over there, you see - the number 56.

But it's too big for me!

“Of course, you have the fifty-fourth, and maybe even the fifty-second.

“No, no, I know my size well,” I muttered in confusion.

“So you lost weight,” the saleswoman smiled and held out a hanger. “Try this, take it brighter, it will suit you.

I obediently climbed into the proposed thing and gasped, the dress sat like a glove, my waist appeared out of nowhere. In complete shock, I paid for a new thing and went home right in it, taking an express payment card for my phone at the checkout.

Carefully opening the door with the key I received from Gree, I quickly darted into the bathroom, if my memory serves me right, I saw a scale there today in the corner.

And sure enough, here they are! Having quickly undressed, I stood on the cold plastic, looked at the numbers that popped up in the window, rubbed my eyes, shook my head and weighed again: 79.500. The precision instrument showed the weight in grams. I sat on the edge of the tub and thought about it.

Since I was a teenager, I have been struggling with extra pounds. I have tried all the possible and impossible diets that are written about in newspapers and magazines. French, when it was proposed to eat hard-boiled eggs and kefir, Danish, prescribing breakfast, lunch and dinner with herring, Italian, offering to feast on pasta without oil, ketchup and sauces, Russian, Chinese, protein, protein-free, watermelon, grape, magical recipes of Sophia Loren and Natalia Fateeva ...

As a result of heroic efforts, I lost several kilograms, five at the most. But as soon as I, rejoiced, began to wrap my favorite buckwheat porridge and cottage cheese with sour cream, the hated fat again settled in the sirloin.

Once, when I was already married, I went to the doctor. He explained to me that all diets are complete nonsense, you can’t break genetics, it appeared from his words that I was doomed to exist as an elephant carcass.

I came home in tears, pulled out an album of family photos and stared at them. Here we are with my parents in the Crimea. A plump mom, packed in a bathing suit that looks like a tank cover, a portly dad with a huge belly and sloping shoulders in family shorts to the knees, and between them a little donut girl, absolutely round, like a donut. An apple does not fall far from an apple tree, oranges will not be born from an aspen, a bear will not bring a wolf cub ... What else folk wisdom had about this? I stirred up glossy shots; thin, graceful, slender, like Etty, I will never become. I suddenly remembered the picture that my mother-in-law has in the bedroom, it depicts a thin, fit man and woman dressed in ski suits. Yes, Etty was just lucky, her parents weighed less than one of my fathers.

Since then, I stopped fighting weight, just resigned to the image of a fat woman. The hope of gaining harmony suddenly flared up some time ago. One of my former colleagues, Nina Efimova, went on vacation as a cow and returned as a doe. Naturally, everyone started asking questions. Nina, smiling mysteriously, answered:

“I just don’t eat after six in the evening now, and this is the result.

I believed Efimova and also decided to introduce a “curfew”, but I didn’t notice any special changes in my figure, moreover, after three weeks of bullying over my appetite, I fainted right at the workplace. Well, at least most of the office gossips were sitting in the dining room at that moment. I was brought to my senses by the same Efimova.

- Are you pregnant? Nina exclaimed with concern. - You're walking pale.

“I want to lose weight,” I admitted. - So I don’t eat almost anything, I’m following your path.

Nina sighed and pulled a package out of her bag.

“Here,” she said. “So be it, I’ll tell the truth. This is Xenical, a special drug, it limits the absorption of dietary fats, and this is what makes you slim. Very simple! Just don’t let our snakes out, I don’t want to share information with them.

- Isn't it dangerous? I asked doubtfully.

“I don’t buy from my hands,” Nina explained. - I take it at the pharmacy. In addition, the doctor prescribed me Xenical. The medicine is made in Switzerland. However, now there are various medicines for aunts of our complexion who want to become reeds. But Xenical has advantages...

- And what are they? I muttered, fighting my dizziness.

