Causes and signs of nervousness. Why are we nervous? Why it is wrong and harmful to be nervous Nervous disorder: what is it

Any manifestation of external and inner world finds a response in a person in the form of emotions. From what they are emotions, negative or positive Whether we are strong or not, our health directly depends. This article is about the signs of nervousness and its causes. .

People at any age experience mental stress.

If a child can laugh with tears in his eyes, and a teenager forgets about unhappy love after 3-4 days, then an adult worries about any reason, and scrolls through unpleasant thoughts in his memory for a long time, cherishing them inside himself, thereby driving his psyche into a state of stress.

This is explained by the fact that with age, immune defense decreases, hormonal levels change and a person becomes more and more prone to a negative perception of reality.

And reasons to be nervous modern world enough - excessive haste, daily stress at home and at work, stressful work, social vulnerability, etc.

By the way, constant nervousness is one of the reasons for the strange night eating syndrome, in which people wake up at night from hunger and are unable to fall asleep without a snack.

Why are we nervous?

Objective reasons

The human condition has changed as a biological species. At the beginning of evolution, man led a natural lifestyle: the level of physical activity and the neuropsychic stress necessary for survival corresponded to each other.

The habitat was ecologically clean, and if it became unsuitable, the community of people changed it to another without trying to change it.

The information environment has changed. Every decade the amount of information accumulated before doubles. Scientific and technological progress has a colossal impact on the brain: the speed at which information is received does not correspond to the biological capabilities of its assimilation, which is aggravated by a lack of time.

Children at school, especially diligent ones, experience information overload: the mental state of a first-grader when writing tests and the state of an astronaut at the moment of take-off of the spacecraft are comparable.

Many professions also create information loads: an air traffic controller, for example, must simultaneously control up to two dozen aircraft, and a teacher must pay enough attention to dozens of students.

How to use products to improve brain function, prevent brain atrophy and dementia (dementia, Alzheimer's).

Urban population growth increased the density of human contacts and the degree of tension between people. The number of unpleasant and unavoidable relationships has increased in public transport, in queues, in stores.

At the same time, beneficial contacts (for example, family contacts) have decreased and take only about 30 minutes per day.

Increased noise level, especially in cities, exceeds natural norms and has a negative impact on our psyche and the body as a whole: blood pressure and respiratory rate changes, sleep and dream patterns are disturbed, and other unfavorable symptoms.

We are exposed to noise almost constantly, sometimes without noticing it (TV, radio).

Bad ecology also has an indirect effect on the brain and psyche. High levels of carbon monoxide in the air we breathe reduce gas exchange in the brain and its performance. Sulfur and nitrogen oxides disrupt brain metabolism.

Radioactive contamination occupies a special place in the deterioration of mental functioning: our nervous system suffers greatly from its high level. The psychological impact of this factor aggravates the harmful effect, generating fear.

Scientific and technological revolution improved the material conditions of human habitation, but at the same time significantly reduced its margin of safety. A decrease in physical activity has led to disruption of the biological mechanisms of the human body.

Subjective reasons

Strong emotions are usually a defensive reaction to manifestations of the outside world. We get nervous if we are not confident in ourselves, in our present, we experience fear of the future, dissatisfaction with ourselves and others.

Any living organism, in the presence of a threat, responds with compression (muscle tension) - to become invisible, to hide so that the “predator” does not notice or eat.

In the modern world, this “predator” has been transformed into different images of the social and public environment: level of well-being, relationships with superiors, fear of responsibility, fear of criticism and condemnation, small pension, impending poor old age, etc.

These social “predators” scare us, we want to hide and not think about them, but our thoughts always return to unpleasant things willingly and spontaneously. From here it arises again and again nervous tension, which means the body instinctively contracts.

What happens to the body during nervous tension

Strong and prolonged emotions plunge the body into a state of stress: muscle tone increases, heart rate accelerates, digestion slows down, the stress hormone cortisol and the action and anxiety hormone adrenaline are released into the blood.

All internal resources are mobilized to overcome danger, the body is ready for quick action.

This defensive reaction is ancient form response, genetically determined and necessary for the survival of humans as a biological species. It involves physical activity, the body must work off “adrenaline”. And that is why physical activity helps with nervous tension.

Thus,

Nervous tension is always accompanied by unconscious muscle tension .

With constant nervousness and a sedentary lifestyle, muscle tone becomes chronic. A person seems to be encased in a muscular shell; movement within it requires enormous energy expenditure. Therefore, fatigue faithful companion nervous conditions.

Due to constant muscle tension, performance decreases, irritability appears, and the functions of the digestive, cardiovascular and other systems and organs are disrupted.

Signs of nervous tension. How to help yourself

Nagging pain in the back, lower back, neck, shoulder girdle. With any nervous overload, the tension of the skeletal muscles increases, while the muscles of the neck, shoulder blades and biceps bear increased load.

