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Self-esteem, according to psychologists, is the quality that allows us to reach unprecedented heights and self-satisfaction or turn us into a worthless being without any pretensions.
Definition of self-esteem
The definition of self-esteem is as follows: self-esteem is the process and result of a person’s assessment of his own qualities and merits.
Thus, self-esteem consists of two subtypes:
- self-esteem of a person - how a person evaluates himself and his position in life;
- Specific situational self-esteem is how a person evaluates himself in a specific situation.
The subject of interest of psychologists in everyday life is most often the first type—personal self-esteem.
Level of self-esteem
A person with a fairly high level of self-esteem is confident in himself, does not get lost in a difficult situation and is not afraid to set himself some complex and difficult goals. And most often he succeeds.
A low level of self-esteem, on the contrary, prevents us from achieving our desires and goals.
What’s interesting is that a person’s level of self-esteem may not correspond at all to his actual qualities and capabilities. This happens primarily because self-esteem is influenced by many factors:
- the opinions and attitudes of other people;
- degree of success;
- the level of self-esteem that a person strives to achieve (aspirations);
- a person's opinion about himself;
- emotional condition;
- degree of self-confidence;
- Confidence or uncertainty in one’s own ability to respond adequately in a difficult situation.
Sometimes you may realize yourself that you rate yourself too low. But if you are too shy or have been constantly convinced (or even still are convinced) that you are not capable of anything, then most likely you do not even have the thought of doubting the assessment of others. In such cases, you need the help of a specialist. After all, correction started on time, with your strong desire, of course, can bring wonderful results.
People who decide to meet with a psychologist learn to look at their actions, successes and failures from the other side, and treat themselves with greater respect and trust.
First, the psychologist will determine your level of self-esteem. You will be offered special tables with the help of which the psychologist clarifies the characteristics of a person’s self-esteem, determines its adequacy and gives recommendations for correction.
Adequate self-esteem
Adequate self-esteem can be high, low or average. If we're talking about about high or low self-esteem, which means that it does not fit the definition of adequate.
Adequate self-esteem in this case means a correct assessment of one’s capabilities, abilities and position in life.
The adequacy of self-esteem is determined by a psychologist by analyzing the real and desired (ideal) aspirations and capabilities of a person. High level self-esteem is usually characteristic of successful, self-confident people who set realistic goals and have enough strength and ability to achieve them
Low self-esteem It is formed in people who are too shy, trying to avoid difficult situations and decisive actions. However, both examples relate to adequate self-esteem.
However, it happens that a person values himself and his capabilities too highly, unjustifiably elevates himself above the people around him, or vice versa. Such people fall under the definition of individuals with inadequately high or low self-esteem.
Features of self-esteem
A person’s level of self-esteem is formed from childhood. Parents who indulge their child in everything and praise him for literally any insignificant reason are unlikely to do the right thing, as they risk raising a person with high self-esteem, which can have a very bad effect on him in the future.
Psychologists, studying the characteristics of self-esteem, have found that this factor may depend on age and even gender.
In this regard, many studies have been written about the characteristics of self-esteem in children of primary school age, the characteristics of self-esteem in adolescents, and so on.
Different features of self-esteem may also manifest themselves in different situations. For example, the same person is capable of treating himself differently and defining his capabilities in the workplace, surrounded by friends or in everyday private life.
Woman's self-esteem
A woman’s self-esteem may also have some peculiarities. Today, for example, one of the most studied topics is the self-esteem of women suffering from infertility.
A woman's self-esteem is generally different from the self-esteem of men. The main reason, psychologists believe, is that the modern woman, although she has more opportunities, still consciously denies herself some claims.
For example, only a small number of representatives of the fair sex allow themselves to aspire to a high leadership position or a bright political career. Often, as already mentioned, a woman denies herself this of her own free will, guided by the fact that these desires are characteristic of men and are approved by society as purely male claims.
Of course, this factor does not have the most favorable effect on a woman’s self-esteem, especially if she has enough strength and opportunity to achieve her goal.
Self-esteem test
As already mentioned, determining self-esteem is the job of a psychologist. However, if you are interested in this topic, you can try to determine your level of self-esteem using popular self-esteem tests adapted for the general public.