- Well, firstly, it is studied and tested. It is accepted by all sorts of celebrities such as Hollywood actors, you yourself understand that they don’t want anything bad for themselves. But, most importantly, Xenical helps to maintain the resulting weight. And then as it happens: I lost seven kilos, and a month later they returned back and took a couple more friends with them. Yes, try it yourself, look at me and do not doubt - it will definitely work.

Hope raised its head in my soul, I put an empty box with the inscription “Xenical” that Ninka had given me into my purse, and decided to go to the doctor tomorrow.

But the next day I was told about the dismissal, and other thoughts settled in my head, it was not up to the figure. Since then, I have been living in constant stress, trying to get a decent job. One thing is good, the hands of the scales always fluctuated around the number 90, deviating back and forth by a maximum of a kilogram. And now I have lost ten kilos! And in just a few days! I wonder why? Maybe it's because I haven't eaten much recent times? Two meat pies, swallowed yesterday, and morning coffee without sugar do not count.

In complete amazement at the metamorphosis that had taken place, I got into the shower, washed my hair, then dried my hair with a hairdryer, pulled on a new dress and appeared to Gree.

The owner was not alone in the room; an unfamiliar man was sitting in an armchair.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you," I snapped, backing away.

Grey gave me a tenacious look and said:

- Meet Fedya, this is Tanya, Tanya, this is Fedya.

The stranger, rather young, no more than thirty-five, was fat and looked like a bear.

“Very nice,” he said.

I nodded and bit my bottom lip, suddenly laughing. However, this uncle and I are a great couple, two elephants in a china shop.

- All right, Gri, - Fyodor grunted, - thank you, today this Samsonov will be arrested.

“You see,” Grandfather exclaimed, “and there is some use from me!”

“You know my position,” Fyodor began, then stopped and fell silent.

His large brown eyes began to unceremoniously probe my figure.

- What are you standing for? Grey turned to me.

“I’m waiting for instructions,” I answered cheerfully.

“Go get some rest,” the owner muttered.

* * *

The following excerpt from the book Old Christy is resting! (Daria Dontsova, 2005) provided by our book partner -

Old Christy is resting! Life sometimes comes up with such detective stories that even the coolest writers feel weak! A waterfall of misfortunes suddenly fell on the head of Tatyana Sergeeva. Her husband suddenly died, she was left without a job, her apartment burned down, and the last hundred rubles are in her purse. It would seem that nowhere is worse! What to do poor notorious bbw? Out of desperation, she is hired as an assistant to a private detective by a nimble old man named Gree. Having stoically endured several attempts on her life and health, Tatyana understands that the black streak is over, and the old man is still hoo-hoo!!!

Darya Dontsova

OLD WOMAN CHRISTIE - RESTING!

Chapter 1

When you do not expect anything good from life, the bad does not make you wait. Lately, I've been terribly, just catastrophically, unlucky. The firm in which I worked successfully for half a year as a “bring-give” was covered with a copper basin. Employees were put out on the street, advising them to apply to the labor exchange. I dutifully went there and ran into a nasty aunt who, pursing her lips, said:

- You'd better retrain.

- On whom? – I was taken aback. What's wrong with my specialty? Teacher of Russian language and literature.

“It’s good for everyone, except for one,” the employee snorted, “philologists are like uncut dogs.” And besides, you don't want to go to school, do you?

“No,” I said quickly, “not at all.

“I can send you to a baker’s course,” the woman concluded gloomily.

“You are crazy,” I protested, but then, just in case, I added:

- I'm allergic to flour.

“Understood,” my aunt drawled and began to draw up paperwork for benefits.

And I am the most ordinary woman, neat, polite, able to carry out orders from the authorities, but that's all.

Maybe someone needs just such, but I just had no luck. There is one more small detail: with a height of sixty-five meters, I weigh ninety kilograms, and some employers refused my services as soon as they saw my corpulent figure.

