Psychological maturity: concept, periods, levels and features. Personal maturity What is personal maturity

We are all adults. But adulthood is not an indicator of maturity. Personal maturity is the level of human development at which there is an orientation toward one’s own principles and values. How are mature individuals different?

Personal maturity and immaturity.

Mature people are not tormented by the ghosts of the past, everything is clear for them in the present, they are engaged in business. Such a person is able to consciously choose something new and go towards it.

People who live differently do things differently too. They are forced to move only by some unpleasant events. The reason for moving is the inability to endure any longer.

This is the first thing that separates emotionally and personally mature people from failed ones. Some go where it’s scary because they know that their dream is there. And others run wherever they want.

Emotionally mature individuals know how to motivate themselves. For example, people who have already paid for the training perceive the material differently. They really bite into it. They clearly decided to change their lives. And they do it for results.

I know from my own example. IN Lately I decided to concentrate on individual training. I may have fewer clients, but I will know everything about each one and manage them more effectively. The best way to change is to find someone who will help you with it. And, oddly enough, but preferably for a good amount, tangible for you. This will be a great incentive to work. And so I found the necessary person, paid him and, with his help, changed the direction of my activity.

What do emotionally mature individuals do when they need to change something in their lives? First they make a decision. Further, the decision is supported by investments of one’s time, energy, and financial resources. And then they begin to actively act.

Emotionally immature individuals run away from troubles and difficulties. Any life situation leads to escape. Moreover, the direction does not matter at all! But, as a rule, avoiding one difficulty leads to another. For example, people leave bad relationship, but they start to get even worse. Or they leave a bad job because they were not treated well enough, and take a job where they are treated even worse.

What is the main benefit of personal maturity and how to achieve it?

Personal maturity helps in adaptation. Socially successful people not only are they easily adaptable, but they can also influence the environment. They rearrange their environment according to their goals and values. Decisions are not made momentarily, but according to one’s convictions, which have been formed over many years. Situations are dealt with effectively and the optimal solution is sought.

If you understand that you are not yet mature enough, that you do not have enough knowledge to form your own value system, then start learning! At least start with free sources. You can become a mature person at any time.

The level of personality development is often correlated with the degree of its socialization. The criteria of maturity, accordingly, appear as the criteria of socialization. At the same time, the question of the criteria for personality maturity is not resolved once and for all in domestic psychology. Among maturity indicators:

the breadth of social connections, presented at the subjective level: I-other, I-others, I-society as a whole, I-humanity;
a measure of the development of the individual as a subject;
the nature of the activity - from appropriation to implementation and conscious reproduction;
social competence.

C. G. Jung linked the achievement of maturity with the individual's acceptance of responsibility, first of all, for his projections, their awareness and subsequent assimilation. K. Rogers considered responsibility in close connection with awareness, freedom to be oneself, control of one's own life and choice.

Expanding the sense of self, which gradually arises in infancy, is not fully formed in the first 3-4 years or even in the first 10 years of life, but continues to expand with experience as the range of what a person participates in increases. What is important here is the activity of the Self, which must be purposeful.
Warmth in relationships with others. A person must be capable of significant intimacy in love (in a strong friendship). And at the same time, avoid idle, obsessive involvement in relationships with other people, even with your own family.
Emotional security (self-acceptance). A mature person expresses his beliefs and feelings while taking into account the beliefs and feelings of others and without feeling threatened by the expression of emotions - by himself or others.
Realistic perception, skills and tasks. A mature personality must be focused on the problem, on something objective that is worth doing. The task makes you forget about satisfying drives, pleasures, pride, and protection. This criterion is obviously related to responsibility, which is the existentialist ideal of maturity. At the same time, a mature personality is in close contact with the real world.
Self-objectification- understanding, humor. A person acting for show does not realize that his deception is transparent and his posture is inadequate. A mature person knows that it is impossible to “fake” a personality; one can only deliberately play a role for the sake of entertainment. The higher the self-understanding, the more clearly a person’s sense of humor is expressed. It is worth remembering that real humor sees behind some serious object or subject (for example, oneself) the contrast between appearance and essence.
Unified philosophy of life. A mature person necessarily has a clear idea of his purpose in life. A mature person has a relatively clear self-image. This criterion is associated with the “maturity” of conscience. A mature conscience is a feeling of duty to maintain one’s self-image in an acceptable form, to continue one’s chosen line of proprietary aspirations, and to create one’s own style of being. Conscience is a type of self-government.

It is important to note that the process of socialization does not stop in adulthood. Moreover, it never ends, but always has a conscious or unconscious goal. Thus, the concepts of “maturity” and “adulthood” are not synonymous. In fact, even at the individual level, the concepts of “maturity” and “adulthood” do not completely coincide. Within one paradigm, the problem of maturity can be considered at the level of the relationship between different levels human organization: individual, personality, subject of activity. According to A. A. Bodalev, in the process of human development there is a certain relationship between the manifestations of the individual, personality and subject of activity. The nature of this relationship can be represented in four main ways.