For these purposes, I chose a simple self-assessment test that you can analyze on your own.
You are presented with a series of questions to which you need to answer from the options presented. Each answer corresponds to a certain number of points, which you will need to calculate after passing the test.
Answer options
- Almost always - 4
- Often - 3
- It happens - 2
- Occasionally - 1
- Never — 0
Self-esteem test questions
- I am subject to unnecessary worries.
- I need the support of friends.
- I'm afraid to seem stupider than I am.
- I'm not sure about my future.
- I look worse than others.
- I often get upset that people don't understand me
- I feel insecure if I have to talk to other people
- I don't live up to other people's expectations
- I often feel stiff.
- I'm always expecting trouble.
- I feel like I depend on people's opinions.
- It seems to me that people talk about me as soon as I leave the room.
- I'm not sure of my own safety.
- There is no one to whom I can tell what I'm thinking.
- When I do something successfully, other people don't give it enough credit.
Analysis of the self-esteem test
Your score is less than 10 points . Unfortunately, you have signs of high self-esteem and have some work to do. You often get involved in conflicts that arose at your own initiative. People are put off by your arrogance, which is why it is so difficult for you to form friendships and close relationships. Try to correctly determine the reality of the level of your capabilities and aspirations.
Your score is more than 30 points. There is something to work on here too - in contrast to the example given above, you clearly have low self-esteem. Try to treat yourself with more respect and faith in your abilities. Trust people and they will help you increase your self-esteem.
Your result is between 10 and 30 points. You can be congratulated - the adequacy and level of self-esteem you have in in perfect order. In a difficult situation, you are quite capable of coping with yourself and even helping those who are not so confident in themselves.
This self-esteem test, of course, cannot be considered an accurate diagnosis of your level, however, it will allow you to understand by what criteria self-esteem is determined.
I would like to add on my own behalf - believe in yourself and your strengths. Don't let other people's opinions and circumstances get the best of you. If you doubt the adequacy of your own self-esteem or want to increase its level, it is best to contact a specialist who will give individual recommendations and help you cope with the situation.
Remember: often the reason for our failures is not the inability to achieve what we want, but lack of confidence in our abilities.
A person is part of society, and the attitude of others, the assessment of his qualities and attractiveness are important to him. But no less important for us is self-esteem, the attitude towards oneself that is formed in a person throughout his life. The place we occupy in society and the degree of social activity largely depend on the level of our own assessment of our strengths and weaknesses.
In psychology, self-esteem is considered as a complex of a person’s ideas about himself, which were formed on the basis of comparing himself with others. These performances are playing important role in the formation of the image of one’s own “I” or.
Consciously or unconsciously, we always compare ourselves with others and evaluate ourselves from the position of “better”, “worse” or “the same as everyone else”. Important qualities that are significant for society are assessed first. For example, for a young man of the noble class in the first quarter of the 19th century, it was normal to talk about whether he danced the mazurka better or worse than Lieutenant Rzhevsky. But for a modern person this quality does not matter, and therefore is not appreciated.
Thus, self-esteem is based on socially significant values, without which it is impossible to understand oneself worthy of respect in a given society and at a given time.
It is clear that we can evaluate ourselves in different ways, especially since there are situations when we are satisfied with ourselves and like ourselves, but at other times some action makes us experience acute dissatisfaction, and we engage in self-flagellation. But self-esteem as part of personality is sustainable education, although it can change, it does not depend on the situational attitude towards oneself. On the contrary, self-esteem corrects this relationship:
- A person with a high opinion of himself will say: “How could I do this, it’s completely out of character for me,” and will try to forget about the mistake.
- And the one who has low self-esteem, on the contrary, focuses on his mistakes, will reproach himself for them for a long time, and will think that “in life he is a crooked loser who really doesn’t know how to do anything.”
Types and levels of self-esteem
In psychology, there are two types of self-esteem: adequate and inadequate. Sometimes they also talk about optimal and suboptimal self-esteem, thereby emphasizing that many people tend to evaluate themselves slightly above average, and this is more the norm than a deviation. Another thing is how highly we value ourselves.