Bring your index finger and thumb together and clasp them tightly on both hands.

Do stretching exercises for the whole body and different muscle groups.

Massage your ankles, moving up to your thighs. Do the same for your arms, moving up from your hands to your shoulders.

Sleep disturbance. It is well known that the best and safest medicine for nervousness is sleep. However, if you go to bed with a load of problems, then your brain continues to solve them in your sleep, which does not allow you to fully rest.

There is no interest in love pleasures.

The subconscious of a person in a difficult life situation establishes a ban on receiving pleasure from life. So that he doesn’t get scattered and throws all his energy into solving problems.

This results in a contradiction:

a person in this state, on the contrary, needs positive emotions, namely the pleasure hormones endorphins produced during lovemaking, because these hormones protect the body from stress and minimize its harmful effects.

Refusal to engage in a favorite hobby.

All efforts are aimed at eliminating the cause of nervous tension (finishing a project, finishing an article, preparing a report, etc.), but there is simply not enough time or energy for the rest of life. The whole body is like a string, all thoughts are about one thing. This attitude towards the problem aggravates mental and physical discomfort.

Make it a rule to give yourself the opportunity to rest. Let your day off be a real break from all your problems. This will provide the necessary energy to solve troubling problems.

Repetitive actions:

tapping fingers, swinging legs, walking back and forth. This is a natural reaction of a person to emotional stress, this is how he tries to restore balance and calm down.

Help yourself with similar repetitive actions: you can walk up and down the stairs, touch your rosary, knit.

Even chewing gum has a good effect; chewing movements activate cerebral circulation, which increases resistance to stressful situations.

When you are ready to “explode” emotionally, sometimes even for minor reasons, this indicates that you in general, regardless of specific people, situations, events, are too filled from within with negative or strong emotions. Events have happened/are happening to you that are very difficult for you to cope with; perhaps you are anxiously awaiting them. This tension accumulates for a certain period, and then an acceptable limit comes when it is no longer possible to endure. Within your awareness there are many mental barriers, prohibitions, and stereotypes that interfere with normal adaptation processes. This is a result of the way your system operates. nervous system, but also in many ways, good manners, restraint, and now almost any situation can probably become the triggering moment for an emotional-negative outburst. Accumulated emotions must be realized; they cannot be kept inside. Your body is struggling with the load, your brain (a unique structure that reacts to everything that happens to the body and nerves) does not allow you to receive even more information, it simply protects itself and you from overload, dumping the excess anywhere. I think you will be interested to know that aggression is an inherent property of every person, like internal energy. This is also a way of self-defense, a form of response internal conflict, tension, stress, physical and mental discomfort. This is also behavior aimed at destruction and harm, including to oneself. You probably know something about its negative sides, at least from your own experience. But there is nothing unambiguous, absolutely good or bad in anything - neither in phenomena, nor in events, nor in people, the coin always has 2 sides. Aggression also has its own positive side: it allows you to defend yourself, your opinion, and sometimes your life. However, its excessive quantity indicates the presence of problems in the organization of your entire life as a whole. Think about your health: physical and mental health are closely related, interdependent, interpenetrated. Everything that happens to our body and psyche is interdependent and is a reflection of our thoughts, experiences, emotions, desires and prohibitions to experience them, the degree of satisfaction of needs. You just need to simply listen to your body, it is an amazing self-regulating system. Yours chose exactly this method to show that some problem has not been solved, everything is just accumulating, you are not resting properly (not only physically), you probably are not observing any optimal sleep and wakefulness regime, you are not getting enough pleasure, in general, behave with him in Lately It’s not right to attract your attention and respect for it (the body), to feel sorry for it. So try to analyze your life, all its areas and find the problem due to which your body is resisting: what is bothering you, what is happening right now or happened some time ago that triggered such a protective mechanism of your psyche that it interferes with your happy outlook. If you can’t cope on your own, please contact me, I’m always happy to help you understand yourself, understand yourself, the situation, and find a way out. You need to improve your emotional sphere: emotions, like a snowball, take over the whole life around you: you will experience positive or negative ones - both will color life in appropriate tones, the choice is yours. It’s normal to experience any emotions, but you need to find acceptable ways to relieve aggression, direct this energy in a constructive direction, this is the main “key” for you now, first of all. Ways to independent decision , self-regulation: the elementary and simplest include physical exercises and breathing techniques. Another way is to write on a piece of paper everything that you don’t like, that makes you angry, upsets, worries, in terms of the past, as well as everything in the present - relationships, the current situation, work, a person, yourself and tear this piece of paper, destroy it with another active emotional way, this way you will also get rid of the very image of the problem, plus throw off the negativity. You can scream, break anything you don’t mind, hit a pillow, a punching bag in the gym, or get rid of surging emotions in another moderately destructive way (just be careful so that others don’t get it). You just need to do all this systematically, with faith, systematically, then the result will come. Think about it. Regardless of what happens, all problems are actually only within us: we create them ourselves, believe them, and then heroically overcome them. The source of everything that happens to us, as well as the strength to help ourselves, is always within us. Think about your lifestyle. You are clearly missing a positive start right now. You don’t allow yourself much, thereby depriving yourself of positive emotions. There is little joy from the phenomena of the surrounding world, pleasant surprise, a feeling of delight from events, satisfaction from one’s physical, intellectual, and professional capabilities. Start improving yourself and creating everything around you the way you want, you have every right to do so. You don’t owe anyone anything, you don’t have to feel unhappy to please someone. Believe in yourself, you deserve all the best, to be happy, loved, without doing anything special for it, without deserving it, you can do everything yourself and achieve what you want, you are good, and if someone tries to prove you otherwise, to offend you, know that that these are only deep internal problems of this person himself, do not let him doubt his own worth for a moment. Maintain your personal integrity, do not allow your feeling of happiness and fullness of life to depend on the presence/absence of another person, his opinion, behavior. Only those who are filled with positivity from within (what are you, your life filled with?), have an activity in life that consistently pleases and brings pleasure can only avoid overreacting emotionally - find something like that, create an internal “island of happiness” that does not depend on anyone. Relax and rest, if there is no suitable uninhabited island nearby, then preferably at least in nature, in the forest, away from people, phones, computers and other means of communication, so that at this time there is no gross interference from the outside into your nervous system. Try to find harmony with yourself, understand, feel, realize and accept completely. Believe me, everything will fall into place as soon as you begin to treat yourself with care and respect. Each person chooses for himself whether to be happy or unhappy - allow yourself to be whatever you want. Everything will definitely be fine for you. Write to the chat if my point of view seems rational to you, I will be happy to help you understand yourself and the situation, find solutions, it’s time for you to do this, a lot has accumulated. Good luck, love and harmony with yourself. I will be grateful for your assessment of the answer.