It was especially embarrassing today. I had to go by nine in the morning through the whole city to some godforsaken factory that produced either plastic slippers or aluminum bowls. The personnel officer there turned out to be a woman with a small snake head. I had to enter the office and say:

“Hello, I was told that you need a secretary,” how the “cobra” fluffed out the “hood”:

- Everyone, everything, they have already taken ...

I went out into the corridor and, with grief, went to the toilet, but before I had time to close in the booth, there was a cheerful knock of heels, then a voice:

- Well, Katya, will we find a secretary someday?

- So today one should come, Veronika Nikolaevna, they send from the labor exchange, - another woman answered.

“There was already,” said the headmistress, “a disgusting cow. Probably weighs one hundred and fifty kilograms.

I, of course, immediately boarded her. Imagine such a monster in the waiting room. It's terrible to get so hot, and it looks like she's still young.

Swallowing tears, I waited until the nasty aunts left, left the booth and stood in front of the mirror. It dispassionately reflected a round, apple-like figure.

And I don’t weigh one hundred and fifty kilograms at all, but only ninety, and then, I have beautiful dark, curly hair, big brown eyes, a neat nose and an amazing mouth, and there is a small mole above my upper lip. Misha, my husband, liked her very much.

“No,” I said quickly to myself, “just no memory of my dead husband.

But tears rolled up to my eyes and gushed down my cheeks, I had to wash my face for a long time, then re-paint. Finally, I was able to go out into the corridor, and then something happened that completely unsettled me. Before I had taken two steps, a picturesque group appeared at the other end of the corridor. Ahead was a lady of monstrous thickness, just a barrel of bacon, packed in a pale pink leather suit, diamond earrings sparkled in the stranger’s ears, her fingers studded with rings, she tenaciously held a luxurious bag made of crocodile skin, her shoes were matching her tone. Behind the visitor, bowing respectfully, was the personnel officer, the one with the snake head.

“Ah, ah,” she would say, “dear Olga Sergeevna, what a joy! You look amazing today! You just get better every day!

The fat woman, without answering, sniffling, moved forward, when she caught up with me, I caught the delicate aroma of expensive perfume. As soon as the couple disappeared around the corner, I could not resist and asked the guard:

Who is this hippo?

Security chuckled.

“Be careful with your tongue, Olga Sergeevna, the wife of our master.” The factory belongs to Leonid Mikhailovich Gerasimov, why is there our wretched production, he has half the district in his hands.

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http://www.dontsova.ru/ ,
	Series: "Ironic Detective" Old Christy is resting! Life sometimes comes up with such detective stories that even the coolest writers feel weak! A waterfall of misfortunes suddenly fell on the head of Tatyana Sergeeva. Suddenly her husband died, she was left without work, the apartment burned down, the last hundred rubles are in her purse. It would seem that nowhere is worse! What to do poor notorious bbw? Out of desperation, she is hired as an assistant to a private detective by a nimble old man named Gree. Having stoically endured several attempts on her life and health, Tatyana understands that the black streak is over, and the old man is still hoo-hoo!!! Old Christie - Resting!, Chinese Made Brit Publisher: "Eksmo" (2006) Format: 70x90/32, 416 pages
Citizenship:
Occupation:	writer, journalist, foreign language teacher
Years of creativity:	1999-present
Direction:	ironic detective
Genre:
Art language:
Debut:	"Cool heirs" (1999)

Darya Dontsova(real name Agrippina Arkadevna Dontsova, nee Vasilyeva; , ) - , author of women's "ironic", member. Winner of literary awards.

Biography and career

Born in the family of a Soviet writer. Mother - Tamara Stepanovna Novatskaya, worked as a director. In Daria Dontsova she graduated from the Faculty of Journalism. After the institute, she worked for 2 years in the Soviet consulate with. After returning to Moscow, before she worked in the information department of the newspaper "". In 1983, she changed her surname (to her husband's surname) and went to work in the monthly magazine Fatherland. After the birth of her daughter (in), she took up teaching and French.