Individual human development is significantly ahead of his personal and subjective-activity development. A person is physically already an adult, but his assimilation of the basic values of life, attitude to work, and sense of responsibility are insufficient. More often this occurs in those families where parents “extend childhood” for their children.
Personal human development is more intensive than his individual and subject-activity development. All qualities (values, relationships) outstrip the pace of physical maturation, and a person as a subject of labor cannot develop habits for everyday work effort or determine his calling.
Subjective-activity development is in the lead compared to the other two. A person can almost fanatically love to work at the level of his still small physical capabilities and poorly formed positive personal qualities.
There is a relative correspondence of the pace of individual, personal and subject-activity development. The ratio that is most optimal for human development throughout his life. Normal physical development and good physical well-being are one of the factors not only for more successful assimilation, but also for the manifestation of the basic values of life and culture, which are expressed in the motives of human behavior. And positive motivation, behind which stands the emotional-need core of the personality, is one of the indispensable components of the structure of a person as an active subject of activity.

A. A. Rean, trying to summarize the known approaches to the psychological understanding of the level of maturity of an individual, identifies four, in his opinion, basic or fundamental components that are not “ordinary”:

responsibility;
tolerance;
self-development;
positive thinking or a positive attitude towards the world, which determines a positive outlook on the world.

The last component is integrative, since it covers all the others, being simultaneously present in them.

Personal development does not end with the acquisition of autonomy and independence. We can say that personality development is a process that never ends, which indicates the infinity and unlimited self-disclosure of personality. He goes a long way, one of the stages of which is the achievement of self-determination, self-government, independence from external motivations, the other is the realization by the individual of the forces and abilities inherent in him, the third is overcoming his limited self and the active development of more general global values.

Self-development is influenced by a large group of factors: individual characteristics, age, relationships with others, professional activity, family relationships, etc. The process of self-development of an adult is uneven, changes in personality relationships at certain periods of life are progressive, raising it to the “acme” level, then evolutionary processes begin, leading to “stagnation” or regression of the personality.

The stage of maturity and at the same time a certain peak of this maturity - acme (translated from Greek means “top”, “edge”) - is a multidimensional state of a person, which, although it covers a significant stage of his life in terms of time, is never a static formation and is distinguished by a greater or less variability and changeability. Acme shows how successful a person is as a citizen, as a specialist in a certain type of activity, as a spouse, as a parent, etc.

Acmeology is a science that arose at the intersection of natural, social, humanitarian, and technical disciplines, studying the phenomenology, patterns and mechanisms of human development at the stage of his maturity and especially when he reaches the highest level in this development.

The concept of “acmeology” was proposed in 1928 by N. A. Rybnikov, and the new field scientific research in human science began to be created in 1968 by B. G. Ananyev. One of the most important tasks of acmeology is to clarify the characteristics that should be formed in a person in preschool childhood, younger school age, during the years of adolescence and youth, so that he can successfully prove himself in all respects at the stage of maturity.

“Maturity occurs when a person mobilizes his resources to overcome the frustration and fear that arise due to lack of support from others. A situation in which an individual cannot take advantage of the support of others and rely on himself is called a dead end. Maturity lies in the ability to go take risks to get out of a dead end Some people who are unable (or unwilling) to take risks take for a long time take on the protective role of the “helpless”

Frederick Perls

“I do not agree with Perls, who claims that a sign of health and maturity is the ability to do without the support of the environment, with self-support alone. In my opinion, a healthy and mature individual is one who is able to flexibly, adequately and creatively perceive support both from the outside and and from our own resources."

Jean-Marie Robin

Criteria for emotional maturity (William Menninger):
- The ability to constructively interact with the surrounding reality
(face reality, acknowledge problems rather than run away from them, look for ways to solve or cope with the situation);

Ability to adapt to change
(calm attitude to the fact that changes can disrupt the routine, change expectations; the ability to give yourself time to accept new things);

Ability to cope with psychological stress and anxiety and prevent psychosomatic reactions
(ability to find constructive ways coping with stress, mastering relaxation skills, achieving inner harmony);

The ability to experience greater satisfaction from giving than receiving;

Ability to understand people and connect with them mutual language, cooperate and come to mutual agreement, help each other;
(key signs of a healthy relationship are love and mutual respect)

The ability to creatively direct impulsive hostile energy into a constructive direction;

Ability to love

Mature family

(Polina Gaverdovskaya)