Good afternoon. I was interested in your answer “When you are ready to emotionally “explode”, sometimes even for minor reasons, this indicates that...” to the question http://www.. Can I discuss this answer with you?

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Most failures in life are most often due to the fact that a person worried unnecessarily and thereby deprived himself of the opportunity to see and do what was important to him. And the reason for this is the mental characteristics of each individual person. After all, one person in any situation can pull himself together and not react so violently at all, while the other is almost hysterical. By finding out why people often get nervous over trifles, you can stop yourself in time and save your health and even life.

Understanding why people are nervous

A person's life is filled with a variety of events. Some make you happy, others make you sad, others destroy the established world, which has to be rebuilt or radically changed. There are no those who would not react in any way to what is happening; emotions are an integral part of a person. They perform important role: warning, protecting or stopping. But the strength of their manifestation depends on what kind of psyche someone has. When something unpleasant happens or something that a person has not encountered before, he begins to get nervous. True, this is not always necessary and beneficial. Because too much nervous tension can cause many problems.

But the whole life is structured in such a way that it is becoming more and more difficult every day to avoid the reasons that provoke internal tension. The past years leave behind memories of both good and bad events, some of them brought joy, while others left scars on the soul and fear. And more often than not, we subconsciously remember more about those who caused pain rather than joy. And this becomes the reason that with age a person turns into an increasingly tense person, who is more likely to expect bad things than good things and tries with all his might to protect himself from this.

And the surrounding reality is depressing, especially if you listen to the problems of others or watch the news. Negative experiences, failures, problems in self-realization and personal life, constant haste, the imposition that only those who earn a lot and work day and night can be successful - all this creates tension, which over time results in anxiety and, as a result, becomes the cause of chronic irritation.

Any event that does not fit into our picture of the world makes us nervous. Because it disrupts the course of events, the comfort zone that we tried to create in order to live more or less calmly. And since no one is immune from various accidents, and the behavior of others is quite difficult to predict, it turns out that with age people become more and more nervous and worried. Some problems give way to others, years pass, something ceases to be unattainable, but this does not inspire self-confidence, because these goals are always replaced by others.

It is also difficult to remain unperturbed because the human psyche has remained virtually unchanged over the past millennia. The process of assimilation of information remained almost the same as when we didn’t even travel on horses, but walked, but the world around us became completely different: too unpredictable and fast.

The colossal events that took place changed environment and it is necessary to constantly respond to this, which is why people are nervous, because they are not mentally ready to immediately process so much information, meet the imposed requirements, the level of knowledge and performance that employers, parents, legislators and many other people would like to see today, and the man himself. After all, in order to achieve success, we are told like a mantra that we need to work hard, study hard, get up early and go ahead.