Personal life

Daria was married three times. Twice divorced. Married for the third time to the dean. M. V. Lomonosov, full member. Daria has two children: Arkady (born in 1972) from her first marriage and Maria (born in 1986) from her third. Arkady has a son - Nikita (grandson of the writer). Husband Alexander has a son from a previous marriage - Dmitry.

Creation

The main characters are similar to the author. The novels come out in 5 episodes with the main characters. Dasha Vasilyeva- a wealthy woman, lives in the holiday village of Lozhkino with her family and animals, is friends with police colonel Alexander Degtyarev. Has two children - son Arkady and daughter Masha. In the past, Dasha was repeatedly married, worked as a French teacher in Moscow, received a modest salary, lived with her family in a small apartment on the outskirts of Moscow. This character is closest to the author. Daria's main hobby is pets. In the house of her heroine there are many cats and dogs, one of them is Khuchik. The heroine of another series, Evlampia Romanova, in the past - Efrosinya Romanova, a late child and long-awaited daughter of a Soviet general-scientist and opera singer, graduated from the conservatory in the harp class, was married once, changed her name after a divorce and learned to cook deliciously. Lampa opened her own detective agency, where she works as a private detective, and is friends with police major Vladimir Kostin. Received according to the plot: the cat Semiramide and the cat Klaus, two Ada and Mulya, Plush, Fenya, Kapa and two other dogs Rachel and Ramik, hamsters Kesha, Petya, Leonardo and the toad Gertrude. Viola Tarakanova inherited from the writer knowledge German language, the heroine was married to Major Oleg Kuprin, an investigator with, worked as a German tutor, but divorced, writes detectives under the pseudonym Arina Violova. Vilka is not indifferent to animals, the cat Cleopatra, the cat Sonny and the dog Dyushka live in her apartment. Ivan Podushkin- the son of a Soviet writer, worked as a secretary for a private detective, but left a rich mistress and left with a circus. Tatyana Sergeeva has nothing to do with the writer, the dark-haired owner of a full figure, intelligent and well-read, graduated from the philological faculty of a pedagogical university, a widow (in the recent past), worked as a school teacher of Russian language and literature. Married to former actor Aristarkh Babulkin (nicknamed Gri), who is an employee of a secret group in which Tanya also works.

Allegations of plagiarism

In 2008, Dontsova was accused of. The story of Igor Chersky, published in the magazine "Karman" in March 2000, was included in the 19th chapter of Dontsova's book "Toad with a Purse", which was published in 2004. This is the only example that has received much publicity. There are numerous examples of comparisons between excerpts from Dontsova's texts and texts previously published on the Internet. Dontsova is also accused of borrowing recipes and texts for her cookbooks from the book “Bon appetit” published in the 1970s in the USSR by German authors Günter Linde and Heinz Knobloch.

Awards

List of works

Books

Series

"A lover of private detective Dasha Vasilyeva"
Evlampia Romanova. The investigation is conducted by an amateur "
Viola Tarakanova. In the world of criminal passions "
"Gentleman detective Ivan Podushkin"
"Detective on a diet. Tatyana Sergeeva»

Out of series

"The Lazy Cookbook" - publication year 2003
"Notes of a crazy optimist" - year of publication 2003
Notes of a Crazy Optimist. Two years later "- year of publication 2005
"Simple and delicious recipes by Daria Dontsova" - year of publication 2006
Notes of a Crazy Optimist. Three years later "- year of publication 2007
“Cookbook of a lazy person-2. Delicious Journey" - year of publication 2007
“Cookbook of a lazy person-3. Holiday for life "