Signs of a psychologically mature personality

The model of a mature personality allows for a different set of characteristics, so here we are talking about those that can form the central framework of such a personality model:
1.Authenticity (originality)
There are 3 main signs of authentic existence:
-full awareness of the present moment of life;
-independent choice of a way of life at the moment;
-acceptance of personal responsibility for this choice.
Authenticity to some extent generalizes many personality traits. First of all, it is an expression of sincerity. An authentic person wants to be and is himself, both in his immediate reactions and in his overall behavior. The difficulties of most people lie in the fact that they spend a lot of vital energy on playing roles, on creating an external facade, instead of using it to solve their real problems. If a person hides behind the mask of a role most of the time, then in return he will receive a similar insincere attitude from others. Authenticity exemplifies flexible behavior.
2.Openness to your own experience (acceptance of your feelings)
Here, openness is understood not in the sense of frankness in front of other people, but as sincerity in perception own feelings. Social experience teaches you to deny, to discard your feelings, especially negative ones, but a psychologically mature person acts differently - he lives them. Only in this case can you successfully regulate your behavior, since repressed feelings become a source of erupting uncontrollable emotions. By being aware of emotional reactions, a person can choose one or another way of behavior in each situation, rather than allowing unconscious feelings to disrupt the regulation of behavior. Therefore, a mature person shows tolerance to the entire gamut of his own and others’ emotional reactions.
3.Development of self-knowledge
Limited self-knowledge implies a limitation of freedom, and deep self-knowledge increases the possibility of choice in one’s life. Than more people knows about himself, the better he will understand other people, and vice versa - the more a person understands others, the deeper he understands himself. The inability to hear what is going on inside us limits our effectiveness in life. It is very important to be realistic and conscious about ourselves.
4.Strength of personality and identity
A mature person must know who he is, who he can become, what he wants from life, what is essentially important to him and what is unimportant. He approaches life with questions, answers the questions life poses to him, and constantly tests his values. A mature person is not a reflection of the hopes of other people, he acts guided by his own inner position. This will make him feel strong in interpersonal relationships.
5.Ability to withstand uncertainty
Confidence in one’s intuition and the adequacy of feelings, confidence in the constructiveness of decisions made and the ability to take justifiable risks help a person to endure the stress created by the uncertainty of the entire series of life situations.
6.Accepting personal responsibility
Understanding your responsibility allows you to freely and consciously make a choice at any moment of communication - agree with the arguments of your interlocutor or engage in productive confrontation. Personal responsibility helps you deal with criticism more constructively. In such cases, criticism does not trigger defense mechanisms, but serves as a useful feedback, improving the efficiency of activity and even the organization of human life.
7.Depth of relationships with others
A psychologically mature person is not afraid of intimacy, openness and depth of relationships. He is able to quite freely express his feelings, both positive and negative, when communicating with other people. And when evaluating other people (their views, feelings, character traits), he does this without judgment or labeling.
8. Setting realistic communication goals
9. Feeling empathy for others
Empathy is sympathy and understanding of the feelings of a communication partner, as well as the obligatory consideration of them in the communication process
(Andrey Konovalov)

Maturity (according to G. Allport)
Allport believed that human maturation is a continuous, lifelong process of becoming and believed that a psychologically mature person is characterized by 6 main traits.
1. A mature person has wide boundaries of self. Mature individuals can look at themselves “from the outside”
2. A mature person is capable of warm, cordial social relations. There are two types of warm interpersonal relationships that fall under this category: friendly intimacy and empathy. Friendly-close aspect warm relations manifests itself in a person's ability to express deep love to family and close friends, untainted by possessiveness or jealousy. Empathy is reflected in a person's ability to be tolerant of differences (in values or attitudes) between himself and others, which allows him to demonstrate deep respect for others and acceptance of their positions, as well as commonality with all people
3. A mature person demonstrates emotional detachment and self-acceptance. Adults have a positive self-image and are thus able to tolerate both disappointing or irritating events and their own shortcomings without becoming internally bitter or bitter. They are also able to cope with stressful situations and their own emotional states (for example, depression, fear, anger or guilt) in a way that does not interfere with the well-being of others. For example, if they are having a bad day, they don’t take it out on the first person they meet. Moreover, when expressing their opinions and feelings, they take into account how it will affect others.
4. A mature person demonstrates realistic perceptions, experiences and aspirations. Sees things as they are, not as they would like them to be. May temporarily push his personal desires and impulses into the background until an important task is completed.
Thus, adults perceive other people, objects and situations as they really are; they have enough experience and skill to deal with reality; They strive to achieve personally meaningful and realistic goals.
5. A mature person demonstrates self-knowledge and a sense of humor. Socrates noted that in order to live a full life, there is one overriding rule: “Know yourself.” Allport called it "self-objectification", knowledge of one's own psychology. By this he meant that mature people have a clear understanding of their own strengths and weaknesses. An important component of self-knowledge is humor, which prevents pompous self-aggrandizement and idle talk. It allows people to see and accept the extremely absurd aspects of their own and others' life situations.
6. A mature person has a coherent philosophy of life. Mature people are able to see the whole picture by clearly, systematically, and consistently highlighting what is significant in their own lives. According to Allport, best goal or philosophy does not exist here. Allport's point of view on this matter is that an adult personality has a deeply rooted set of certain values in a person, which serve as the unifying basis of his life. The unifying philosophy of life therefore provides a kind of dominant value orientation, which gives significance and meaning to almost everything a person does.