Adequate self-esteem
Adequate self-esteem, to one degree or another, correctly reflects the abilities and qualities of an individual, that is, it is a person’s idea of himself, which corresponds to the real state of affairs. Such ideas can be either with a + or a − sign, because people are not ideal. For example, when a person says that a bear stepped on his ear, this may not be a belittlement of his own abilities in music, but an adequate assessment of them.
Self-esteem influences all human behavior and his attitude towards himself and towards other people. Thus, with adequate self-esteem an individual:
- correctly assesses the relationship between his desires and abilities;
- sets realistic goals that he can achieve;
- able to look at oneself critically from the outside;
- tries to foresee the results of his actions.
In general, for a person with adequate self-esteem, the people around him are important. But he also evaluates their opinion adequately, focusing more on his own ideas about the benefits or harm of his actions.
Inadequate self-esteem
Not adequate self-esteem There are two types: underestimated and overestimated. The degree of inadequacy comes at different levels. Self-esteem at a level slightly above or slightly below average is a fairly common phenomenon, and they almost do not manifest themselves in an individual’s behavior and do not interfere with his life and interaction with others. The deviation in this case can only be determined using special psychological tests. And self-esteem that is slightly above average does not even need correction, since a person can quite deservedly respect and value himself, and self-esteem has never bothered anyone.
But it happens (and often) that self-esteem is far from optimal and significantly above or below the average level. In this case, it has a serious impact on a person’s actions and can lead to inappropriate behavior with others.
Individual characteristics of people with high self-esteem
People with excessively high self-esteem can be quickly noticed in any team - they strive to be visible, advise everyone, lead everyone and dominate everywhere. Such people are characterized by the following characteristics:
- they estimate their capabilities and their importance too highly;
- they do not accept criticism, and they are irritated by other people’s opinions that do not coincide with their own;
- often have a superiority complex, considering themselves to be right in everything;
- emphatically independent and even arrogant;
- reject the help and support of others;
- blame other people or circumstances for their failures and problems;
- do not notice their weaknesses or pass them off as strengths, for example, stubbornness as perseverance, and arrogance as determination;
- are often distinguished by a demonstrative type of behavior, they like to perform actions for show;
- have a tendency to treat others with disdain.
There is an opinion that it is better to have high self-esteem than low self-esteem. But here it all depends on the level - people who value themselves too highly can be very unpleasant.
Low self-esteem
People with a level of self-esteem significantly below average cannot always be immediately noticed, especially in a team. They do not strive to be visible and seem simply modest. But in the process of communicating with them, their far from pleasant qualities are revealed:
- indecisiveness and excessive caution;
- dependence on the opinions of other people and the constant need for their support;
- the desire to shift responsibility, including for one’s actions, onto the shoulders of others;
- inferiority complex and, as a consequence of it, excessive vulnerability, quarrelsomeness;
- excessive demands on oneself and others, perfectionism;
- pettiness, vindictiveness and envy;
- Suffering from low self-esteem, they nevertheless try to prove to everyone that they are “cool” and commit inappropriate actions.
Low self-esteem also makes people selfish, only this is a different kind of selfishness. They are so immersed in their failures and obsessed with self-pity that they do not notice the problems of their loved ones. Very often, those who have too low a level of self-esteem do not know how to respect or love.
Self-esteem structure
In the structure of self-esteem, psychologists distinguish two components: cognitive and emotional:
- The cognitive component (from the Latin cognition - knowledge) includes a person’s knowledge about himself, his abilities, skills, capabilities, weaknesses and strengths. This component is formed in the process of self-knowledge and largely affects the level of self-esteem. Inadequate self-esteem, as a rule, is associated either with ideas about one’s own “I” that do not correspond to reality, or with their unformedness.
- The emotional component is the individual’s attitude towards himself and various manifestations of his own personality. The feelings we feel for ourselves are very contradictory: approval and disapproval, self-respect or lack thereof, .
The differences between these two components are purely theoretical, in real life they coexist in inextricable unity - our knowledge about our qualities is always emotionally charged.