Scripts for television series

"Private detective lover Dasha Vasilyeva - 2" (together with Victoria Evseeva)
“Private detective lover Dasha Vasilyeva - 3” (together with Victoria Evseeva)
"" (together with Victoria Evseeva)
Evlampia Romanova. The investigation is conducted by an amateur - 2 "(together with Victoria Evseeva, Alisa Michabeli and Irina Gelos)
Viola Tarakanova. In the world of criminal passions ”(together with Irina Pivovarova (film 1) and Ekaterina Shagalova (films 2 and 3))
Viola Tarakanova. In the world of criminal passions - 2 "(together with Irina Pivovarova and Ekaterina Shagalova)
"" (Film 1 - together with Victoria Evseeva; films 2 and 3 - with Anna Anosova and Natalya Pavlovskaya; season 2 - with Alexei Vinokurov and Victoria Evseeva)

List of books

"A lover of private detective Dasha Vasilyeva"

1. Cool heirs 2. For all the hares 3. Lady with claws 4. Dentists cry too 5. This bitter sweet revenge 6. My husband's wife 7. Unclassified materials 8. Control kiss 9. Crocodile pool 10. Tired toys sleep 11. Taking out the case 12. Hobby ugly duckling 13. Auntie's House of Lies 14. Ghost in Sneakers 15. .45 Smile 16. March Cat Benefits 17. Fly Over Turkey's Nest 18. Goldfish Ear 19. Toad with Purse 20. Harpy with Propeller 21. King Pea Dollars 22 Fireplace for the Snow Maiden 23. Extreme on a gray wolf 24. Stylist for a snowman 25. Forbidden fruit compote 26. Sky in rubles 27. Dossier on Little Che 28. Romeo from the high road 29. The Frog of the Baskervilles 30. Personal file of a catwoman 31. Subway to Africa 32. Face control for the main role. 33. The third eye is a diamond. 34. The legend of the three monkeys. 35. The dark past of the Little Humpbacked Horse. 36. Checkered zebra 37. White horse on prince 38. Egyptian mummy's mistress

Evlampia Romanova. The investigation is conducted by an amateur "

1. Manicure for the dead man 2. Poker with a shark 3. Beloved bastard 4. Viper in syrup 5. Lunch at the cannibal 6. Constellation of greedy dogs 7. Can-can at the wake 8. Forecast of nasty things for tomorrow 9. Walking under a fly 10. Fig leaf from haute couture 11. Kamasutra for Mickey Mouse 12. Quasimodo on stilettos 13. No-shpa for three 14. Blue pug of happiness 15. Princess on Kirieshki 16. The lamp is looking for Aladdin 17. Love-carrot and the third extra 18. Monomakh's crazy cap 19. A figure of light outrageousness 20. Boutique of iron fists 21. Cinderella in chocolate 22. Gentle husband of the oligarch 23. Milos plywood 24. Feng shui without brakes 25. Shopping in the castle in the air 26. Centaur marriage contract 27. Emperor of the village of Gadyukino 28. Butterfly in plaster

Viola Tarakanova. In the world of criminal passions "

1. Devil from a snuffbox 2. Three bags of tricks 3. A monster without a beauty 4. Harvest of poisonous berries 5. Miracles in a saucepan 6. Skeleton from a test tube 7. Potion for strabismus 8. Fillet from the Golden Cockerel 9. Chief accountant and half the kingdom to boot 10. Concerto for kolobok with orchestra 11. Hocus-pocus by Vasilisa the Terrible 12. Papa Carlo's favorite pastimes 13. A fly on a plane 14. Cupcake in big city 15. Helicopter carpet ticket 16. Monsters from a good family 17. Holidays in Prostofilino 18. Winter spring summer 19. Happy ending for Desdemona 20. Firebird striptease 21. Scuba diving Mumu 22. Snowman's hot love 23. Man- invisibility in rhinestones 24. Flying impostor 25. Fairy with golden teeth

"Gentleman detective Ivan Podushkin"