16 Elements of Mental and Emotional Health (by Nancy McWilliams)
1.Ability to love
The ability to engage in relationships, to open up to another person. Love him as he is: with all his shortcomings and advantages. Without idealization and devaluation. It is the ability to give rather than take.
2.Ability to work
This applies not only to the profession. It is primarily about the ability to create and create.
It is important for people to realize that what they do has meaning and meaning for Others. This is the ability to bring something new into the world, creativity
3.Ability to play
Here we're talking about how about literally“games” in children, and about the ability of adults to “play” with words and symbols. This is an opportunity to use metaphors, allegories, humor, symbolize your experience and enjoy it
4.Safe relationships
Unfortunately, often people who seek psychotherapy are in violent, threatening, dependent relationships - in a word, unhealthy relationships
5.Autonomy
People who turn to psychotherapy often have a lack of it (but huge potential, since they finally came to therapy). People don't do what they really want. They don’t even have time to “choose” (listen to themselves) what they want.
6. Constancy of self and object or the concept of integration
This is the ability to remain in touch with all aspects of one's self: both good and bad, both pleasant and not causing intense joy. It is also the ability to feel conflicts without being split. This is the contact between the child I was, the person I am now, and the person I will be in 10 years. This is the ability to take into account and integrate everything that is given by nature and what I have managed to develop in myself. One of the violations of this point may be an “attack” on one’s own body, when it is not unconsciously perceived as part of oneself. It becomes something separate that can be forced to starve or cut, etc.
7.Ability to recover from stress (Ego strength)
If a person has enough ego strength, then when he encounters stress, he does not get sick, does not use only one inflexible defense to get out of it, and does not break down. He is capable of the most the best way adapt to a new situation
8.Realistic and reliable self-esteem
9. System of value orientations
It is important that a person understands ethical standards, their meaning, and at the same time be flexible in following them
10.Ability to endure intense emotions
Tolerating emotions means being able to stay with them, feel them, without acting under their influence. It is also the simultaneous ability to remain in contact with both emotions and thoughts - the rational part of oneself.
11.Reflection
The ability to look at yourself as if from the outside. People with reflection are able to see what exactly their problem is, and accordingly, deal with it in such a way as to solve it, helping themselves as effectively as possible
12.Mentalization
Possessing this ability, people are able to understand that Others are completely separate individuals, with their own characteristics, personal and psychological structure. Such people also see the difference between feeling offended by someone's words and the fact that the other person did not really mean to offend them
13. Wide variety of protective mechanisms and flexibility in their use
14. Balance between what I do for myself and for my environment.
This is about the opportunity to be yourself and take care of your own interests, while also taking into account the interests of the partner with whom you are in a relationship
15.Feeling of vitality
The ability to be and feel alive
16.Accepting what we cannot change
This is about the ability to be sincerely and honestly sad, to experience grief over what cannot be changed.
Accepting our limitations and mourning what we wish we had but don't have.

Thus, each person may have varying degrees these 16 elements of mental health.

(Yu. Kolotyrkina)

B. Livehud suggests that 3 main properties formed in a mature person This:
- the mind has matured into wisdom
- the ability to communicate has developed into softness and condescension
- self-awareness - into trust.

A few important components of mental health and well-being:

1. Accepting yourself as a person worthy of respect.

2. A person’s ability to maintain positive, warm, trusting relationships with others.

3. Autonomy is the independence and ability of a person to regulate his behavior from within, and not wait for praise or evaluation of himself from others. It is the ability by which a person can disengage from collective beliefs, prejudices and fears.

4. Environmental mastery - a person’s ability to actively choose and create his own environment that meets his psychological conditions life.

5. Confidence in the presence of purpose and meaning in life, as well as activities aimed at achieving meaning.

6. The need to realize oneself and one’s own abilities. An important aspect of treating yourself as an individual capable of self-improvement is also openness to new experiences.

By and large, mental health depends on the state of our body, psyche and social environment.

For children, additional conditions are required:

Presence of parents;

Attentiveness to the emotional needs of the child;

More autonomy and independence.

Merger– this is mixing with the manifestations of the selves of other people.
Fusion Characteristics:
1. Losing yourself in close relationships: anticipating desires, monitoring your partner’s behavior to please him, worrying about what they think of you.

2. The negative impact of another’s mood on your mood and attitude towards yourself.

3. Assessing one’s own value based on external criteria: praise, education, money, social life. status.

4. Unconscious children's reactions based on other people's opinions or childhood traumas: outbursts of fear, resentment, pain, anger, but more intense than the situation requires.

5. Blaming others: We accept people and the world as external to us, those who are “doing things to us” instead of recognizing our own participation in dramatic situations and personal problems.

6. Self-justification in the face of criticism.

7. The need to always be right or constantly consider yourself wrong.

8. Dependence on others for external convenience and emotional comfort.

9. Inability to share or thoughts that a person should somehow return what was given to you.

10. Presenting oneself as a righteous person or a sufferer, the point of view is that life is full of pain.

11. Obsessive behavior.

12. Changing our personality or behavior to please our partner.

13. The need to constantly save someone, worry about someone, be overly involved in their problems

14. Maintaining painful, abusive, meaningless relationships out of fear or unwillingness to be alone.

Discrimination- means the ability to maintain one’s identity by entering into close relationships with other people or by conflicting on the basis of beliefs. By discriminating, you are able to feel peace within yourself and not be captured by the emotions of other people, not influenced by their opinions and moods.

Characteristics Differences:
1. Sincerity - the ability to determine one’s own desires and say “yes”, “no”, “maybe”, express one’s feelings even in the face of unpleasant consequences.

2. The ability to remain within ourselves, regardless of the effects of other people's worries and concerns. Instead of absorbing negative feelings or feel responsible for other people's problems, we can smooth them out, give helpful advice and remain present witnesses of what is happening.