Factors influencing the formation of self-esteem
Inadequate self-esteem is always bad; it creates discomfort and problems for both the person himself and his environment. But can an individual be blamed for having a wrong self-image? Under the influence of what is self-esteem formed?
Social factors
The foundations of self-esteem are laid in childhood, from the moment when the baby becomes aware of his “I” and begins to compare himself with other children and adults. But in preschool, and even in junior school age Children cannot yet adequately analyze their qualities and their behavior, so the evaluative sphere is formed entirely under the influence of adults. Remember how V. Mayakovsky wrote: “The little son came to his father, and the little one asked: - What is good? And what is bad?
People with a sensitive psyche worry more about their failures and about the assessments of others than those who are less emotional.
- A person whose melancholic traits predominate tends to get upset even over a minor random remark and remember it for a long time.
- A phlegmatic person may not even pay attention to the remark.
- Closed and unsociable people worry less about the assessments of others than sociable extroverts. On the other hand, due to their tendency to demonstrate behavior, they often suffer from inflated self-esteem. But people who avoid people and prefer solitude often consider themselves superior to others and despise those around them who are unworthy of communicating with them.
That is individual characteristics Personalities certainly influence the formation of self-esteem, but its vector is set primarily by the social environment. There is another important factor related to a person’s assessment of his own “I”.
Level of aspiration
We all strive for something in life, we set goals for ourselves. And these goals are different: some want to earn money for a new apartment, some want to create their own thriving company, and for others a trip to the sea is the ultimate dream. The degree of complexity, difficulty of a goal or task that a person defines for himself is the level of his aspirations.
Just like self-esteem, the level of aspirations can be adequate or inadequate. Adequate is one where goals correspond to human capabilities. If a school graduate with poor knowledge and low Unified State Exam grades decides to apply to a prestigious metropolitan university, then he clearly has an inadequate, inflated level of aspirations. And when a good student refuses to enter higher education? educational institution, because he is afraid of failure, then his level of aspirations is too low. Both are bad.
The level of aspirations is formed under the influence of successes and failures that accompany a person throughout his life. life path, and, in turn, influences the formation of self-esteem. After all, an athlete, constantly setting a bar for himself that he cannot jump over, will very quickly become disappointed in his abilities and in the ability to achieve success. And a low level of aspirations does not contribute to the development of self-esteem and self-confidence.
But psychologists still believe that a low level is worse than a high level and has a bad effect on the formation of personality and its position in society. It makes a person a socially passive loser who does not strive for success.
Self-esteem correction
The possibility of changing one's self-esteem towards a more adequate one worries many people. This is especially typical for mature and seemingly accomplished individuals, when a person realizes that an incorrect assessment of his strengths and capabilities prevents him from achieving success and has a negative impact on relationships with others.
Self-esteem can be corrected even independently, although in particularly advanced cases the help of a psychotherapist or psychological consultant is required. But it is easier to increase self-esteem than to reduce inadequately inflated ones. More precisely, there are conditions under which self-esteem decreases, but most often they are unpleasant and even...
If an individual realized that he had an inadequately inflated self-esteem, it means that he was able to look at himself critically, and therefore, his self-esteem is not so inflated. In any case, he is already on the right track.
There are many tips for increasing self-esteem. But first you should figure out in what area you underestimate yourself. What don't you like most about yourself or what do you need to increase your self-esteem? Write down on a separate sheet in a column the main areas in which a person is realized:
- relationships with people;
- professional activity (or choice of profession);
- appearance;
- knowledge level, ;
- hobbies;
- family.
You can add something important to you yourself. Now rate your success in these areas on a 10-point scale. If the scores are slightly higher than 5 points, then your self-esteem is within the normal range, but you can improve it. And if it is significantly below 5, then special attention should be paid to this area.
Think about why you think you are unsuccessful in this area? What do you need to feel more confident, begin to respect yourself and even admire yourself? Write down on a separate sheet what you are missing. And start working to eliminate these shortcomings.
As you can see, nothing complicated. And if you would like a “magic pill” or a ready-made recipe, there are none. People are all different, our problems are also different. But you can give some general tips to increase self-esteem:
- Stop comparing yourself to others. Remember, every person is unique, not better or worse, just different. And your advantage is that you are different from others.