But people are all built differently, and not everyone can bear such pressure painlessly. In principle, there is almost no one who would argue otherwise. A person can remain calm and achieve success, in the form in which he understands it, only in the only case when he does what he likes and is not in a hurry. You can't be happy, passing life by in order to achieve what is an ideal for others, but not an ideal for him.

When you can’t live in harmony with yourself and the world around you, accepting yourself and it as you are, anxiety, stress, neuroses, asthenia, depression and many other dangerous conditions and diseases that need to be removed and treated with the help of specialists appear on the scene. . Therefore, it is so important to independently find this harmony with yourself, otherwise your whole life will pass under the slogan “Fight with yourself.”

How to stop being nervous

To cope with excessive nervousness, you need to accept the fact that it does not help you get desired result, but on the contrary reduces the chances of this. Instead of being at your best during a job interview, first date, first day of work, taking exams and any other events that are important to you, you become tense, awkward and unable to use your full potential at 100%.

It doesn't hurt to work on what causes tension and stress. Why are you so worried about this or that, what fears provoke this? There may be a fear of being rejected because you don’t have a high enough opinion of yourself or you think you’re unworthy of love. Find the reasons that provoke nervousness. Having realized what fear makes you worry about an upcoming event, imagine what such a terrible thing could happen if something that frightens you so much happens. The person you like will reject you, so what?! Is life really over here, and there is no one around who will be a hundred times better than him. Or you won’t be hired for this job, but who said that tomorrow you won’t have a job that will become the most beloved and interesting. And if suddenly at alumni meetings you don’t look as respectable as one of them, the earth will stop or it will somehow affect your life in a really negative way. In the end, if you set a goal and take a close look at the lives of successful people, you can see so much negativity that it’s time to envy yourself that everything is not so bad for you.

A high level of anxiety is also provoked by certain work, which forces you to experience high stress and find yourself in stressful situations too often. The body is simply forced to be nervous about what is happening. This includes any work with people, the position of a dispatcher, service in the army and law enforcement agencies, work where a person is responsible for others and their life and health depend on him. Therefore, such work is usually hired after passing certain professional tests, which should show whether a person has high stress resistance, whether he is ready for such stress and whether he will not get confused in difficult situations.
Factors such as constant noise, a large number of people in cities, rush also become the reasons why people get nervous. Living in the countryside, or at least where there are parks and green areas, promotes relaxation, even in urban environments.

If this is not possible, be sure to find time to play sports. Physical activity helps strengthen the nervous system. Sports in moderate but constant quantities can relieve tension and teach the body to react less to various irritating factors.
Not everything is so sad for those who are confident in themselves. In most situations, they are able to avoid any excitement. They don’t think that by the age of 40 they need to become this and that, have this and that, otherwise they will be failures. They do what they like. They enjoy it, they are satisfied with life and everything they do. Therefore, they perceive any events as something to which sometimes they need to react, and sometimes not, and not as a reason to get nervous once again.

No matter how old you are, it is worth remembering that sometimes there is something to learn from children. Of course, adults have much greater capabilities. They know more, they can do it. But they should learn one quality from children, remembering that they were once like that: the ability to quickly switch to other events in their lives, leaving unpleasant memories and traumatic events in the past. This is what allows adults to be much calmer and maintain health for many years. Constantly being nervous, they do not solve the problems that provoked this condition, but only destroy their health, creating unnecessary stress, and complicating the situation even more.

In this article I will talk about how to stop being nervous. I will explain how to remain calm and cool in any life situation without the help of sedatives, alcohol and other things. I will talk not only about how to suppress states of nervousness and calm down, but I will also explain how you can stop being nervous in general, bring the body into a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general, how to calm your mind and how to strengthen the nervous system.

The article will be structured in the form of sequential lessons and it is better to read them in order.

When do we get nervous?

Nervousness and jitters are that feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and activities, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and you’re just worried about all sorts of little things. It is important to understand that nervousness has how psychological so and physiological reasons and manifests itself accordingly. Physiologically, this is connected with the properties of our nervous system, and psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to worry, overestimation of the significance of certain events, a feeling of self-doubt and what is happening, shyness, worry about the result.

We begin to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our lives, or for one reason or another significant or responsible. I think that a threat to life does not often loom before us, ordinary people. Therefore, I consider situations of the second type to be the main reason for nervousness in everyday life. Fear of failure, of looking inappropriate in front of people- all this makes us nervous. In relation to these fears, there is a certain psychological attunement; this has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let’s start with understanding the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. Necessary defense mechanism or hindrance?

Our palms begin to sweat, we may experience tremors, increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, confusion in our thoughts, it is difficult to gather ourselves, concentrate, it is difficult to sit still, we want to occupy our hands with something, smoke. These are the symptoms of nervousness. Now ask yourself, how much do they help you? Do they help cope with stressful situations? Are you better at negotiating, taking an exam, or communicating on a first date when you're on edge? The answer is, of course not, and what’s more, it can ruin the whole result.