3. Maintaining our own value and our values is our self-worth ( http://vk.com/wall-30867759_4090) remains unchanged in the face of victories and defeats.

4. Improvement, transformation of one’s qualities through reflection, contact and experimentation.

5. Search and understanding of our values, often accompanied by a refusal to be guided by what we learned at school and in the family. Learning to trust your own inner wisdom.

6. Absence of deliberate prejudice towards various beliefs, theories and developments of events. Differences in opinions are natural and not scary.

7. Awareness of temptations on the Path: your own and others. This includes attempts at control and manipulation. In the same way, we monitor our motivation and do not deceive ourselves. We don’t hide behind fake innocence, charm, and simplicity.

8. Focus on your inner world: reflect and analyze your actions: how I contributed to the resolution of this situation, how I coped with this boring sex life, why I remain such a narrow-minded and angry person. We know how to admit our mistakes, apologize if necessary, and end relationships if they cause us any harm.

9. The ability to ask for or give support to others without feeling weak or inferior. Accept your right to make mistakes.

10. The ability to give not out of duty and without feeling that we are giving away part of ourselves: we experience pleasure from the generosity of our soul, free from self-interest and calculation.

11. Clear vision of others - do not evaluate by categories, do not demand their changes. Accepting others as they are.

12. The ability to calm yourself in stressful situations and cope with difficulties. Realize the meaning of difficulties, look at the situation from the outside, maintain composure.

Charlotte Castle

Clinical psychologist Albert Ellis, founder of rational emotive therapy, believed that basic character traits well-functioning or self-actualizing people are:

● Personal interest. First of all, they value their own interests, although they are ready to some extent to sacrifice them for the sake of those who are not indifferent to them.

● Social interest. Interested in meeting the needs of others and in social survival.

● Self-government. They take primary responsibility for their lives.

● Tolerance. They give themselves and others the right to make mistakes. Even if they do not like the behavior of some people, they refrain from blaming them as individuals.

● Flexibility. They think flexibly and are ready for change. They do not develop strict (rigid) rules for themselves and for other people.

● Acceptance of uncertainty. They recognize that the world is unstable and there are many accidents in it. Tend to maintain order, but do not demand it.

● Commitment. Have obligations to something outside of themselves. They achieve maximum realization of their capabilities, experiencing a constant interest in life.

● Creativity and originality. They show a penchant for innovation, have a creative approach to solving both everyday and professional problems. Often have at least one main creative interest.

●Rational and objective.

● Self-acceptance. They prefer to accept themselves unconditionally. They don't value their inner world from an external point of view, do not pay undue attention to what others think of them.

● Acceptance of the animal nature in man. Accept the animal nature of themselves and other people.

● Risk. Willing to take calculated risks to get what you want.

● Perspective hedonism. In search of happiness and avoidance of pain, but maintain a balance between perspective and immediate gain. Not obsessed with the desire for immediate gratification.

● Lack of utopianism. They believe that perfection may be unattainable. Refuse to unrealistically strive for complete happiness or the complete absence of negative emotions.

● High frustration tolerance. They change those unpleasant conditions that they can change, accept those conditions that they cannot change, and see the difference between them.

● Responsibility for disturbing your mental balance. Accepts most of the responsibility for their disorders rather than becoming defensive by blaming other people or social conditions.

A. Alexandrov from "integrative psychotherapy"

Self-actualization according to A. Maslow

SELF-ACTUALIZATION (from the Latin actualis - actual, real) is a person’s craving for the fullest disclosure of his spiritual potential, for identifying personal capabilities. This concept is the focus of attention of one of the prominent psychologists of the 20th century. K. Rogers.
Man, like other living organisms, has an innate tendency to live, grow, and develop. All biological needs are subject to this tendency. As a result of self-actualization, a person becomes more complex, independent, and socially responsible. Along with the formation of the “I,” the child develops a need for a positive attitude towards himself from others and a need for a positive self-attitude. In order for a child to realize himself, he must be surrounded with love and attention.
Unlike behaviorism and Freudianism, which believe that human behavior is determined primarily by biological factors, self-actualization advocates emphasize social and environmental factors.
"The need for unity of man with the environment, inclusion in the world of other living beings (field "organism - environment") - is an urgent need, on the satisfaction of which a person’s mental health depends. A person can try to find unity with the world by submitting to an individual, group, or organization. But in this case, a person becomes dependent on other people and, instead of developing his individuality, he becomes dependent on those whom he obeys or dominates." E. Shostrom

According to the famous humanistic psychologist A. Maslow, the need for self-actualization is the most important factor in the formation of a psychologically mature person.
Maslow said that human beings have instinct-like higher needs that are part of their biological nature, among them the need for self-actualization. On a non-verbal level, this means that every individual has a need to be seen in his essence, as he is."