- Look around and try to see all the good and bright things. Stop, consolidate this feeling in your head and try not to allow negative thoughts anymore - they attract failures.
- When starting any business, focus on success; defeat comes to those who wait for it.
- Smile. A smile is a powerful tool that adjusts our state to positivity. But it is no less important that it incites the people around us to appreciate us more highly.
- Write down all your strengths on a piece of paper and re-read them often, especially when you feel insecure and afraid of failure.
- Be more open. Don't hesitate to ask people for help and support.
To increase self-esteem, the approval and praise of others is very important. Therefore, find yourself a hobby or hobbies in which you can succeed, and do not be shy to demonstrate these successes. Draw, knit, cross-stitch, assemble pictures from plastic corks or photograph unusual clouds. And share your successes, seek praise. Now with the development of communication in in social networks this is not difficult to do.
My self-esteem - what is it?
As we continue to change ourselves and our lives for the better, let's talk about such a widespread concept as self-esteem. Let's figure it out: what it is, who evaluates whom, where it comes from and why it is needed.
They often say: he has problems, low self-esteem. Or vice versa: oh, how self-confident he is! He has high self-esteem!
So what are we talking about?
What it is?
Self-esteem is a person’s idea of himself, the way you think about yourself. A kind of internal portrait of yourself.
How do you see yourself? Strong, dexterous, lucky, handsome? Or an ugly, stupid, loser? Your successes and mistakes, your self-confidence, and your relationships with other people largely depend on how you look in your own eyes. It's all about self-perception. Surely you have noticed more than once that a quite attractive girl, dissatisfied with her own appearance, begins to give the impression of being ugly. And an ordinary-looking girl from the “nothing special” category, but who considers herself a beauty, attracts the active attention of men.
Psychologists have proven that a positive attitude towards oneself and any activity (study, communication, sports, etc.) are constantly dependent on each other. Success increases self-esteem, which, in turn, contributes to the acquisition of new knowledge or the completion of new tasks. Mistakes lower self-esteem, which provokes more and more mistakes and failures.
What is my self-esteem, what does it depend on?
Initial self-esteem is formed in childhood under the influence of parents and loved ones. That is, if your parents in your childhood were deeply convinced that you were doing everything right and healthy, then you will get used to treating yourself like this: I’m great. And any business you start will certainly succeed.
Well, if your parents were often dissatisfied with your actions, then, most likely, you will also have doubts about your own success (on the other hand, show me a parent who would not reprimand his own child :).
But as you grow older, this important personality quality begins to be influenced by the opinions of friends, just those around you, and most importantly - attention! - your own opinion about yourself! With friends and other people, everything is clear - the more you are valued, praised and loved, the more pleasant your life is, this is a no brainer. But what to do with your thoughts?
And it turns out to be a rather interesting situation: my opinion about myself depends on my opinion about myself. How can this be? And it's very simple! We attach great importance to the words spoken about us by other people. And we completely forget that the words we address to ourselves have no less (or even more) power.
This means that if there are some problems with the initial self-esteem, then it’s too early to give up and say to yourself: “Well, that’s it, now I’m doomed to an unsuccessful life, nothing will help me...”. Not at all! It is quite possible to correct the situation.
The main thing is not to look for those to blame, but to act. Looking back, remembering childhood and various, not very pleasant situations (and who hasn’t had them!), you shouldn’t dwell on them, endlessly worrying and feeling sorry for yourself. It has happened and passed, we look forward and try to change our attitude towards ourselves.
How to increase your self-esteem?
First of all, you need to learn to see yourself in a positive way. There are no people without shortcomings, but fixing your attention only on them is unfair to yourself. The great Shakespeare said: “Praise yourself, others will say everything bad about you.”
Therefore, in a calm atmosphere, when no one bothers you, take a piece of paper and write all the good things about yourself: your best qualities, your skills, successes and achievements. List everything that comes to mind: how smart, handsome, persistent I am, I like to read, I swim well, I can be funny, yesterday I learned to stand on my head, I help my friends in difficult situations, I have a great understanding of music, I have a sense of rhythm, I am engaged in self-improvement and etc. Now pin the resulting list in a prominent place, and read it - preferably out loud, but you can also silently. The main thing is to remember that you have many wonderful qualities, you have something to be proud of and something to praise yourself for.