Therefore, it is necessary to firmly understand that the tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction of the body to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. Rather, it is simply a certain mental mechanism embedded in a system of habits and/or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the impact of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why eliminate this? Because when you're nervous:

Your thinking ability decreases and you have a harder time concentrating, which can make things worse and require your mental resources to be stretched to the limit.
You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, and gestures, which can have a bad effect on important negotiations or a date.
Nervousness causes fatigue and tension to accumulate more quickly, which is bad for your health and well-being.
If you are often nervous, this can lead to various diseases (however, a very significant part of diseases stem from problems of the nervous system)
You worry about little things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable things in your life.
You are prone to bad habits: alcohol, because you need to relieve stress with something

Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand psychological pressure, lost control and were deprived. So we will work with you on this.

Here is the first lesson, during which we learned that:

Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only hinders
You can get rid of it by working on yourself
IN Everyday life there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely threatened by anything, we mostly worry about trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article and tell you why this is so.

You should configure yourself like this:

I have no reason to be nervous, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and this is real!

Don’t think that I’m just talking about something that I myself have no idea about. Throughout my childhood, and then my youth, until I was 24 years old, I experienced big pain. I couldn’t pull myself together in stressful situations, I worried about every little thing, I even almost fainted because of my sensitivity! This had a negative impact on health: pressure surges, “panic attacks,” dizziness, etc. began to be observed. Now all this is in the past.

Of course, I can’t say now that I have the best self-control in the world, but all the same, I stopped being nervous in those situations that make most people nervous, I became much calmer, compared to my previous state, I reached a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course, I still have a lot to work on, but I’m on the right path and there is dynamics and progress, I know what to do.

In general, everything I’m talking about here is based solely on my experience of self-development, I’m not making anything up and I’m only talking about what helped me. So if I had not been such a painful, vulnerable and sensitive young man and, then, as a result of personal problems, I had not begun to remake myself - all this experience and the site that summarizes and structures it would not exist.

By the way subscribe to my Instagram follow the link below. Regular useful posts about self-development, meditation, psychology and relieving anxiety and panic attacks.

Lesson 2. How to stop being nervous about anything?

Think about all those events that make you nervous: your boss calls you, you take an exam, you expect an unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, evaluate the degree of their importance for you, but not in isolation, but within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the significance of an altercation on public transport or on the road on a life-long scale, and is it really such a terrible thing to be late for work and be nervous about it?

Is this something to think about and worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, take a break from the current moment. I am sure that from this perspective, many things that you are nervous about will immediately lose their significance in your eyes, will turn into mere trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries.

This psychological setting helps a lot stop being nervous about anything. But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of reason, can react in its own way. Therefore, let's move on and I will explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation immediately before any event, during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before an important event.

Now some important event is inexorably approaching us, during which our intelligence, composure and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will generously reward us, otherwise we will lose. This event could be a final interview for the job you dream of, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this must be done so that this condition does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and achieving it.

And you realize that an important event awaits you ahead, but no matter how significant it is, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your whole life for you: there is no need to dramatize and overestimate everything. It is precisely from the very importance of this event that the need to be calm and not worry arises. This is too important an event to let nervousness ruin it, so I will be collected and focused and will do everything for this!

Now we bring our thoughts to calm, relieve the jitters. First, immediately throw all thoughts of failure out of your head. In general, try to calm down the fuss and not think about anything. Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale and inhale deeply. The simplest breathing exercises will help you relax.

Simple breathing exercises.

It should be done like this:

inhale for 4 counts (or 4 pulse beats, you need to feel it first, it’s more convenient to do this on the neck, not on the wrist)
keep the air in for 2 counts/hits
exhale for 4 counts/beats
do not breathe for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats - all from the beginning

In short, as the doctor says: breathe - don’t breathe. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that your breathing allows you to take deeper inhalations/exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

You just need to breathe with your diaphragm, that is, with your stomach! During times of stress, we breathe rapidly from the chest, while diaphragmatic breathing calms the heartbeat, suppressing the physiological signs of nervousness, bringing you into a state of calm.

During the exercise, keep your attention only on your breathing! There should be no more thoughts! It is most important. And then after 3 minutes you will feel relaxed and calm. The exercise is done for no more than 5-7 minutes, according to how it feels. With regular practice, breathing practice not only helps you relax here and now, but also in general puts the nervous system in order and you are less nervous without any exercise. So I highly recommend it.

You can see my video on how to do diaphragmatic breathing correctly at the end of this article. In this video I talk about how to cope with panic using breathing. But this method will also allow you to get rid of nervousness, calm down and pull yourself together.

Other relaxation techniques are presented in my article.

Okay, so we are prepared. But the time for the event itself has already arrived. Next I will talk about how to behave during the event so as not to be nervous and to be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4. How to avoid nervousness during an important meeting.