Refusal of self-actualization ("Jonah complex")
“If you deliberately set out to become less of a person than your abilities allow you to be, I warn you that you will be deeply unhappy for the rest of your life.” A.Maslow
Maslow calls the Jonah complex a person’s reluctance to realize their natural abilities. Just as the biblical Jonah tried to avoid the responsibility of being a prophet, many people also avoid responsibility for fear of using their full potential. They prefer to set small, insignificant goals for themselves and do not strive for serious success in life. This “fear of grandeur” is perhaps the most dangerous barrier to self-actualization. A rich, full-blooded life seems unbearably difficult to many.
The roots of the Jonah complex can be seen in the fact that people are afraid to change their uninteresting, limited, but well-established existence, they are afraid to break away from everything familiar, to lose control over what they already have. A parallel with Fromm’s ideas, which he expressed in his famous book “Escape from Freedom,” involuntarily suggests itself.

Personal Sovereignty

"An important criterion psychological maturity is personal sovereignty"

Concept of Sovereignty

Maturity as a period of summing up certain results is often accompanied by a crisis with a revision of basic existential questions: about the meaning of one’s own existence, a change in identity, a revision of the boundaries of psychological space
The most important criterion of psychological maturity is personal sovereignty (PS)
LS refers to a person’s internal emotional agreement with the circumstances of his life. Sovereignty is manifested in a person’s experience of the authenticity of his own being, appropriateness, and confidence that he acts accordingly own desires and beliefs.
The dependent position of a person is characterized by the fact that a person acts following the logic of circumstances and the will of other people. The dominant experiences in this case will be a feeling of subordination, alienation, fragmentation of one’s own life: a person feels either in “foreign territory” or out of his time.
The sovereignty of the individual is manifested in relation to the personalized part of the environment - the psychological space (SP) of the individual and its boundaries
A person's personal control boundaries are physical and psychological markers that separate one person's area of personal control and privacy from another.
Functions of psychological boundaries:
1. Subjectivity is born at the border with the world, they show where I ends and someone else begins
2. define personal identity - i.e. ways of self-expression and self-affirmation. In case of dysfunction - blurred identity
3. By setting a boundary, a person creates an opportunity and tool for equal interaction. Mature contacts are carried out precisely on the border, where separation from each other is maintained, and the emerging union does not violate the integrity of the individual. If the function is impaired, contact is replaced by either passive manipulation or aggressive disrespect for another
4. selection of external influences and protection from destructive influences. Dysfunction leads to victim attitude
5. determine the limits of personal responsibility. Violation of this function leads to: hyper-responsibility and mental overload, neurotic feelings of guilt, infantilization of others, inability to seek help

Weakness of boundaries:
1. vulnerability to social influences, claims to personal property and territory, worldview and body. These people are characterized by deprived (deprived) personal space
2. lack of internal restraining forces before introducing other people into the space. Such people are characterized by their own super-sovereign space, that is, a space with rigidly fixed boundaries.

Maturity is characterized by the presence of a sovereign personal psychological space with strong boundaries, which he moves at his own discretion, taking into account the interests of other people.
(E. Fedorenko)

PARADOX OF LOVE

The main problem of love is first become mature. Then you will find a mature partner; then immature people will not attract you at all.

This is exactly what happens.

If you're twenty-five years old, you don't fall in love with a two-month-old baby. In the same way, if you are a mature person psychologically, spiritually, you will not fall in love with a child. This doesn't happen. This can't be, you see it's pointless.

A mature person has enough integrity to be alone. And when a mature person gives love, he gives it without any secret threads attached to it - he simply gives. When a mature person gives love, he feels grateful that you accepted it, not the other way around.
He doesn't expect you to be grateful for this - no, not at all, he doesn't even need your gratitude. He thanks you for accepting his love.

And when two mature people love each other, one of the greatest paradoxes of life occurs, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are together, but at the same time immensely lonely. They are together to such an extent that they are almost one, but their unity does not destroy individuality - in fact, it increases it, they become more individual. Two mature people in love help each other become freer.

There is no politics, no diplomacy, no trying to dominate another. How can you try to dominate the person you love? Just think about it - submission is a kind of hatred, anger, hostility. How can you even think about subjugating the person you love? You would like to see this person completely free, independent; you'd like to give it more personality.

That is why I call this the great paradox: they are together so much that they have almost merged into one, but still in this unity they remain individuals. Their personalities do not mix - they are amplified. The other is enriching in terms of freedom.

Excerpt from OSHO's book - "Maturity"

One of the founding fathers of systemic and family therapy, Murray Bowen on differentiation criteria, "Pseudo-Self" and "Hard Self"
The independent functioning of intelligence is not the only criterion for correct differentiation. There is a “Pseudo-Self” and a “Solid Self”.
The “hard self” is a person’s own; it is “composed of clearly defined ideas, beliefs and life principles that enter the self from life experience through a process of intellectual reasoning and as a result of careful selection." Thanks to this, the true Self has unity and coherence: “Every belief of the solid Self, every life principle is combined with all the others.”
The basis for calling the “true self” “solid” is that the “solid self” is able to withstand not only the reactions of its own emotional-instinctive system, but also the pressure of others. "At any specific situation it says: “This is me, I believe in this, I stand on this, I will do this, but I won’t do this.” ... By making a choice, a person becomes responsible for himself and for the consequences of his actions. … The Solid Self will act in accordance with its principles even in the most severe and troubling situation.
In contrast, the “pseudo-self is made up of a wide range of principles, beliefs, worldly wisdom and knowledge that are considered “correct” and internalized because the group demands it. Since these principles are acquired under pressure, they are random and do not fit together, although the individual may not be aware of their inconsistency.