This leaflet is another lifesaver for you. When it’s difficult, something didn’t work out, or, on the contrary, you’re just starting a new business, start “evaluating” yourself by looking at this piece of paper. The qualities listed there will vividly remind you that you are a wonderful person who will succeed in everything. Don’t be shy about adding your new successes there - as already said, success increases self-esteem.
Perhaps in the process of doing the exercise, you will feel how difficult it is to find your good qualities. For some reason, you can scold yourself without any difficulty, but praising yourself is somehow awkward, and many are taught from childhood that this is immodest. Surely at first the words will get stuck in the throat, and the praise will come out timid and awkward. But, as in sports, regular training works wonders.
Very soon you will learn to praise yourself for successfully done things, and in difficult situations you will not pronounce an accusatory monologue against yourself, but remind yourself that you, by the way, are very good, and the difficulties that have arisen are only a temporary phenomenon.
Let's look at things realistically: we all like it when there is a person nearby who praises us, loves us, and morally supports us. Then everything works out better right away. We are very grateful to such warm-hearted people. But why not sometimes find yourself in that someone’s shoes? One nice French proverb says: “It’s not a sin to help yourself.”
The better you treat yourself now, the more friends you will have, the more you will love and feel the love of others for yourself, the more interesting and happier your life will be.
The role of self-esteem in a person's life is very important. High or low self-esteem makes a person’s life difficult. It is not easy to be timid, unsure of yourself, vulnerable and withdrawn. People with low self-esteem set small goals for themselves and do not achieve anything in life, do not reveal their potential and do not realize themselves as individuals. When a person is arrogant, tactless, arrogant, does not really assess his capabilities and abilities, sets inflated, global goals and cannot realize them. The consequence of inadequate self-esteem is a feeling of dissatisfaction with oneself, leading to breakdowns and depression.
You can increase your self-esteem by either maximizing success or minimizing failure. The discrepancy between a person’s aspirations and actual behavior leads to distortions in self-esteem. The higher the aspirations, the greater the successes must be for a person to feel satisfied.
The level of self-esteem is revealed not only in the way a person speaks, but also in the way he acts.
Low self-esteem manifests itself in increased anxiety, constant fear of a negative opinion about oneself, increased vulnerability, which encourages a person to reduce contacts with other people. Low self-esteem destroys a person’s hopes for a good attitude towards him and success, and he perceives his real successes and the positive assessment of others as temporary and accidental. For a person with low self-esteem, many problems seem insoluble; these people are very vulnerable, their mood is subject to frequent fluctuations, they react more sharply to criticism, laughter, and reproach. They are more dependent.
Underestimating one's usefulness reduces social activity and reduces initiative; such people avoid competition in their activities because, having set a goal for themselves, they do not hope for success.
Sufficiently high self-esteem is manifested in the fact that a person is guided by his principles, regardless of the opinions of others about them. If self-esteem is not too high, then it can have a positive effect on well-being, as it creates resistance to criticism. In this case, a person knows his own worth; the opinion of others does not have absolute, decisive importance for him.
With inflated self-esteem, a person confidently takes on work that exceeds real capabilities.
True self-esteem maintains a person's dignity and gives him moral satisfaction.
As self-esteem is formed and strengthened, the ability to assert and defend one’s position in life increases.
Check your self-esteem
It is necessary to answer the questions taking into account the fact that the answers have a gradation:
Very often - 4 points
Often - 3 points
Sometimes - 2 points
Rarely - 1 point
Never - 0 points
Questionnaire text:
Interpretation of results. The sum of points is calculated.
30 points - you underestimate yourself.
10-30 points - correct (adequate) self-esteem
10 and below - inflated self-esteem.
2. Try not to remember or delve into your past failures and disappointments. Remember your successes more often, think about how you were able to achieve them.