1. Bouquet of beautiful ladies 2. Diamond of muddy water 3. Instinct of Baba Yaga 4. 13 misfortunes of Hercules 5. Ali Baba and the forty robbers 6. Inflatable woman for Casanova 7. Jerboa in curlers 8. A fish named Bunny 9. Two brides 10. Turtle Safari 11. Monte Cristo Apple 12. Treasure Island Picnic 13. Alien Dream Macho 14. Riding the Titanic 15. Angel on a Broomstick 16. Goat Face Producer

"Tatyana Sergeeva. Detective on a Diet

0. British made in China. People's Detective (the story was written by Dontsova together with readers) 1. Old Christie - Resting! 2. Diet for three piglets 3. Yin, yang and all sorts of rubbish 4. Microbe without complexes 5. Piglet's ideal body 6. Grandfather Snegur and Frost 7. Golden Rule three-poods 8. Agent 013

stories

Ballerina in shoe covers
Squirrel from the land of talkers
Squirrel with clock
Chatty pink bear
money cake
Cognac for an angel
My unknown friend
Bluebeard's unequal marriage
Nobody from nowhere
Heaven's Gift
Fake tiger teeth
Eskimo from Mars
money key
A true Christmas story
Truth in three boxes

Darya Dontsova

Old Christy is resting!

- You'd better retrain.

- On whom? – I was taken aback. What's wrong with my specialty? Teacher of Russian language and literature.

“It’s good for everyone, except for one,” the employee snorted, “philologists are like uncut dogs.” And besides, you don't want to go to school, do you?

“No,” I said quickly, “not at all.

“I can send you to a baker’s course,” the woman concluded gloomily.

“You're crazy,” I protested, but then, just in case, added: “I'm allergic to flour.

“Understood,” my aunt drawled and began to draw up paperwork for benefits.

Since then, many days have passed, a small amount of handouts decreased from month to month and eventually became zero. True, the exchange gave directions, but every time I came to the personnel department, it turned out that the place was occupied, or a person was required who spoke perfect English, or a super employee was needed who deftly managed simultaneously with a computer, fax, telephone and knew how to drive a car. And I am the most ordinary woman, neat, polite, able to carry out orders from the authorities, but that's all. Maybe someone needs just such, but I just had no luck. There is one more small detail: with a height of sixty-five meters, I weigh ninety kilograms, and some employers refused my services as soon as they saw my corpulent figure.

“Hello, I was told that you need a secretary,” how the “cobra” fluffed out the “hood”:

- Everyone, everything, they have already taken ...

I went out into the corridor and, with grief, went to the toilet, but before I had time to close in the booth, there was a cheerful knock of heels, then a voice:

- Well, Katya, will we find a secretary someday?

- So today one should come, Veronika Nikolaevna, they send from the labor exchange, - another woman answered.

“There was already,” said the headmistress, “a disgusting cow. Probably weighs one hundred and fifty kilograms. I, of course, immediately boarded her. Imagine such a monster in the waiting room. It's terrible to get so hot, and it looks like she's still young.

Swallowing tears, I waited until the nasty aunts left, left the booth and stood in front of the mirror. It dispassionately reflected a round, apple-like figure. And I don’t weigh one hundred and fifty kilograms at all, but only ninety, and then, I have beautiful dark, curly hair, big brown eyes, a neat nose and an amazing mouth, and there is a small mole above my upper lip. Misha, my husband, liked her very much.

“No,” I said quickly to myself, “just no memory of my dead husband.

“Ah, ah,” she would say, “dear Olga Sergeevna, what a joy! You look amazing today! You just get better every day!

Who is this hippo?

Security chuckled.

I went to the exit, my heart was disgusting. That's how it is! A woman's best makeup is her fat wallet. Olga Sergeevna looked like a living mausoleum, but nevertheless everyone liked it ...

I was unable to contain the fit of despair, and tears again flowed down my cheeks.