“Pseudo-I” is created under the pressure of emotions and under the pressure of emotions can be modified. Any emotional unit, be it a family or an entire community, exerts pressure on the members of its group in order to submit to the ideals and principles of the group. ... The pseudo-self is the pretended self, ... it is an actor, it can be represented by many different selves. ... For most people, it is not difficult to identify overt pretense, but since each of us is a bit of an actor, it can be quite difficult to identify subtle pretense. ... a good actor can be so realistic that without detailed knowledge of the functioning of emotional systems, it is impossible for himself and the people around him to distinguish between the solid self and the pseudo-self... The pseudo-self is created in the image and likeness of a system of relationships, and it is the subject of exchange in system of relations."
Murray Bowen.

Many thanks

The level of personality development is often correlated with the degree of its socialization. The criteria of maturity, accordingly, appear as the criteria of socialization. At the same time, the question of the criteria for personality maturity has not been resolved once and for all in Russian psychology. Among the maturity indicators:

The breadth of social connections, presented at the subjective level: I-other, I-others, I-society as a whole, I-humanity;

A measure of the development of personality as a subject;

The nature of the activity is from appropriation to implementation and conscious reproduction;

Social competence.

In G. Allport’s view, mental health, intelligence, maturity are concepts of the same level. He identifies six main criteria of maturity.

1. The expansion of the sense of self, which gradually arises in infancy, is not fully formed in the first 3-4 years or even in the first 10 years of life, but continues to expand with experience as the range of things in which a person participates increases. What is important here is the activity of the Self, which must be purposeful.

2. Warmth in relationships with others. A person must be capable of significant intimacy in love (in a strong friendship). And at the same time, avoid idle, obsessive involvement in relationships with other people, even with your own family.

3. Emotional security (self-acceptance). A mature person expresses his or her beliefs and feelings while taking into account the beliefs and feelings of others and without feeling threatened by the expression of emotions - by themselves or others.

4. Realistic perception, skills and tasks. A mature personality must be focused on the problem, on something objective that is worth doing. The task makes you forget about satisfying drives, pleasures, pride, and protection. This criterion is obviously related to responsibility, which is the existentialist ideal of maturity. At the same time, a mature personality is in close contact with the real world.

5. Self-objectification – understanding, humor. A person acting for show does not realize that his deception is transparent and his posture is inadequate. A mature person knows that it is impossible to “fake” a personality; one can only deliberately play a role for the sake of entertainment. The higher the self-understanding, the more clearly a person’s sense of humor is expressed. It is worth remembering that real humor sees behind some serious object or subject (for example, oneself) the contrast between appearance and essence.

6. Unified philosophy of life. A mature person necessarily has a clear idea of his purpose in life. A mature person has a relatively clear self-image. This criterion is associated with the “maturity” of conscience. A mature conscience is a feeling of duty to maintain one’s self-image in an acceptable form, to continue one’s chosen line of proprietary aspirations, and to create one’s own style of being. Conscience is a type of self-government.

It is important to note that the process of socialization does not stop in adulthood. Moreover, it never ends, but always has a conscious or unconscious goal. Thus, the concepts of “maturity” and “adulthood” are not synonymous. In fact, even at the individual level, the concepts of “maturity” and “adulthood” do not completely coincide. Within the framework of one paradigm, the problem of maturity can be considered at the level of the relationship between different levels of human organization: individual, personality, subject of activity. According to A. A. Bodalev, in the process of human development there is a certain relationship between the manifestations of the individual, personality and subject of activity. The nature of this relationship can be presented in four main ways.

1. Individual development of a person significantly outstrips his personal and subject-activity development. A person is physically already an adult, but his assimilation of the basic values of life, attitude to work, and sense of responsibility are insufficient. More often this occurs in those families where parents “extend childhood” for their children.

2. Personal development of a person proceeds more intensively than his individual and subject-activity development. All qualities (values, relationships) outstrip the pace of physical maturation, and a person as a subject of labor cannot develop habits for everyday work effort or determine his calling.

3. Subjective-activity development is in the lead compared to the other two. A person can almost fanatically love to work at the level of his still small physical capabilities and poorly formed positive personal qualities.

4. There is a relative correspondence between the pace of individual, personal and subject-activity development. The ratio that is most optimal for human development throughout his life. Normal physical development and good physical well-being are one of the factors not only for more successful assimilation, but also for the manifestation of the basic values of life and culture, which are expressed in the motives of human behavior. And positive motivation, behind which stands the emotional-need core of the personality, is one of the indispensable components of the structure of a person as an active subject of activity.

Responsibility;

Tolerance;

Self-development;

Positive thinking or a positive attitude towards the world, which determines a positive outlook on the world.

The last component is integrative, since it covers all the others, being simultaneously present in them.