3. Don't allow yourself to overindulge in feelings of guilt and shame. It won't help you succeed.
4. Look for the reasons for your failures in your insecurities, and not in personality flaws.
5. Never talk bad about yourself, even to yourself. Especially avoid taking credit for yourself negative traits, such as stupidity, inability to do anything, bad luck, incorrigibility.
6. If you are criticized for something poorly done, try to use this criticism for your own good, learn from mistakes, but do not allow other people to criticize you as an individual.
7. Do not put up with people, circumstances and activities that make you feel inferior. If you manage to act as the situation requires, it is better not to do this business and do not communicate with such people.
8. Try to take on only those tasks that you can handle. You can gradually make them more difficult, but don't take on anything you're not sure about.
9. Remember that criticism is often biased. Stop reacting sharply and painfully to all critical remarks addressed to you, just take into account the opinions of the people who criticize you.
10. Don't compare yourself to the "ideal". Ideals are admired, but they should not be turned into a measure of success.
11. Don't be afraid to try anything for fear of failure. Only by acting can you find out your real capabilities;
12. Always be yourself. By trying to be like everyone else, you hide your individuality, which deserves the same respect as any other.
Exercises:
1. Make a list of your weaknesses. Write them in a column on the left half of a sheet of paper. On the right half write those positive traits, which can be contrasted with your weaknesses, for example: I have a slow reaction, but high performance. Expand and justify counterarguments, find suitable examples for them. Start thinking of yourself in terms of the right column, not the left.2. Can each of us do something better than others, even things like fry an omelet or hammer nails? And you? What exactly can you do better than others? Make a list of your strengths, those things that you do better than others.
3. Imagine the person you admire. It could be like a real man, and the hero of a movie or book. Try to find the advantages you have in common with him. And then try to find flaws in him that you don’t have. Learn to make comparisons in your favor.
4. Learn not to make excuses or withdraw into yourself in response to accusations, but to refute them with reason. 1. Think about how your opinion of yourself matches the opinion of your parents, classmates and friends?
2. Learn to listen to the opinions of other people, their approval or disapproval: after all, others can often evaluate you more accurately than you can do it yourself.
3. Treat critical comments from friends, parents or teachers as constructive advice and “guidance for action”, and not as “an annoying hindrance” or “misunderstanding of you”.
4. Having received a refusal in a request for something or having failed to cope with the task entrusted to you, look for the reasons in yourself, and not in circumstances or other people.
5. Remember that compliments or praise are not always sincere. Try to understand how much the praise corresponds to the actual work that you managed to do.
6. When comparing with others, try to compare yourself with those who achieve maximum success in specific activities and in life in general.
7. Before taking on a responsible task, carefully analyze your capabilities and only after that draw a conclusion about whether you can cope with it.
8. Don’t consider your shortcomings a trifle: you don’t consider other people’s shortcomings a trifle, do you?
9. Try to be more critical of yourself: reasonable self-criticism promotes self-development and a more complete realization of potential capabilities.
10. Don’t allow yourself to “rest on your laurels.” Having successfully completed something, think about whether it could have been done better, and if so, what prevented it.
11. Always focus on other people’s assessment of the results of your actions, and not on own feeling satisfaction.
12. Respect the feelings and desires of other people, they have exactly the same meaning as your own.
Exercises:
1. Write down your top 10 strengths. Rate their severity on a five-point scale. Ask your parents, friends or classmates to do the same. Compare your results. Is there a difference in ratings? How do you think why? Try to see the reason for discrepancies in yourself and your behavior, and not in the people around you.2. Write 10 of your own negative qualities. Do you think they bother you? What about the people you communicate with? Think about it.
3. Try to name a task that you can do very well. Now try to name three of your acquaintances, classmates who could cope with this matter better than you.
4. Try to highlight the shortcomings that prevent your strengths from becoming ideal. For example: I am witty, but sometimes I am tactless; I have excellent reactions, but sometimes my actions are ahead of my thoughts.