I was always chubby, five kilograms “floating” back and forth did not make the weather. From childhood, I was teased by “zhirtrest”, “promsardelka”, “pig processing plant”, and good friends also assured me that it was simply impossible for a girl with a magnificent figure to marry. This is probably why I went to brides for a long time, not particularly hoping to be under the crown. But then the Lord sent Misha to me, and for two whole years I was incredibly happy, until my husband died of some incomprehensible illness, the doctors were still unable to establish what kind of infection had exhausted Misha, and in the end declared him a cancer patient, began to intensively treat, but ... did not save. Etty, my mother-in-law, and I were alone. The one who never teased me and always praised me was Etty, perhaps she is my only friend, she helps not only morally, but also financially. I never heard Etty say things like, "Here's a new diet, would you like to try it?" - and after her departure, there is always a round sum in my wallet.

Believe me, I'm ashamed to take money from Etty, but as long as there is no other way out, I just can't find a job, today I "flew" again.

Breathing heavily, I made my way to the exit, went outside and almost suffocated from the heat. It seems that the weather has completely gone mad, the beginning of May is on the calendar, and a stuffy haze is floating over the city. Sweat ran down my back, due to some features of the figure, I can’t put on a sarafan with thin straps, I have to carry a closed jacket. And here's the paradox, the hotter it is outside, the more you want to eat, maybe go to the stall that stands on the opposite side of the road and buy shawarma? But there are only a hundred rubles in your pocket, you need to save them! My mouth filled with saliva, my stomach began to ache ... With a decisive step, I moved across the roadway, to hell with it, with frugality, well, the whole bill will lie until tomorrow, so what? Will it double its value? Not at all, a hundred rubles will not turn into two hundred. I’d rather eat shawarma, sit on a bench over there, and then I’ll calmly think ...

The piercing squeal of brakes made me flinch, I turned around. Almost hitting me with a sparkling wing, a luxurious foreign car swept past, I don’t know much about models, for me all cars look the same, or rather, one hood.

Grunting angrily, the car disappeared around the corner, the view of the road opened before my eyes again, and I yelled:

- God! You are alive?

A little further on the dusty pavement lay on his back a man. I rushed to the downed man.

- Call a doctor? Police?

The victim of the collision slowly sat up, and I realized that the uncle was many years old, gray hair was bristling on his head, an almost white beard and mustache covered the lower part of his face, there were continuous wrinkles around the eyes and on the forehead, the skin was dotted with age spots. Grandfather is seventy years old, if not more.

“Don’t worry,” he ordered in a pleasant, not at all rattling voice, “why are you squealing?

But you were hit by a car?

- No, I just fell, - the old man grunted, - it's very hot, the pressure jumped, my head was spinning, well, it shook me to the side. If you want to help, give me a stick.

- Where is she?

- It's lying around.

I brought a cane to my grandfather, he leaned on it and stood up briskly. The height of the victim turned out to be with me, but the weight in it was much less. A wiry, lean old man, probably takes care of himself, maybe even goes to the gym.

- Well, what are you staring at? he asked angrily. - Not a circus, go where you went.

“Nowhere,” I suddenly blurted out.

- Well, all right, - Grandpa snapped, - goodbye, there’s nothing to stare at me, fell down, eka unseen.

I suddenly felt so hurt that I can't put it into words. Why are people so unfriendly? Is it because of my weight? They refused at the enterprise, without even providing a trial period, and the grandfather, whom I rushed to help, was rude to me from the bottom of my heart. Suddenly, tears were running down her cheeks again. Angry at myself, I abruptly turned around and was about to continue on my way, but suddenly I got sick of eating, a feeling of resentment for the whole world beat off my hunger.

“Hey, Thumbelina, wait,” shouted the grandfather.

I turned around.

- You me?

- Yes, let's go, I'll treat you to coffee, over there, on the veranda.

“Thanks, I don’t want to,” I answered with dignity and tried to cope with the somehow increased flow of tears.