Pretend to be calm: even if neither your emotional mood nor breathing exercises helped you relieve tension, then at least try with all your might to demonstrate external calm and equanimity. And this is necessary not only to mislead your opponents about your state on this moment. Expressing outer peace helps to achieve inner peace. This works on the principle feedback, not only your well-being determines your facial expressions, but also your facial expressions determine your well-being. This principle is easy to test: when you smile at someone, you feel better and more cheerful, even if you were in a bad mood before. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my invention, it is really a fact, it is even written about in Wikipedia in the article “emotions”. So the calmer you want to appear, the more relaxed you actually become.

Watch your facial expressions, gestures and intonation: The feedback principle obliges you to constantly look inside yourself and be aware of how you look from the outside. Do you seem too stressed? Are your eyes shifting? Are the movements smooth and measured or abrupt and impulsive? Does your face express cold impenetrability or can all your excitement be read on it? In accordance with the information about yourself received from your senses, you adjust all your body movements, voice, and facial expression. The fact that you have to take care of yourself in itself helps you get together and concentrate. And it’s not just that with the help of internal observation you control yourself. By observing yourself, you focus your thoughts on one point - on yourself, and do not let them get confused and lead you in the wrong direction. This is how concentration and calm are achieved.

Eliminate all markers of nervousness: What do you usually do when you're nervous? Are you fiddling with a ballpoint pen? Are you chewing on a pencil? Are you tying your left big toe and little toe into a knot? Now forget about it, keep your hands straight and don’t change their positions often. We don’t fidget in our chair, we don’t shift from foot to foot. We continue to look after ourselves.

Take your time: rush and bustle always sets a special nervous tone. Therefore, take your time even if you are late for a meeting. Since any rush very quickly disrupts composure and a calm mood. You begin to nervously rush from one to another, in the end you only provoke excitement. No matter how much you are rushed, do not rush, being late is not so scary, it is better to save your nerves. This applies not only to important meetings: try to get rid of haste in every aspect of your life: when you are getting ready for work, traveling in public transport, doing work. It's an illusion that when you rush, you achieve results faster. Yes, the speed increases, but only slightly, but you lose a lot in composure and concentration.

That's all. All these principles complement each other and can be summarized in the call “ watch yourself". The rest is specific and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I would only advise you to think about each of your phrases, take your time with your answer, carefully weigh and analyze everything. There is no need to try to make an impression in all available ways, you will make one if you do everything right and don’t worry, work on the quality of your performance. There is no need to mumble and get lost if you are caught by surprise: calmly swallow, forget and move on.

Lesson 5. Calm down after the meeting.

Whatever the outcome of the event. You're on edge and still feeling stressed. It's better to take it off and think about something else. All the same principles apply here that helped you pull yourself together before the meeting itself. Try not to think too much about the past event: I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, what if I had performed this way and not that way, oh, how stupid I must have looked, oh I’m a fool, what if...! Just throw all thoughts out of your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if), everything has already passed, put your breathing in order and relax your body. That's all for this lesson.

Lesson 6. You shouldn’t create any reasons for nervousness at all.

This is a very important lesson. Typically, a significant factor in nervousness is the inadequacy of your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything and are confident in yourself, why should you worry about the result?

When I was studying at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, went to the exams completely unprepared, hoping that I would pass and somehow pass. In the end, I passed, but only thanks to phenomenal luck or the kindness of the teachers. I often went for retakes. As a result, during the session I experienced such unprecedented psychological pressure every day due to the fact that I was trying to prepare in a hurry and somehow pass the exam.

During the sessions, an unrealistic number of nerve cells were destroyed. And I still felt sorry for myself, I thought so much had piled up, how hard it was, eh... Although it was all my fault, if I had done everything in advance (I didn’t have to go to lectures, but at least the material to prepare for the exam and pass I could provide myself with all the intermediate control tests - but then I was laziness and I was not at least somehow organized), then I would not have to be so nervous during the exams and worry about the result and about the fact that I would be drafted into the army if I I won’t hand over something, because I would be confident in my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and study at institutes, I’m talking about the fact that you need to try yourself Do not create stress factors for yourself in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and don’t put it off until the last minute! Always have a ready-made plan in your head, or better yet several! This will save you a significant part of your nerve cells, and in general will contribute to great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7. How to strengthen the nervous system and how to stop getting nervous over trifles

In order to stop being nervous, it is not enough just to follow the lessons that I outlined above. It is also necessary to bring the body and mind into a state of peace. And the next thing I will tell you about will be those rules, following which you can strengthen your nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, be calmer and more relaxed. As a result of this you will understand how to stop being nervous over trifles. These methods are focused on long-term results; they will make you less susceptible to stress in general, and not only prepare you for a responsible event.