Self-development is influenced by a large group of factors: individual characteristics, age, relationships with others, professional activities, family relationships, etc. The process of self-development of an adult is uneven, changes in personal relationships at certain periods of life are progressive in nature, raising it to the level of “acme” “, then evolutionary processes begin, leading to “stagnation” or regression of the personality.

The stage of maturity and at the same time a certain peak of this maturity - acme(translated from Greek means “top”, “edge”) is a multidimensional state of a person, which, although it covers a significant stage of his life in terms of time, is never a static formation and is characterized by greater or lesser variability and changeability. Acme shows how successful a person is as a citizen, as a specialist in a certain type of activity, as a spouse, as a parent, etc.

Acmeology is a science that arose at the intersection of natural, social, humanitarian, and technical disciplines, studying the phenomenology, patterns and mechanisms of human development at the stage of his maturity and especially when he reaches the highest level in this development.

The concept of “acmeology” was proposed in 1928 by N. A. Rybnikov, and a new area of scientific research in human studies began to be created in 1968 by B. G. Ananyev. One of the most important tasks of acmeology is to clarify the characteristics that must be formed in a person in preschool childhood, primary school age, during adolescence and youth, so that he can successfully express himself in all respects at the stage of maturity.

When analyzing the level of human personality development, it is important to separate two concepts: adulthood and personal maturity. An adult is a person who has reached a certain age. Maturity - this is a level of personal development when a person is guided by his own values and principles, which at the same time have universal breadth and universality.

The understanding of a mature personality is quite diverse. For some authors, a mature personality is a unique, isolated, rarely encountered phenomenon. Others believe that maturity is achieved by many people and is widely represented in society. Third, I perceive a mature personality as an ideal to which a person should strive and which is achieved only through long-term, purposeful work on oneself.

A socially mature person is able not only to successfully adapt to his environment, but also to actively influence it, rebuilding his environment in accordance with his beliefs, principles and value orientations.

Various authors have described the traits of a mature personality. I.P. Shkuratov identifies three main criteria for a mature personality:

· Acts not under the influence of momentary factors, but on the basis of its value system, which has been developing over the years.

· Able to perform actions even under the threat of punishment (for example, from the authorities) and loss of life benefits.

· Can contribute to the growth and development of the personality of others.

A.V. Soloviev defines a mature personality with the following characteristics:

· Mental health is necessary condition personality development.

· Efficiency and optimality – that is, the predominance of active forms of adaptation to the surrounding world.

· Harmony – expressed in the internal tendency to resist destabilizing external influences.

· “Full functioning” (A. Maslow’s term) is activity, creative realization of oneself in the world.

· Differentiation - the desire to accumulate diverse internal experience, knowledge, skills and ideas, which it draws from its own activities and communication and introspection.

· Integration – a person’s determination of the meaning of life.

· Successful resolution of various types internal conflicts, inevitably arising due to the excessive complexity of human social existence.

Various descriptions of a mature personality and its inherent traits are given in humanistic concepts. Within these concepts, a mature personality is understood as being in constant development.

In the 60s XX century A. Maslow formulated the following definition of a mature personality: “Self-actualized individuals (more mature, more humane) already, by definition, act as people who have satisfied their basic needs, people whose lives are governed by higher motives.

Most of A. Maslow’s work is devoted to the study of people who have achieved self-actualization in life, those who can be considered healthy psychologically. He discovered that such people have the following characteristics:

· Objective perception of reality.

· Full acceptance of one's own nature.

· Passion and dedication to any cause

· Simplicity and naturalness of behavior

· The need for autonomy and independence and the opportunity to retire somewhere, to be alone.

· Intense mystical and religious experience, the presence of higher experiences. Higher experiences are especially joyful and intense experiences in the life of every person. A. Maslow associates higher experiences with a strong feeling of love, with the pleasure of contact with a work of art or the exceptional beauty of nature.

· Friendly and sympathetic attitude towards people.

· Noconformism – resistance to external pressures.

· Democratic personality type

· Creative approach to life

· High level of social interest (this idea was borrowed from A. Maslow and A. Adler).

Usually these are people of middle age and older, they are not susceptible to neuroses. According to A. Maslow, such self-actualized individuals make up no more than one percent of the population.

K. Rogers' concept is largely similar to A. Maslow's concept of self-actualization. For K. Rogers, full disclosure of personality is characterized by the following features:

· Openness to experiences of all types.

· The intention to live life to the fullest at every moment of life.

· The ability to listen more to your own instincts and intuition than to reason and the opinions of others.

· A sense of freedom in thoughts and actions.

· High level of creativity.

K. Rogers describes a person who has reached the fullest disclosure more as being actualized than actualized, emphasizing the long-term, permanent nature of this phenomenon. He strongly emphasizes the constant growth of man.

To summarize, we can say that maturity is characterized by a tendency to achieve the highest development of spiritual, intellectual and physical powers. A personally mature person has the following characteristics:

· own developed system of values, reflected in activities and communication with other people;

· developed sense of responsibility;

· the need to care for other people;

· active participation in the life of society;

· ability for psychological intimacy with other people;

· high level of vital activity;

· awareness of the meaning of your life;

· ability to make personal choices in various life situations;

ability to effective use your potential and finding resources to solve various life problems;

· desire for self-realization.