Simple rules to help increase self-esteem and strengthen your position in the office or at work
Almost all areas of our lives depend on the level of self-esteem. It’s one thing if we behave quietly, modestly and unnoticed in personal life, and it’s quite another to choose such a model of behavior in the office. It is quite difficult for an indecisive person not only to achieve success and make a career, but also to earn the respect of not only colleagues, but also superiors. If you are timid and indecisive, then you should not think that you will not see a good career. There are many ways to improve your self-esteem without it affecting your career.
Simple rules for increasing self-esteem at work
Rule one: Forget that you have low self-esteem
Don't think that it is vital for you to work on yourself. Relax, be yourself, try to remove internal pressures and work calmly. The most important thing is to believe that you will definitely achieve your goals.
Rule two: Try not to compare yourself with colleagues
Remember that in any team there are people who work either better or worse than you. If you suffer from low self-esteem, then you will constantly feel that those around you are more professional. As a rule, any comparison will not be in your favor. So why upset yourself needlessly? If you really want to do analysis, then compare yourself... with yourself. For example, this month you managed to conclude more successful deals than the previous one, or today you performed much better at the planning meeting than yesterday.
Rule three: Love yourself
Don't scold or criticize yourself. Absolutely everyone makes mistakes, the main thing is to be able to analyze them, correct them and try to avoid them in the future. No matter how many “blunders” you make, focus on your successes and achievements. To ensure that your successes are not forgotten, start something like a journal in which you will celebrate your big and small achievements. Most importantly, do not forget to reward yourself even for the smallest victory over yourself. For example, if you successfully negotiated - buy yourself a box of chocolates, wrote a good article - treat yourself to a new lipstick, made a new proposal that improved the company's income - buy yourself some of their clothes.
Rule four: Stop constantly making excuses and apologizing.
The more you make excuses, the worse it is for your self-esteem. Remember again that there are no ideal employees. Even your boss sometimes makes mistakes at work. If it happens that you did something wrong, try not to panic. First of all, soberly assess the situation and think about what consequences your mistake could lead to and whether it can be corrected. If you are “caught in the act,” then try to calmly convey to your superiors why you did this and promise to fix everything.
Rule five: Do not underestimate your merits
Always remember what you got in the first place a good education, secondly, we studied a lot of professional literature, and thirdly, we attended many advanced training courses. If you were nothing, if you had no value to the company, then you would have been fired a long time ago. Let yourself feel like a professional. Make it clear to yourself and your colleagues that you occupy your position by right.
Rule six: Educate yourself
Explore professional literature, be interested in new products and the latest developments, use advanced technologies. The more you know about the business you are doing, the more confident you will feel among your colleagues. By engaging in self-education, you will not only help increase your self-esteem, but also distinguish yourself favorably in the eyes of management. Make it a rule to learn something new every day or do work that is unusual for you.
Rule seven: Don't be afraid to ask colleagues for help
If you don’t know something, or something isn’t going well for you, then it’s better to overcome yourself and turn to experienced colleagues. No one is perfect, so nothing will happen if you show that you don't understand something. Tips from your colleagues will help you do your work better and avoid making mistakes. It is better to overcome embarrassment now than to blush for your mistakes later.
Rule eight: Learn to overcome your fears
Finally, stop being afraid of everything. Our thoughts are material and with your fears you will only attract failures to yourself. Don't dwell on your mistakes, remember that they can always be corrected. But if you constantly think that your boss is unhappy with you, that you are in danger of being fired, that you will make a mistake, then try to imagine that your far-fetched fears have become real. Take a deep breath and think about how you will act. Voice your problem out loud and make a plan for how you will solve it. Such thoughtfulness will allow you not to become confused in the face of real “danger” and will give you the opportunity to act calmly and without panic.
Rule nine: Choose the right social circle
Try to communicate with positively-minded colleagues who are ready to support and praise you. Peace of mind– deposit high self-esteem and a successful career, so avoid people who constantly put you down and criticize your work methods. Limit communication with those who are unpleasant to you.
Rule ten: Make a list of your positive qualities
This can be either business or personal qualities, but there should be more than 20 of them. Read this list before you start your workday, or better yet, hang it in a prominent place so that you can remind yourself throughout the day how smart and super professional you are.
The most important rule is don’t be afraid to act. Be decisive and confidently go towards your goal. Believing in yourself is the first step to success.