Firstly, in order to correct the physiological factor of nervousness and bring the nervous system to a state of rest, you need to regularly. This is very good for calming the nervous system and calming the mind. I’ve written a lot about this, so I won’t dwell on it.
Secondly, go in for sports () and take a set of health-supporting measures (contrast showers, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). A healthy body has a healthy mind: your moral well-being depends not only on mental factors. Sports strengthens the nervous system.
Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit in front of the computer less.

There is a category of people who are constantly in a state of anxiety. As soon as their next problem is resolved, another appears on the horizon. They start to get nervous again. Years pass like this. Such a negative habit deprives people of the joy of life, takes away strength, and has a detrimental effect on health. If you belong to this category and are striving to become happier, then you definitely need to learn how to stop being nervous.

What does stress lead to?

A person who is anxious, nervous, is constantly in a zone of discomfort. Unpleasant sensations arise before an important meeting, event, presentation, or acquaintance. The appearance of nervousness is dictated by the psychological aspects of the personality. People get nervous if they fail, hear refusal, or look funny in the eyes of others.

Such psychological factors can greatly ruin your life. It is not surprising that these people are tormented by the question: how to calm down and stop being nervous?

An irritated person is unable to control life. All efforts are aimed at coping with negative emotions.

Losing control over life can lead to unpleasant consequences:

The use of means that allow you to get rid of problems for a short time (use of various medications, smoking, alcoholism).
Loss of life guidelines. A person, fearing failures, cannot and does not want to realize his dreams and desires.
Reduced brain performance.
Stress can lead to chronic fatigue, which can lead to serious illness.
Loss of control over the emotional sphere.

As you can see, the prospects are quite unpleasant. So let's figure out what you need to do to stop being nervous.

Fear Analysis

Most often, people who lack self-confidence experience a feeling of discomfort, which creates nervousness. What to do? How to stop being nervous and worried? Only long-term work on your thoughts and yourself will help you get rid of constant anxiety.

Initially, analyze your fears and acknowledge them. Take a sheet of paper and divide it in half. On the left, write the problems that you can solve. On the right - unsolvable.

Study the problems you wrote on the left. You know how to solve each of them. With a little effort, these problems will not exist. Then are they really worth worrying about?

Now go to the right column. Each of these problems does not depend on your actions. And no matter how hard you try, you cannot influence the course of her decision. So is it worth worrying about these problems?

Face your fears. This will take some time. But you will clearly determine which of the problems were groundless and which were real.

Remember your childhood

When analyzing how to stop being nervous about anything, try to remember the time when you were a little child.

Quite often the problem stems from childhood. Perhaps your parents often used your neighbor’s children as an example, describing their merits. This created low self-esteem. Such people, as a rule, are acutely aware of someone's superiority and are unable to put up with it.

How to stop being nervous in this case? It's time to understand that all people are different. And everyone has both advantages and disadvantages. It's time to accept yourself. Learn to accept your weaknesses calmly. And at the same time appreciate the virtues.

Day of rest

If the question of how to calm down and stop being nervous has begun to arise in your head very often, then you need to relax a little. Give yourself a day of rest.

For maximum relaxation, use the recommendations of psychologists:

Disconnect from your responsibilities. To do this, you need to prepare in advance. If you work, take a day off as vacation. Those who have children are advised to ask family or friends to babysit them in advance, and maybe even hire a nanny. Sometimes, to get a good rest, you just need to change the usual scenario. Think about your travel route in advance and reserve your tickets.
Take a bath in the morning. On a rest day, you can get out of bed whenever you want. And immediately take a relaxing bath. It has been proven that water treatments help relieve stress, calm the mind and help bring order to chaotic thoughts. For the best relaxing effect, add soothing herbs or your favorite essential oils to your bath. A pleasant aroma will make you feel more positive.
Drink a cup of tea or coffee with friends. If the last drink leads to a headache or stimulates nervousness, then exclude this item from your activities on the rest day. Remember, coffee drunk while chatting with friends has a relaxing effect on the body. Drinking alone increases stress.
Do something exciting that you don’t have time for in normal life. It's time to remember your hobbies. On this day you can take up painting, write a story or compose a new song. Perhaps you will be completely captivated by home improvement. Reading a book can be a great way to relax.
Prepare a delicious dish. How to stop being nervous? Treat yourself to delicious food. This is what you need while on vacation. After all, delicious food is one of the sources of human pleasure.
Watch a movie. The most relaxing and calm way to have an interesting pastime is watching movies. And it doesn’t matter whether you do it in an apartment with friends or visit a cinema.

Methods for getting out of a stressful situation

Unfortunately, not everyone and not always can afford to set aside a whole day for rest. In addition, unpleasant feelings and thoughts can come suddenly. How to stop being nervous about anything in such a situation? After all, it is necessary to feel relief now and here. In other words, get rid of a stressful situation.

Get rid of the source of stress for a while. Give yourself a short break. Even a few minutes of complete idleness will be enough for you. Experts say that such breaks not only help relieve nervousness, but also stimulate enthusiasm and creative thinking.
Look at the situation with different eyes. When a person feels excited and irritated, he records precisely the feelings. Try to find the reason that caused such violent emotions. To understand how to stop being nervous about every occasion, ask yourself the question: why did this bring me out of a state of calm? Perhaps you are not appreciated at work, or the salary is too low. Having identified the source, you can outline a strategy for your further actions.
Talk through your problem. It is important to choose the right interlocutor here. This should be a person who can patiently listen to your problem. By talking through the situation, oddly enough, you not only “let off steam”, but also force your brain to analyze the state of affairs and find solutions.
Smile, or better yet, laugh. It is this event that “launches” human brain production chemical substances stimulating improved mood.
Redirect the energy. If you are overwhelmed with negative emotions, then physical training will help improve your mood and reduce stress levels. An excellent method of redirecting energy is to engage in creativity.

New daily routine

How to stop being nervous before a work day or an important event?

The following recommendations will help you overcome unpleasant moments:

Tasty breakfast. To ensure you're in a good mood in the morning, prepare yourself something you love in advance. It could be yogurt, chocolate or cake. Glucose will energize you and help you wake up.
Exercise. Turn on your favorite pleasant music and do some exercises or dance. This will protect the body from stress.
Learn to distract yourself. If a situation arises at work that makes you nervous, think about home, family, or any thing that evokes pleasant associations in you.
Use water. How to stop being nervous over trifles? Water can be very calming. Of course, you won't be able to take a bath at work. But you can turn on the faucet and wash the cup or just watch the stream flow. It is effectively calming.
Look for the positives. If you cannot change the situation itself, then try to change your attitude towards it. If your salary was not paid on Friday, then there will be no temptation to spend it on the weekend.
Count to 10. An old proven way to find peace.
Write a letter. Trust paper with all your problems. Then tear the letter into small pieces or even burn it. At this time, mentally imagine that all your troubles burn away with him.

Life without stress

Above we looked at methods to overcome unpleasant situations. Now let's figure out how to stop being nervous and start living stress-free.

To do this, you need to develop behavioral patterns and good habits that will bring a sense of peace and happiness into your life:

Take a walk in the fresh air. Scientific research confirmed that such walks significantly improve mood. Especially if you combine them with moderate physical activity.
Play sports. This is a reliable protection against diseases caused by stress. Regular exercise provides a calm, positive attitude towards your life.
Don't neglect rest. The quality of sleep has a huge impact on a person's well-being. Chronic lack of sleep often becomes one of the factors provoking the appearance of nervousness and irritability. In addition, people who neglect proper rest have a high risk of developing quite unpleasant diseases such as stroke and heart attack.
Get rid of bad habits. Some people, wondering how to stop being nervous, resort to smoking or drinking, trying to “relax” in this way. However, neither alcohol nor tobacco can relieve irritability and nervousness. They only dampen the severity of the problem for a while, delaying the moment of making a decision.

Calming techniques for pregnant women

For women who are in an interesting position, anxiety is generally contraindicated. But it is during this period that expectant mothers become extremely vulnerable and can get upset over trifles. How to stop being nervous during pregnancy?

There are several simple ways:

Don't give a damn about everything! A pregnant woman should only worry about her health. No matter what events happen nearby, it should be clearly understood that the expectant mother is responsible for the child. Is it possible to put at risk the most precious thing in a woman’s life? Now look at the problem. Is she worth the risk? No! So forget about it.
Mentally create a wall. Imagine that you are reliably protected from the outside world. Pass exclusively positive and pleasant information through the imaginary wall. Let only positive-minded people into your world.
Be more tolerant. It's not as difficult as it might seem. Just think that not all people are able to control themselves and emotions as well as you.
Look for the positive in life. Smile more often, surround yourself with things that bring joy, listen to pleasant music, read interesting books.

Each person must choose the activities that will help him relax and stop being nervous.

You might find these tips useful:

Look at the clouds floating in the sky.
Wash your face with cold water.
In rainy weather, look at the rain, listen to the uniform patter of drops.
Ask a loved one to read a book out loud to you until you fall asleep.
Take paints or pencils and draw whatever comes to your mind. Don't worry about the details and the end result.

Specialist help

If the above recommendations do not help you, then contact a psychotherapist or psychologist for help. The doctor will listen to you and conduct special tests. He will help determine the causes of stressful situations and suggest ways to resolve them. The doctor will develop a strategy on how to stop being nervous and strengthen the nervous system.

If necessary, you will be prescribed sedatives. These can be either medications or herbs. Mint, valerian, St. John's wort, chamomile, and lavender have an excellent calming effect.

However, do not overuse such drugs. They will not rid you of nervousness forever. Such remedies can only help temporarily.